“If?”
He shuffles around uneasily. “Well, I mean, it’s a thirty-year contract, and I’ve put a lot of miles on this body. Plus, with all the blood-letting, I just don’t know if…” He trails off, opening his hands helplessly. “That’s why… Fuck, you really shouldn’t have come here. I’m really fucking glad to see you, but this is something I have to do. It’s the natural consequence of my actions. Isn’t that what you used to tell me?”
I gape at him. “Yeah, when you were crying on the toilet because you were too high to take a shit for three weeks! This is a life sentence, Nathan. A. Life. Sentence. For what, losing some dirty money? None of those bastards even deserved to have that much cash. You losing it was their natural consequence. This? This is nothing more than manipulation. That whole story you just told me was like watching a rat follow a trail of peanut butter to a snap trap. You were set up.”
He shakes his head. “No. I don’t think so—”
“You don’t? Then let me tell you something you don’t know. The guy who owns the race track is a fucking vampire.”
“I—” He breaks off, his jaw slowly falling open. “What?”
“Yup. I would bet—not you, obviously, you’re never taking another bet again—but I would bet that the guy on the dock was a vampire too, and that there wasn’t a goddamn thing in that case. Who did you get the loan from?”
Nathan scratched at the slight shadow of stubble on his face. “Skeezy Pete.”
“Vampire. And the guy who wanted you to sell drugs for him?”
He swallows hard. “Dude named Steel-eye Sam.”
I frown, thinking. “Okay, I don’t know that one. But think about it, Nathan. You wouldn’t have gone to Skeezy unless you were desperate. Skeezy’s the one who sent you to the track. Someone at the track sent you upstairs. You were funneled here like a rat in a fucking maze. Can’t you see that?”
My brother shakes his head, then drops it and shakes it some more. He sits down heavily on the bed and lets his arms dangle limply in front of him. I don’t speak, just let him process everything.
After a few minutes, he straightens up and looks at me with a frightened sort of defiance.
“It doesn’t matter if I was funneled or not,” he says, like an idiot. “This was going to happen eventually. You know that. That’s why you walked away from me when I wouldn’t move in with you. So that you wouldn’t get sucked down with me.”
My heart feels like it cracks open in my chest, leaving the blood in my veins with nowhere to go. I don’t know what hurts more—that he would even think that of me, or that on some level, maybe he’s right.
I sit down on the bed next to him and bump my head gently against his. “I really thought you would pull yourself out of it if I gave you the chance.”
“Come on, Mimi, you know me better than that. I’m not good at things the way you are. I fuck up everything I touch, no matter what I try. Even when I got sober, I still couldn’t get my shit together. I’m—fucking hell, I’m tired of eating garbage. I’m tired of having to fight off rats when I’m trying to sleep. I’m tired of trusting people and getting screwed over.”
He sighs, and it’s such a broken sound that it makes tears burn the backs of my eyes.
“These people,” he continues in a low voice. “These vampires. They aren’t good people, but at least I know where I stand with them. I know exactly what I’m supposed to do because it’s all there in black and white. They’re giving me a home and a bed and good food, they’re settling up my debts, they’re taking care of me—and all I have to do for them is let them suck on my neck a little bit.”
“Drink your blood,” I correct him harshly.
“Whatever,” he murmurs. “At least the holes don’t stay.” He touches his old track marks self-consciously.
Something twists in my stomach, and I straighten up suddenly and smack him across the back of his head. I swear I mean to do it lightly, but all the frustration I’ve been channeling all night makes it harder to pull my hit.
“Ow!” He jerks, reaching back to rub at his dark hair.
“I’m not going to let you sit here and martyr yourself,” I say, holding his gaze as I lean toward him. “You’re wrong when you say I shouldn’t have come here. I’m not gonna abandon you. I’m going to get us both out of here.”
“Mimi—”
“Don’t.” I hold up a hand to stop him. “You aren’t thinking clearly, but I am. I’m under a contract with the vamps just like you are now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting. They don’t get to rig the game and win every time. We get to win this time. All we have to do is get out of here, and I can take you far away from here. Someplace they’ll never find us. How about Canada? Or, I don’t know, Portugal?”
He doesn’t look excited. “It’s not a good idea to go up against these guys,” he insists. “They’re really powerful.”
“So am I,” I growl. “Listen to me, Nathan. You just keep your head down. Don’t draw any attention to yourself, don’t go flirting with anybody, just keep to yourself. Be a statue. No making friends, no falling in love with vampires. Also, and I cannot stress this enough—do not talk to me in public. Don’t even look at me if you can help it. You and I do not know
