“Oh yeah, that disappearing shimmer thing she does,” I said, nodding. I wanted to sound cool, like I wasn’t wondering if Rali was just waiting to spring some murder accusations on me, but it came off more like a brownnoser who would say anything to agree. I dialed it back and shrugged. “Well, you beat Kest’s guess. She didn’t think your seclusion would last more than a day.”
“To be honest, I was checking up on you guys,” Rali said. He looked from Warcry to me, the lace in his eyes shifting in a way I couldn’t put my finger on.
Here we go. I started to take a step back, but stopped myself and shoved my fists down in my pockets.
But instead of saying, “You’re a murderer,” Rali said, “You’re in terrible shape, Hake. Why didn’t you come get me? Your Spirit rivers in your left side are all blocked and twisted. If you leave it, it’ll just keep getting worse.”
“You—you were busy,” I stuttered, trying to get my brain off the defensive. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Helping my friends is never a bother to me, Hake. It’s one of my favorite things to do.”
Oh, so we’re friends now that you’re bored of being alone, some mean part of my brain sneered.
“Anyway, I was going to go to the healer,” I said out loud. “When I got time. They’re full practically around the clock.”
Rali flicked his shaggy hair out of his face. “Do you have time right now? I can work on your side.”
“Uh.” My next fight wasn’t until morning, so I didn’t have any excuses. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Great,” he said, brightening up. “You guys aren’t allowed in my room, according to Biggerstaff’s arbitrary lodging rules, so we’ll have to use yours. If you don’t want to just lay down here in the hall, that is.”
“Meet you lads up there,” Warcry said, backing toward the Smoking Dragon. “I need to refill me Deep Night.”
Rali frowned. “You’re having bad dreams, too?”
Except he said it under his breath like he hadn’t meant for either of us to hear it.
Warcry stopped dead in his tracks. “What’d ya say, big man?”
“Nothing,” Rali said in a hurry. “Probably just the extra concentration of Death Spirit here in Bogland.” He nodded at me, like he was trying to throw the attention off himself. “The Death cultivator probably loves it here.”
“I do love the smell of Miasma in the morning.” Like all my other Earth references, that one didn’t get a laugh.
Warcry ducked into the distillery, and Rali and I headed for the elevators.
Half of my brain was racing for some kind of excuse or distraction to keep Rali from bringing up me killing that Ylef, and the other half was cruising for a fight, ready to shove what I’d done in his face and see if it started anything. But the elevators were full when we got on, so I kept my mouth shut until we got to my room.
“Hey, so—” I started, holding the door for Rali.
But at the same second, he was like, “I don’t want to talk about it right now, Hake. Just give me some more time, okay?”
“So you can what? Get more pissed at me? See if I turn evil like your sword legend bad guys?” I threw my hands up. “That Ylef’s not going to get any less dead. That’s what you’re mad about, right?”
“That’s what you’re mad about,” he said in this infuriatingly calm voice.
“I’m not mad!” I slammed the door.
Over in the corner, Sushi yelped and disappeared in a shimmer of purple and white scales.
Rali’s eyebrows rose. “I also yell when I’m not mad.”
I dragged my hands through my hair.
“He was going to kill me,” I said.
“I know.”
“No, you don’t! You weren’t there! I didn’t have time to think, I just reacted!” I gave the bedside table a kick and dropped onto the bed with my head in my hands. “No, that’s not true. He had some kind of protection around his life point. I had time to think about what I was doing. Hungry Ghost showed me how to dismantle the wall, but I was the one who did it. I took it apart on purpose, and I killed him.”
The easy chair over in the corner creaked as Rali sat in it. He didn’t say anything, just sat there.
When I looked up, he didn’t look disgusted or mad, just tired.
“You didn’t even need Death Spirit where you came from, did you?” he said. “It was completely different.”
It felt like my jaw was going to crack, but I couldn’t pry it apart to say anything, so I just nodded.
The corners of Rali’s mouth curved up, but he didn’t look any happier.
“If this life is all an illusion, I shouldn’t care.” He shook his head. “I just can’t stop.”
“Also, I made out with your sister,” I muttered.
Rali rolled his eyes. “Who could’ve seen that coming?”
“Are you mad?” I asked.
“Why should I be? Kest likes you, so she’s probably really happy.” He cocked his head at me. “Unless you mean, am I mad it’s you.”
“A killer playing tonsil hockey with your sister.” My stomach turned talking about Kest like that, and part of my brain wondered if this was what every douchebag felt like when they spouted that kind of crap but they were just really good at covering it up. “That doesn’t bother you?”
“Are you actually asking or are you trying to provoke me?” he said. “What are you doing, Death cultivator? You’re avoiding healing yourself, fighting with your friends, and you look like you haven’t slept in a year.”
I glanced up at him. “Are we really still friends?”
Rali laughed. “Just because you make me reconsider the whole nonviolence thing occasionally doesn’t mean I hate you. Friends don’t have to agree all the time.”
A little bit of the tension ran out of my shoulders.
“Sorry I said that about Kest and tonsil hockey. That was gross.”
“Tell me about it,” Rali said. He stood
