“I’d been sacked from my government job, for something that was not exactly my fault. I’d been applying at places, but nothing was coming through, and things were getting a little desperate. Luckily, a friend of a friend asked him to give me a call, and he did. He saved my ass. That’s Kannon for you. He comes through when you need him.”
I nodded. “He seems like that kind of guy.”
She still watched me, and I could feel her eyes dissecting every nuanced movement, the brush of my fingers through my hair, my lifted brow, the graze of teeth over my lip, and I was hyper aware of it all. “You’re curious about him.”
I shook my head. “I... Well, I am a mess, and I probably have no business asking anyone about their relationships, considering I don’t really know how to maintain one.”
She tilted her head, her gaze on my face. “Why is that?”
“My parents, when they were alive, they doted on me. I was the only girl. The youngest. Desperate to be seen. They poured love on me as much as they could. But they were busy, as active royals should be. So there were lots of nannies and governesses and boarding school and the like. I missed out on some things like the ability to climb into bed with my mom, chats about relationships, and someone to actually talk to.” I shook my head. “I’ve always had my Aunt Rebecca, though she didn’t fill that space completely. She did her best. Was always kind and there for me, even when trying to mold me into the princess I needed to be. It was her duty to ensure I was ready to be Princess London, not just London.”
“That couldn’t have been easy.”
I smiled softly. “No, but it’s hard to complain when there are so many others who have had horrible lives while I’ve been privileged with many parts of mine.”
Sparrow studied my face. “You had your aunt, which I’m thankful for, but what about your brothers? Are you close to them?”
I looked down at my hands, trying to formulate my response. “As much as I love them, I’ve always felt a little separate from my brothers. I’m the last born after three sons. I knew my Mom wanted a daughter. My brother Roman got the bulk of the royal-duty role. Wilder is in intelligence, though he’s also a lovely pianist. Breck... Breck is into tech and the like. You never know what he’ll be up to next, but he’s always had more freedom. And I am... I don’t know. I’ve always sort of felt like the appendage. The jewel, as they called me. The Jewel of Alden. Not expected to say much or have opinions, or generally stand out in any way, I guess.”
Sparrow’s brows knitted. “But you’re beautiful. And if you’re off to the Amazon to take photos, you’re probably talented. I guarantee you’re probably well educated, so you’re smart too.”
“All of those are surface things. My parents loved me. I knew that. My brothers love me as well. I know that too. But I don’t know. I’ve always felt like the forgotten one. Like for anyone to have any kind of deep connection with me just wasn’t going to happen.”
“That can’t feel good. And it sounds like a lonely life.”
I shrugged. “I don’t need pity. My life is good. Better than so many others. I just always feel a little restless, you know? Disconnected. Always looking for that real connection point that anchors me.”
“I know, of course. Everyone wants to feel like that. Everyone wants to have that thing that feels like it belongs to just them. Everyone wants to be seen and appreciated, right?”
“I just wish I could be appreciated for more than my womb.”
Sparrow snorted. “I still can’t believe they’re trying to marry you off to get someone for a line of succession. It’s ridiculous. What about love? And like a real, deep understanding of knowing someone? I mean, do you think your brothers are going to be able to just change the law?”
I sighed. “I don’t really have much choice but to believe in them, right? And to believe in you guys to make sure someone doesn’t kill me before they can get it done. I don’t know. All my life, I haven’t really been special. And I was okay with that. I’ve been looking for a real sense of purpose and grounding for a long time.”
Sparrow nodded. “That’s kind of how I felt when Kannon took me on. It was like all the years of not quite fitting in finally paid off, and suddenly I knew where I belonged.”
“That’s exactly it. You never really know. But soon, hopefully, I’ll be able to get back to my life. Get back to work. Put all this behind me.”
Sparrow smiled softly. “If anyone can make it happen, it’s Kannon.” She closed her laptop and watched me. “What is it that’s going on between you and Kannon?”
My face flushed with heat. “You must be protective of him.”
Sparrow smiled. “I am, but he’s also a grown-ass man. However, I will tell you that even though I wasn’t around when Phoebe died, I know it still sits with him. Some of the others were around, and they’ve told me that thing that he does, not letting anyone in, it used to be much, much worse. This is Kannon 2.0.”
My brows popped. “You’re kidding. It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall.”
“I will tell you
