“I should take something more than his booze,” I said, looking down at the gold cross necklace laying on his chest. “I’ll keep this, for Raven.”
We each found a bottle of high-end booze and used the rest to start a fire. Bianchi and his sheet were the center, and we stood in the backyard long enough to make sure that the fire really took off. We walked a few blocks and downed the bottles.
“What did you think?” Fen asked.
“Well, it’s not my favorite thing in the world. Probably the worst thing I’ve ever done.”
“I’ll ask you again in a week, and we’ll see how you’re doing. Maybe wait a few days before you give that trophy to your girl and wash the blood off of it. Most girls don’t like being handed a bloody present.”
Fuck.
I did vomit. Fen pushed me off balance and laughed at me, shaking his head.
“This is why it’s DT and me for this shit, bro,” he said, shaking his head and his expression sobered.
“Maybe just stick to beating the fuckin’ brakes off a motherfucker and leave the killing to me from now on. It’s not for everybody, man.”
I nodded and spit, doubled over, my hands on my knees.
“I had to see it through,” I said, and he took a pull from his bottle.
“You did good for bein’ fuckin’ amateur hour.”
“Thanks,” I muttered. “I think.”
“You’re welcome.” He lifted his head as sirens split the night air. “Come on, keep walking. They’re singing our song.”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
We fell into step and made strides until Fen deemed it safe to order up a ride.
16
Raven…
“Where are they?” I wondered out loud. It was late, the darkest dark outside Aspen’s shop windows.
She sighed and looked at me with something like pity and said, “When the guys say club business, it’s none of our business. I’ve seen it where Fen’s been gone a couple of days. No explanation and definitely no questions asked. It’s difficult sometimes, but it’s how they are,” she said with a bit of a shrug.
I smiled and thought about it and nodded.
“That’s… that’s a lot,” I said and sucked in a deep breath. “But in all fairness, my schedule can get pretty weird too.”
She smiled at me and nodded. “It can be a lot sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade Fen for the world. It’s just a part of him, you know?”
I nodded slowly and said, “Yeah, I might have some idea.”
It was true, I did. Burners led an artistic and nomadic lifestyle for the most part. I know I had certainly been guilty of following my heart and my creative purpose to the detriment of a relationship or two. It would be hypocritical of me to expect or demand anything from Mace when it came down to it.
He had his life, and I had mine. They would either fit or—
“Wait!” I looked back over my shoulder at Aspen who was working some clay on her wheel. “Don’t go out there. Let them settle down and get showers or do whatever. They’ll come find us when they’re ready.”
“You act like they were doing something illegal,” I said jokingly but the look on her face said I had hit the nail right on the head. She looked away.
“Club business is none of our business. Is it patriarchal and kind of bull?” she asked. “Yes, but it’s also practical. You learn to look the other way, or things won’t last long.”
I wandered back over to my seat and dropped into it a little heavily.
“And is that worth the trade-off?” I asked softly.
She smiled at me then and it was a genuine one as she pushed an escaped blond curl from her ponytail off her forehead.
“It’s absolutely worth it,” she said. “Do I worry? Yes, but I’ve also developed an understanding.”
She worked the mound of clay before her into the beginning of a mug shape. She’d actually been working on them for hours and just about every available surface in her workshop had one on it drying.
“What do you think they do?” I asked curiously, staring out her little shop’s window at the back of the house where the men had disappeared.
“Oh, eventually, you’re around long enough, you get some ideas,” she said and sighed. “Nothing’s ever confirmed, but you’ll know.”
“I’ve been in situations like that before,” I said a bit grimly. Drugs were a thing in Burning Man circles. Some more insidious than others. Most for recreational purposes. Still, addiction was pretty rampant.
“I shouldn’t say anymore,” she said kindly and smiled. “I’m afraid I’m giving you the wrong ideas.”
I shook my head slightly and said, “If anything were to give me the wrong idea, it’s their already established reputations,” I murmured. “They’re very confusing in that regard.”
Aspen laughed and nodded. “Yes, they are!” she agreed with gusto. “Despite all appearances, and rough exteriors, their world makes more sense in a lot of ways. It’s simpler, somehow.”
I nodded. “So simple it gets complicated,” I said, thinking about some of the activist circles I ran in.
Aspen nodded. “Yeah, that sounds right.”
“A lot of drama then?” I asked, and she shook her head.
“Oh, no! Not like most places and with most people,” she said. “Usually, a quick fistfight and it’s quashed.” I chuckled and nodded, and she went on, “They’re passionate.” A small smile touched her lips. “You’ll never be loved as fiercely as they will love you, and the family ties with them run deeper than any blood relative tie I’ve ever had. There’s a lot more that’s good than bad in this life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
I smiled then and said, “Now that’s definitely something I know something about.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Chosen family being better and more supportive than the family you’re born into. Everyone needs to find their own tribe and each tribe is going to
