“I’ll be doing a grocery store run and a few other errands before I get home,” Molly said. “It might be a couple hours.”
“That’s fine, I’ll tell Jane I’m busy this morning.”
“Oh, I don’t think Jane will appreciate that,” Molly said with a chuckle.
“She’ll be fine,” Madeline smiled back. She knew she needed to talk to Noah, he needed his mother to listen to him, to support him, maybe even scold him for his recent behavior. After Molly left, Madeline sat quietly at the kitchen table with Noah. She suddenly remembered how he looked as a baby, so fragile, his pale skin almost translucent in the light. He had such an innocent smile, one that melted Madeline’s heart even after a sleepless night. She wondered what happened to that boy. How he turned into someone who got into fights in school, someone who made other children afraid and other mothers judge Madeline relentlessly. It’s because she’s never around, the other mothers said. It’s what happens when you’re raised by a nanny. Madeline was sure she had heard the other mothers saying these things at school functions, but Brandon insisted it was all in her head. You need to stop judging yourself, he always told her. You’re an amazing mother, and you’re setting a great example for the boys. Of course, Madeline wanted to believe him, but it simply couldn’t be true. If it were true, why had Noah been labeled as he had? Why had his actions led to him receiving that label? Madeline had a hard time even thinking of that word, the word the other mothers called her son. It made her cringe, made her feel like a failure, made her angry at Noah. Noah, the Bully.
“Do you want to tell me what happened yesterday?”
“It was nothing,” Noah said. “Can I go back to my room?”
“Mr. Kendrick didn’t think it was nothing,” Madeline responded. “How about we go out for ice cream?”
“Mom, we just had breakfast.”
“So what? If I buy you ice cream, you won’t eat it?”
Noah let a smile escape his lips. Madeline motioned him to follow her and they walked together to the driveway where Madeline’s car was waiting. Noah jumped in the front seat and Madeline entered the driver side. She liked driving. It gave her a sense of control that she always missed when sitting in the backseat being chauffeured around while she worked. When she drove, she had a clear view of what was ahead. She could choose which routes to take, and she sometimes preferred the longer ones if it brought her past a park she used to bring the boys to, or the old restaurant where Brandon had proposed. She could drive by the restaurant now if she wanted, on the way to Noah’s favorite ice cream store. It would only add five minutes to the drive, but it would bring hours of calmness to Madeline, reminding her of why she loved her husband.
“Buckle up,” Madeline reminded her son before she reversed out of the driveway. Noah sat silently looking out the window as she drove. Madeline weaved through the streets of their Southern California neighborhood. She turned left when it would have been faster to go straight so she could pass the restaurant she wanted to remember. It was a small Italian place run by an immigrant family from Tuscany. Madeline remembered the wine cabinets that lined the walls and the smell of crispy cheese that always wafted through the dining area. The restaurant had closed many years ago. Today it was a pizza parlor, a much more casual setting where teenagers came in bathing suits after the beach to grab a slice. Although there were still remnants of authenticity corked into the walls. Surely no one but Madeline recognized those.
“Mom, you’re going the wrong way,” Noah whined when Madeline turned. “It’s straight and then a right.”
“Of course, sweetie,” Madeline responded. “My mistake.”
“It’s a good thing you have a driver when you’re working,” Noah said. “Otherwise you’d probably get lost all the time and miss all your events.”
Madeline laughed. “You’re right.” A few minutes later they pulled into the parking lot where the ice cream store stood. The storefront was dark and empty.
“It’s closed!” Noah whined. “Mom, you wasted our time.”
Madeline looked at the storefront. She should have checked, she thought. What kind of ice cream store is open so early? But next door was a small coffee shop that was alive with business. Women in sports attire were entering and exiting with paper cups and brown bags.
“Let’s go in there,” Madeline motioned to Noah. “I’m sure they have desserts.”
Noah agreed begrudgingly, and followed his mother into the coffee store. Sure enough at the counter was a glass case full of cakes and pastries that immediately drew Noah in. He approached it and placed his hands on the glass as he studied his options.
Madeline ordered herself a second coffee and the cheesecake slice Noah had requested. “It’s not ice cream, but I guess it’s OK,” Noah had said to Madeline regarding his choice. Poor boy, Madeline thought to herself sarcastically. What a difficult life he has! Being forced to give up ice cream for cheesecake! Sometimes she wished her boys grew up differently. With a few more hardships. Not too many that they struggled in school or went to bed hungry. Just enough struggles that they would be able to understand the privileges they had.
Madeline took her coffee and Noah’s cheesecake to an empty table in the coffee shop. Once they were sitting down and Noah had eaten enough of the cake that the sugar would have already changed his mood, Madeline decided to bring up the topic from earlier.
“Do you want to tell me what happened at school yesterday?”
“Nothing happened,” Noah said, forking another bite into his
