Feldstein tilted her head. “Perhaps, though I’ll admit not seeing you except in groups of other people made me feel like I’d lost my best friend.”
He could feel the pain and hurt in her voice anew. “I’m sorry. Look, I—”
“Justin, it’s okay,” Feldstein interjected. “I’m okay now. It just took some getting used to.” She sucked in a breath. “Robert put in for compassionate liberty to be taken the next time I get some. We’re going to try to meet up and see if we can salvage something of our relationship.”
“That’s good.” I didn’t realize they were that far on the rocks. Then again, what almost happened wouldn’t have if… If what? I was—am—happy with Michelle, and I almost did something horrible.
“How are you doing?”
“Oh, staying busy.” Justin flashed a grin. “Michelle’s expecting. A boy.”
For a moment, Feldstein was silent. She smiled. “Yours?”
Justin sputtered then burst out laughing. “Very funny.”
“I try.”
“She’s due in a few months.”
Feldstein looked away, staring into the back of the room. “I’m glad for you two.” She bit her lip. “I’ll probably be too messed up by the end of this to be a mother anyway.”
“Dvora, what’s wrong?”
“It’s been a year, Justin.” Her eyes locked with his, though she stood two meters away. “We’ve lost almost forty pilots in that year. It’s a miracle the butcher’s bill hasn’t included you or me, Adeoye, or Mateus. Sooner or later, our names will be up.”
“We don’t know that. The war could end tomorrow, if the League gets tired of its losses and pulls out. Or we’ll reach the end of our tours of duty and rotate to a training command. There’s no dishonor in that.”
Tears shone in Feldstein’s eyes, and she began to weep bitterly, sobs wrenching through her body.
Justin sprang up, crossed the distance between them in two steps, and embraced her. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
“Part of me wishes it’ll be me,” she whispered, voice cracking. “At least I wouldn’t have to see another friend die.” Feldstein stepped back and dried her tears with the cuff of her uniform sleeve. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“The war,” Justin replied. “It gets the better of everyone eventually.” He sucked in a breath. Time to change the subject before we get too close again. Justin found his heart going out to her.
“You’re different lately.”
Justin raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“There’s something about you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, though I did see you go into the chapel a few times.” She pursed her lips as she stared at him. “At the risk of sounding coy, did you find God?”
After a long pause, Justin shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe He found me. I haven’t decided what I believe yet except that… well, reading the Bible brings me some comfort, and I think I’ve opened my mind to the possibility of something more beyond this life.”
“I’m so glad for you.” Feldstein sucked in a breath. “I’d better get out of here. Time for a shower and some comfort food.”
“Hey, wait up. CAG told me I have to address the…” Justin searched for words that didn’t highlight the death of his friend Lieutenant Martin. “Opening in the Winged Lightning squadron. I noticed you qualified in Maulers a few years ago but transferred to a space-superiority squadron.”
Feldstein’s face contorted, and it appeared for a moment as if she would burst into tears again. “Justin, do you want me off the Red Tails?”
Justin’s jaw dropped, and he blinked. “Of course not.”
“Then why even bring it up?”
“Because the CAG wants me to fill it, and you’re one of two candidates.” Good grief, I stepped in it this time.
She took a step closer. “You’ve saved my life more times than I can count. And I’ve done the same for you. So with respect, sir, unless you don’t want me as your wingman anymore, I want to stay with the Red Tails.”
Justin could feel the intensity of her words as they almost seemed to flow through him. “If you want to stay, then I’ll assign Martin’s XO to take his place.”
“Good.” Feldstein gave a curt nod. “Look, quit beating yourself up about that night. We didn’t do anything. You’re a good man, Justin. I know that, and letting guilt get in the way will only get you killed when we start flying combat sorties again. I’m not losing you too.”
“Okay. I’d better get back to this mountain of paperwork.” Justin forced a grin.
“You do that.” As she walked toward the hatch, Feldstein turned back. “Take care of yourself, Justin.”
After she was gone, Justin picked up the tablet he’d been working on and stared at it for some time, taking no action to turn the device on. I have to figure out how to move on without hurting Dvora’s feelings, keep the unit intact, and do my job. It bothered him to no end that a single moment of weakness could cause so much fallout months later. If Michelle finds out, she’ll kill me.
CSV Zvika Greengold
High Loop Parking Orbit—Canaan
14 August 2434
All replacement pilots were aboard along with provisions, supplies, and munitions. The Greengold was as ready to fight as she ever had been. Tehrani spent her morning preparing for departure and ensured she was present at the Salat al-fajr prayer service held at dawn. To keep things simple on the ship, the imam issued the call to prayer at 0600. With the last engineering checks completed, they were finally ready to depart a few minutes before 0800.
“Hangar deck reports all craft secured by grav-arrestor fields. All systems nominal,” Wright said from his seat directly beside her. “All other departments confirm readiness, ma’am.”
Once more unto the breach, we go. Tehrani tilted her head slightly. “Excellent, XO. Navigation, secure all umbilicals.”
“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Second Lieutenant Leah Mitzner, the first watch navigation officer, replied. “All
