Air whistled from Hudson’s lungs as he struggled to get enough oxygen to survive. The three of them together made magic, but it was a workout. He focused on that because he had never been more frightened of hope. Rocky was here. He talked like he planned to stay, but there were still a thousand things that could go awry. Hudson didn’t want to say anything wrong and ruin their new beginning, so he immersed himself in the passion.
Jinx didn’t seem to share Hudson’s fears. The moment he caught his breath, he demanded more answers. “Does this mean you’re coming home with us? Please say yes. My heart can’t take any more.”
Rocky kissed the tip of Jinx’s nose. “If you two can forgive me, trust me again, and still want me around full time, I want to be there.” He moved to his knees and crawled over Jinx’s body, putting Jinx in the middle where he belonged and where Rocky could hold their stares. “We have some stuff to work out, I get that. I want to share a bed with you every night, but I also need to keep working.” He held up his hand, stopping Hudson from reminding him he didn’t need to work. “It’s not about the money. I actually have quite a bit myself since Zayn has always overpaid me and provided my every need. This is about Zayn and a piece of myself I can’t relinquish. He depends on me. I can’t turn my back on the team I built for him or the friendship he offered me. However, I can move out, go down to working part time, and hand most of my responsibilities off to someone else. I have one request, though.”
“Of course,” Jinx said at the same time as Hudson said, “Anything.”
Rocky smiled. “It’s two requests, really. First, I’d like to bring Cooper with me. He’s young and his life is at an important crossroad right now. If I abandon him, he might decide to run back to the streets. I can’t live with that.”
Hudson didn’t even need to think about it. He had already offered Cooper a place once. “Done. What’s the second request?”
Rocky’s gaze moved between them. He bit his bottom lip, as if scared to speak his thoughts. When he finally answered, he did it fast—like he was afraid his bravery would flee otherwise. “I want that big ceremony handfasting thing you suggested. I want everyone to know you two belong to me.”
Jinx brought Rocky’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “I want that too.”
They both looked his way. Hudson laughed. “I’m the one who suggested it. Of course that’s what I want.”
A smile exploded across Rocky’s face. It quickly bled away as he stared at Hudson. “I’m so sorry for everything. You deserved better from me. I wish you had told me about your condition. That doesn’t make it your fault I didn’t know how to handle a full-blown episode. I just wish I had known and learned how to help before I ruined us.”
“Everyone had their share of blame,” Jinx said, speaking Hudson’s exact thoughts. “I felt vulnerable because I need the security of marriage. My family is gone. I don’t want to be alone in the world. Marriage isn’t important to you, but it is to me, and I should have voiced that instead of being too scared to lose you.”
Hudson jumped in, incapable of letting Jinx carry the weight of everything. “I should’ve been every bit as open with you as I’ve been with Jinx. It’s just hard to admit that my head is a terrifying place. Jinx is easier to talk to about that, but I never meant to shut you out. I just...” Hudson shrugged. He didn’t know how to say he didn’t like being seen as weak.
Rocky looked understanding. His heart was in his eyes. “I can’t even imagine. It has to be completely terrifying to not know when your mind will turn against you. But you need to know I’ll be here when it happens. Jinx will be here when it happens. Most of all, you need to know I can and will force you to stay well. That means taking your meds, going to every doctor’s appointment, and letting us in, even when it’s ugly.”
“Especially when it’s ugly,” Jinx said, sounding firm.
A lump rose in Hudson’s throat. He didn’t know what he had done to be this blessed. “I love you both so fucking much. Please hear that and feel it because I know I’m hard to love back. I know I scare people and make them tired, but please know you own my heart.” Hudson fought the sudden urge to cry. He had lost so many people over the years because every word he said was true. Hudson’s condition exhausted people. He tried really hard to not be a burden, but loving him was work.
Jinx rolled, facing him, and Rocky scooted closer until Jinx was squashed between them. Rocky held them, bringing strength back to their circle. Jinx kissed him. “You’re not hard to love at all. You’ve just been surrounded by weak people.”
Rocky nodded. “Agreed. You can’t lose us. I might have needed time to think, but you never lost me or exhausted me. This is forever. Get comfortable.
