‘I was personally going for something with high-volume alcohol content, but if you’d like an “Options” drinking choc … that’s all I’ve got?’ I put my head on one side.
‘God.’ He shakes his head. ‘You must think me a real bore for even suggesting hot chocolate. But it’s Jess’s favourite and I’ve taken to drinking it with her now. Better than opening a bottle of whiskey, which is a slippery slope when you’re on your own and responsible for a three-year-old.’
‘Of course. I feel like a terrible parent now! Hot chocolate it is,’ I say. I don’t think he’s a bore at all. I think it’s commendable he refrains from drinking and puts Jess first all the time. He’s clearly a thoughtful and responsible dad.
‘I wasn’t implying you were a bad parent because you wanted a drink,’ he says, his eyes wide. ‘Oh, dear. I’ve certainly got off on the wrong foot.’ He’s flustered; flashes of red track up his throat. He rubs his face.
‘Hey, Adam. Stop,’ I say, walking into the kitchen. Adam follows. ‘You’re here. Do you see anyone else?’ I wave my hand around. ‘The police have invaded my home today, searching for evidence to condemn my husband.’ I hear the catch in my voice and cough to cover it up. Adam’s eyes widen but I carry on speaking so he doesn’t ask about it. I don’t want to cry again. ‘Having company right now is probably the best thing for me and I don’t have anyone else to lean on. Don’t worry about what you say – I’m no better than you at this stuff, trust me. Remember at the café when I said things I immediately regretted? You said you didn’t mind.’
Adam nods and takes a deep breath, appearing to compose himself following my shock revelation. ‘No, I didn’t mind, you’re right. It’s not about what people say is it? It’s their actions. It’s someone taking time to talk, offer their ear. That’s what matters.’
‘Exactly. And I feel the same. I’m grateful you made the decision to pop over.’ I find the sachets of hot chocolate and grab two mugs. It’s good that Adam’s here – I’d have hit the bottle and had at least two glasses by now if I’d been left to my own devices.
‘Good – then I’m glad I made it to the door.’
‘Me too. You being here will help take my mind off the fact the detectives want to speak with me tomorrow.’
‘Oh, wow.’ He raises his eyebrows. ‘Heavy. You must be so anxious, especially after today’s search. Look, I’m not here after the inside scoop – you don’t have to tell me anything.’
‘I know. Thank you, Adam. I trust you.’
Probably more than I trust my husband right now.
Chapter 20
BETH
Now
Last night helped. Adam was every bit the good listener he promised, and although I didn’t divulge all my current feelings – or the horror I felt at having my home ransacked by so many people – it felt good to share some of my fears; vocalise them to someone other than a solicitor. We ended up talking more about Camilla than Tom. He’s clearly been devastated by losing her, especially the way it happened – a severe anaphylaxis reaction. He said she’d become complacent about her nut allergy, having not had any issues for years, and she didn’t religiously check labelling. She carried an EpiPen, so there’d never been any real worry about something so tragic happening.
He said he talks about her all the time with Jess, but he can’t open up to anyone about how he feels deep down; how it’s impacted his life; how lonely he is. He told me how he misses adult company and conversation, but he doesn’t want to put his needs ahead of Jess’s. Poor Adam. As it turned out I think he needed me more than I needed him. Although at least he took my mind off my own situation. He’s going to bring Jess into the café again, make it more of a regular thing so she can have fun, but also so he can interact with adults. I think it’s the perfect solution for him.
I wonder what my perfect solution is.
Poppy was reluctant for me to leave her at nursery this morning. Maybe she can sense my growing anxiety. I saw the group of mums from yesterday and had a quick chat, careful to avoid any mention of the police search or Tom’s arrest. They didn’t speak about it either even though I bet they know about both events and are dying to find out more. After my chat with DS Manning and DC Cooper in a few hours, I should have a clearer picture of where all this is heading. Then I’ll prepare for the next stage.
If it all goes well, perhaps Tom will be home later. We’ll go back to our regular lives. It’s so weird to think that a few days ago everything seemed happy, easy and carefree. How quickly things can change. In an instant, your path can take a sharp turn and lead you somewhere you never anticipated.
I’ll be glad once this police chat is over. At least they’ve agreed to carry it out at home, rather than the station. I couldn’t face the added humiliation of that – although it does mean the neighbours might spot them coming to the cottage. Again.
‘Morning,’ I say as I step inside the café. Two tables are taken: people enjoying drinks and cakes. No one is doing any pottery painting. The customers, none of whom I immediately recognise as locals, return polite greetings and watch me as I walk through. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle.
‘Hey, Lucy. Everything all right here this morning?’ I ask as I pop on an apron.
