Justin touched his finger to the security panel next to his cabin’s hatch and went through as it popped open. He set his tablet catty-corner on the table without bothering to change and engaged the camera function. After confirming the device was recording, he began. “Hey, baby. I’ve gotten into this habit of recording a video for you and Margaret before I go into a particularly risky mission.” He bit his lip. “Not sure how I got it started, but it's something I’ve done for several months now. If you get this, I perished in the line of duty.” How antiseptic the words sounded when put like that.
“Know that I volunteered for the assignment because I thought I could make a difference. Because the Terran Coalition must win. If we don’t, a darkness unlike any the human race has faced will swallow us. It’s my duty to act as if I’m the only thing standing between us and them.” Justin forced a smile to his face. “I love you. I love Margaret. I love our son, who, if you get this, I will never know.”
Tears began to stream from his eyes. “This holo is different, though. You see, I’ve made a change recently. I did something stupid, Michelle. I… Well, what I did doesn’t matter now. This war, it’s eating me alive. My friends keep dying, and any day, my number could be up. We go into space knowing there’s a decent chance today’s our day.” He sniffed and wiped his face. “After what I did, I ended up going someplace I never thought I would. The chapel. Yes, that’s right. Your husband talked to a pastor.
“There’s gotta be something more, Chelle. I’ve reached that conclusion. It gives me some kind of solace. And the idea that if I die, maybe I’ll see you and the kids again sustains me in this fight. In case you’re wondering, I haven’t yet accepted Jesus as my savior. I’m still pondering that and everything it entails. But if you get this, please, pray for my soul.” Justin gulped. “Okay. I’ve got to get some rest and get up bright and early tomorrow for this mission. I love you. Give my best to Margaret, and tell her I fought for something worth dying for and that I regret I couldn’t do more. Godspeed.”
Justin touched the tablet and turned off the recording before wiping away the tears on his uniform sleeve. A few moments later, he’d stripped off his uniform and climbed into bed. Staring at the overhead in his bunk, he dreaded the next day and more than that, the torment of sleep. The faces and memories of friends lost never gave him a moment’s rest. Justin thought about praying, but his heart wasn’t in it, and so he turned onto his side and closed his eyes.
15
Justin woke forty-five minutes before his alarm after barely getting four hours of sleep. He’d tossed and turned all night, thanks to the nightmares that still plagued him. As he stared at the overhead, he pondered the hours to come. Deciding there was no point in attempting to force more sleep, especially when the day was soon to start, Justin climbed out of bed.
The morning passed in a blur as Justin went through his usual workout, showered, and ate a light breakfast. Once he’d completed the mundane tasks, he reported to the Red Tails ready room in his flight suit, to find it empty except for one man—Major Whatley. As Justin pushed the hatch open, he came to attention upon seeing the CAG.
“At ease, Spencer.” Whatley pointed at one of the leather chairs. “I assume you were coming by to check your flight plan one last time.”
“Yes, sir.” Justin pursed his lips as he walked across the room and sat down. “I double-checked the micro-QET launcher already. Amazing what the spooks have at their disposal.”
“Quite.” Whatley took a seat next to him. “I wish I were going with you on this one, son.”
Justin felt touched by the hint of concern the CAG’s words held. “Thank you, sir. You’ve trained us well.”
“Have you ever flown in a nebula before?”
“Only in sims.”
Whatley snorted. “Listen, it’s beyond anything else you’ve done. Sensors won’t work right. Shields will be disrupted by the high-energy photons present and won’t protect you as well. This is not an environment ships or people are designed to thrive in. Do you get me?”
“I do, sir. Get in, tag the pirates, get out. Contact the Greengold.”
“Exactly.” Whatley nodded. “Meanwhile, we’ll be patrolling the systems in range and hoping to get lucky. You could be out there a while. Ghosts are rated for forty-eight hours’ endurance.”
Justin grimaced. “I know. There’s plenty of water and k-rats in there. Those so-called nutrition bars are disgusting.”
“So is getting blown apart by a freaking pirate. Remember to hook up your waste tube into the bladder and jettison it if you’re in there a while.”
“Yes, sir.” Justin chuckled. “Well, I guess I’d better strap in, sir. Launch in thirty minutes.” He stood.
Whatley rose as well. “Take care of yourself out there. I’ll have the other Ghost ready to support you, just in case.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Dismissed, Captain.”
Justin turned to go and took a few steps toward the hangar before Whatley’s voice rang out.
“One last thing, Spencer.” Whatley stood at crisp attention.
“Sir?”
“Godspeed, son.”
“Godspeed to you, too, sir.” Justin straightened as tight as a board before turning on his heel and crossing the distance to the flight deck in record time. He didn’t want Whatley to see the emotion on his face. Once outside the ready room and striding through the busy hangar, Justin paused to retrieve his flight helmet from the numbered Red Tails lockers. From there, it was a short distance to the SFS-4 Ghost.
I never thought I’d fly another one of these things. Justin
