I blink in surprise at the nastiness of her tone. “I’m not on a short leash,” I say as my phone dings. “I had plans with her. I wouldn’t ditch you or Liss, so why should I ditch her?”
I check my phone for Jessie’s reply. Sorry! Dozed off. Everything ok?
Tears well in my eyes. Everything’s fine. I can come now if you want.
Everyone’s asleep here. Things ok at home?
Yeah. Feel terrible about tonight.
Just glad you’re ok. Talk tomorrow?
Love you, I write, choking on a sob. Jess is the most purely good person I’ve ever met, and I’m a total shithead for tonight.
Love you too.
“Seriously?” Courtney snaps, looking over my shoulder.
I throw my phone down, suddenly furious. “Why do you hate her so much?”
“Whoa!” Courtney says, putting her hands up in defense. “Who said I hated her? I’m just pissed because this is the shit she always pulls. We’ve known Jess a lot longer than you. She even used to be friends with us a million years ago, did she tell you?”
“That’s not the way she remembers it. She said you guys bullied her back in middle school.”
Courtney groans. “Of course she did. She’s so melodramatic. Do you want to hear what really happened?”
I flop down on the couch, my heart throbbing. I don’t really want to sit here and listen to Courtney badmouth Jess, but I do want to fix what’s broken between them. This all seems so stupid, hanging on to petty shit from years ago. I just want everyone to get along so I don’t need to sneak around anymore.
“Look,” Courtney says, offering me a drink as a peace offering, “I know Jessie’s your friend. I get that. She’s nice, and she means well.”
I take the drink and nod at her to continue.
“She’s just not my kind of person. I find her really annoying and clingy, and I can see her getting that way with you and it bugs the shit out of me.”
I raise an eyebrow at her, but she continues before I can object.
“You have to admit that she doesn’t fit in with us,” Courtney says. “She’s too . . . sensitive. She gets offended by the tiniest things, and she blows everything out of proportion. We tried being friends with her in middle school, but she was just such a drag all the time. She used to make us feel guilty about everything. So we started hanging out without her and giving her signs that we didn’t want her around. She wouldn’t take the hint, though, and would still tag along no matter what. So we started to get more and more obvious to push her away.”
“It wasn’t nice, some of it,” Larissa said. “I still regret that. But at the time it seemed like the only way to get through to her.”
“I’m not saying we handled it in the most mature way,” Courtney says with a laugh. “But at the time it seemed nicer than just saying ‘Get lost, we don’t want to be friends with you.’ When she finally clued in, though, she went nuts. She told her mother we were bullying her, and I got hauled into the office with my mom. It was awful. Mom was still depressed about my dad leaving, and she totally lost it on me. I wanted to smack Jess, I was so mad.”
Courtney sets her drink down and gives me a searching look. “I don’t want to be a bitch about someone you like, but I can’t stand her. I haven’t liked her since that day in seventh grade, and I don’t like her now.”
I rub my hands over my face. “You guys are killing me with this drama.”
Courtney shrugs. “I just thought you should hear both sides of the story.”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong or that Jessie’s right. You’re both hurt and pissed off for legit reasons. But people change, Court. Maybe it’s time you gave her another chance.”
Larissa nods, but Courtney shakes her head.
“Just hear me out. I love Jess. Yes, she can be needy and she’s not into some of the things we’re into, like parties or hanging out at the mall—”
“Or basically anything fun,” Courtney interrupts.
I shoot her a look. “But she’s a great friend. She’s loyal and smart and so, so funny.”
I look at their dubious faces. “Listen, I really like you guys and I really like Jess. Life would be a hell of a lot less awkward if you could all try to like each other. You don’t have to be her best friend, or even invite her to parties or anything, but it would mean a lot to me if we could all eat lunch together and play nice.”
Larissa bites her lip and looks at Courtney. “What do you think?”
“Please, Court?” I say. “Give her a chance. Things are different now. It’s not seventh grade anymore.”
“Oh, fine,” Courtney huffs. “I’ll play nice with Jess. But I’m doing this for you, Annie. I don’t like her, but I can be pleasant.”
“Yes!” I squeal as Courtney shoots me an exasperated look.
I settle back on the couch, feeling infinitely better. Maybe tonight worked out for the best. Yes, I missed the sleepover at Jess’s, but I managed to smooth things over with Courtney. Now I just have to work on Jess, but that should be a walk in the park.
Jessie
All I wanted was two more pills. Just two. I didn’t even plan on using them. I just needed to know I had them.
I waited until after dinner to sneak into my parents’ room. Mom was doing dishes, and Dad was on the phone in his home office.
Mom keeps my prescriptions locked in the medicine chest in their bathroom, but I know exactly where she keeps the key.
I tiptoed over to her jewelry box, listening to the noises in the kitchen that told me I was still safe. In the bottom drawer, the lining pulls away, and that’s where she hides the key. I noticed her
