“My mother hates me. She really does. I hate her too, and I told her today, but she told me that to hate was to sin. She beat me up, and she locked me in the cupboard and told me that I must suffer for my sins. I begged her to let me out, but she said that my screams would purge me of my sins. She said I must repent, and I must suffer to earn my redemption. She says I am a sinner. Just a sinner. A dirty, filthy sinner. I believe it now. I am a sinner and need to be purged. The devil inside me is too strong. After all, it makes me hate my mother. She says I am a foul, nasty boy. She tells me I am filthy and dirty and I will burn in hell. I don’t like hell. It scares me. I don’t want to go there. This is my fault. I am the sinner.”
Robin flipped past the pages, each of them filled with the tales of his abuse by his mother. As a strictly religious woman, it seemed that she used God as a reason to torture her own child. The mother lived a secluded life, deserted by her husband and mentally ill. The only one she loved was her own twisted version of God, and the Butcher was the one who had suffered.
Chapter Four
The story of the Butcher’s past was perhaps one of the most twisted, convoluted, and disturbing stories Robin had ever heard. As she read through the passages, she pitied the child that used to be the Butcher. With the cruelty he had endured as a child, it was hardly surprising that he had grown up to be a serial killer. Robin thought of all the families whose lives had been ruined. Parents who would never be the same again, husbands who have lost their wives forever, and most of all, children, cruelly torn from their mother by the Butcher.
Even after ten years, she was sure that all those families still hadn’t recovered from the trauma of losing their dear ones to the Butcher. And to think it all started with an overzealous religious mother and a lack of love. As Robin read through the pages, she realized it was all the child ever wanted. The Butcher had only ever wanted to be loved. He had strived for love but only felt abuse at the hands of his mother and the rejection of others.
Years of being told that he is a sinner and years of brainwashing had shattered the Butcher’s mental stability. He truly started to believe that he was a sinner and would have to suffer in fear and pain for him to be free of it.
“Mother beat me up today. She used my belt because she wanted to see me bleed. She said she was doing this because she loves me. She wants me to be free of the sins that bind me to this earth. She told me about heaven and how you could have everything you want there. She said she just wants me to go to heaven.
I had to go to school all bruised up, but Mr. Fore didn’t care about me. He was angry that I was late for school. He took a ruler and hit my hand for being so late. One day I am going to get him back. One day, I am going to cut his head off and each one of his arms and hands. And I will do it while he is still alive.
Mother is right; I am evil. I get such bad thoughts all the time. I go to bed dreaming of torturing my mother to death. I am evil. I need to be purged of these dark thoughts. I need to be purged.”
Robin flipped through the following few pages and then stopped when she came across a chilling entry.
“I did it. I finally did it. Mother constantly tortured me because she wanted me to be free of my sins. Well, I decided to return the favor. After all, isn’t my mother a sinner? If she were pure, she would be in heaven, wouldn’t she? I asked her about it before I knocked her out and tied her up. She begged me for forgiveness. She said that the one who purges the evil out of others is also freed of their sins. Well, mother, today you were freed of your sins, and I will continue your noble task of freeing others from theirs until one day I am also clean.
Today, I purged my mother. She is now gone. Gone. Gone!”
It seemed that his mother was such a recluse, that when she died, no one noticed that she was missing. Living in a slum, no one really cared about each other. And he had gotten away with it.
This was soon followed by another murder, this one of Mr. Fore. The teacher was brutally murdered, his limbs chopped off, and then fed to the dogs. Robin almost didn’t want to continue reading this anymore. She wanted to throw up as she read the sick and twisted entries in his diary. Every bit of this was horrible, and Robin shuddered as she read it.
“I think I am in love. I found her. I found the one who is meant for me. She and I will work together, and together we will purge this world of evil. She and I will be saints who will rule this world and ascend to heaven as one!
She hates me and won’t look at me or talk to me. She is cruel and vicious, just like my mother. But maybe it’s because she doesn’t understand me. Perhaps because she doesn’t realize how much I love her. If I manage to convince her that she is mine and show her our destiny, I know she will say yes to me.
I got her. I have her in my basement. She is crying and
