Anders nodded, solemn. “Those are called PBHEs.”
“What?”
“Post-bereavement hallucinatory experiences. It’s the scientific term for . . . never mind.” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
They sat in silence for a few beats and then Piper spoke up again: “Have you ever read The Phantom Tollbooth?”
“No.”
“It was one of Tom’s favorite books as a kid. I never really got the appeal, but there’s this one line that says: ‘If something is there, you can only see it with your eyes open, but if it isn’t there, you can see it just as well with your eyes closed. That’s why imaginary things are often easier to see than real ones.’”
She felt Anders’s eyes on her, and then he, too, turned to look out over the water, and they sat like that, side by side, in silence, watching the sun drop closer to the horizon.
Finally, Anders broke the silence. “So who was that guy on the boat?”
Piper took a deep breath and exhaled. “Jacob. He’s a real estate developer.”
Anders continued to look at her, his eyebrows raised, waiting.
“Back in October he came to the island with all these ideas to boost tourism and use the money to rebuild our infrastructure. He wasn’t the first—we’ve had so many people come over the years to peddle their ideas to ‘save’ us. They all want to build high-end resorts or waterparks or, one time, a casino.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Anders held up his hands to slow Piper and try to process what she was saying. “Why would somebody want to build anything on an island that is purportedly sinking? Doesn’t sound like a very sound business decision.”
She paused. “I thought you understood.”
“Understood what?”
“The island can be saved.”
“What?”
“Or at least protected. That was the conclusion of my mom’s study—we can’t stop climate change, but we can build jetties from bargeloads of sand and get taller, stronger bulkheads and create ripraps, which are basically rock walls that can shield the island on its most vulnerable sides from storm surges and wind to help prevent erosion.”
“But I thought the Army Corps said it was a waste of money.”
“Well, they think it is, because to them we’re just ninety crazy people that could solve all of our problems by moving to the mainland. They don’t think we’re worth saving. But all developers see is a big dollar sign. This island could be here for eighty or a hundred more years—that’s plenty of time to get a return on their investment and then some.”
“And that’s what this guy—Jacob—wants to do?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but he’s different than the other investors. Or at least Tom thought he was. That he would work with us and let us have a say in the changes that were made. And that Jacob’s motives were more altruistic than selfish. I told him he was crazy—at that meeting everyone made it clear that they didn’t trust him—and I thought that was the end of it. But then I found out Tom had secretly kept meeting with him. We fought about it.” She paused, not trusting her voice, but also compelled to finally say it out loud. “The night before he died.”
She took a deep breath and continued. “I thought it was a social death wish, going behind everyone’s back to work with this stranger. I was terrified everyone would be furious when they found out. I accused him of . . . only caring about himself.” Piper inwardly cringed, thinking of the last words she’d said to her husband. “And then he . . . died. He was gone, just like that.” She waited a few beats for her voice to steady once again. “I forgot all about the developer, until one day, out of the blue, he called. He hadn’t heard what had happened to Tom, even though it was all over the paper. And when he asked for him . . . well, it brought the entire night screaming back to me, and I decided right then and there that I would pick up where Tom left off. If it meant that much to him, it was the least I could do. And maybe, somehow, that would be enough.”
“Enough for what?” Anders asked.
She hesitated and then: “For him to forgive me.” She was silent for a beat. “But I don’t think I can go through with it.”
“What? Why?”
“People are going to be furious. I’ve gone through every single idea Jacob has, decided which ones I could convince people to accept and which ones would be a flat-out no—like serving alcohol at the One-Eyed Crab. But the truth is, I don’t think it matters. They’re not going to trust him and they’re going to be furious with me for going behind their backs and nothing is going to change—except the only place I love, the people that are my family, will never forgive me.”
Anders looked at her. “I get that I’m new here, but even I can see that everyone loves you. Of course they’ll forgive you.”
Piper pressed her lips together and just shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.
In a quieter voice, Anders said: “And I didn’t know Tom at all, but I don’t have to know him to tell you he already did.”
“Why do you think that?” Piper asked, her voice small. The tears in her eyes escaped down her cheeks, as she remembered that last morning when she was still angry at Tom and refused to get up to walk him to the docks. What if she had? She’d thought it a million times. Would it have changed anything that day? Logically, she knew it probably wouldn’t have, but what she wouldn’t give to have had those last few moments with him.
“Well, you’ve single-handedly humiliated me on a number of occasions and I’ve forgiven you.”
“You have?” She reached up to dry her face with the back of her hand.
Anders nodded. “Piper Parrish, you are eminently forgivable.”
—
Anders wasn’t prone to pacing, but if a passerby were
