Though we often talked during those years, she usually kept her designs hidden, even from me—except for one small occasion on which she said something that came back into my mind many times in the years to come. “You know, Lacquer Nail,” she said, “I have told you of the need for change, and that change must come only when the time is ready.”
“Yes, my lady,” I said.
“But our history is so long that if we study it, we shall discover that nothing is new. It may seem new, but it isn’t. Therefore, we can usually foretell, in a general way, what is to come.” I’m sure she meant me to remember that.
But what her plans for the future were, or whether she had even worked them out in detail, I did not discover.
At the same time, the clouds were darkening. Japan and Russia went to war. Japan smashed the Russians, took over most of their Manchurian lands, and now dominated the Korean peninsula as well. The emperor’s health was deteriorating, and so was Cixi’s. She suffered a slight stroke. Her face drooped a little on one side. Her mental acuity, however, as far as I could judge, remained as sharp as ever. And I wondered: What was the plan for the empire?
—
I knew that the Empress Cixi was ready to die before she did herself. She hadn’t been well for some time, but she had remarkable powers of recovery. Above all, she had a will of iron. It was only when her will began to falter that I knew she was on the way out.
It began one morning when I was doing her nails. She was looking downcast. If there had been anyone else in the room, I wouldn’t have said a word, because you must never imply that a ruler has any weakness. But we were all by ourselves.
“You look sad today, Majesty,” I said.
“I am, Lacquer Nail,” she answered me. “I feel very disappointed with my life.”
“You’ve had the most remarkable career of any woman in history,” I told her.
“Perhaps,” she said. “And yet I have failed. At first I thought I had succeeded. I had given the emperor a son. What greater thing could a woman do for the Celestial Kingdom or for her own family? I had to fight for him. I was nearly killed. But my son became emperor.” She sighed. “But to what end? He was not fit to rule. I blamed myself.”
“It was not your fault, my lady,” I said. “His father hardly helped.”
“All the men in my life have been weak. But I hoped that my stronger blood…”
“Your blood is very strong,” I said.
“Is it? I thought so. That is why I chose Prince Chun’s son to succeed, when there were other candidates. Because his mother was my sister. He seemed more promising. Yet when he finally came to power, what did he do? Tried to overturn four thousand years of history—overnight! He was a fool.”
“One needs a sense of timing,” I agreed.
“There, Lacquer Nail,” she cried. “You, a poor eunuch, would have done better.”
Yes, I thought, but I had to fight for my life, and so did you. That’s how one learns. I didn’t say it, of course.
There was a long pause after that. I put some finishing touches on her nails.
“I am tired, Lacquer Nail,” she said at last. “I know the world must change. But I don’t want to live in it. I don’t want to live in a world with trains and people’s assemblies.”
“Your body and mind are strong,” I said.
“The Mandate of Heaven is being withdrawn,” she went on quietly.
Now that really knocked me sideways. To be exact, I froze. I had her hand in mine at that moment and I didn’t dare make even the tiniest motion, in case it should be interpreted as any kind of comment.
What did she mean? That the dynasty was coming to an end? Or did she mean that her own life was ebbing away? I thought it was just herself she meant.
But then, when she spoke the next words, I wasn’t so sure. “After I die, Lacquer Nail, what will happen?”
“The emperor will rule, I suppose,” I ventured.
She didn’t say anything. Not a word.
I got up and made ready to leave.
“General Yuan thinks the emperor will have him killed,” she said.
“Oh,” I said. “I never heard the emperor say that,” I added.
“The emperor may not like General Yuan,” she went on quietly, “but that is not the point. He is by far the best general we have at present, and the army follows him.”
She was right about that. Killing Yuan would be really stupid. I was pretty sure what she wanted me to say next. “Perhaps I might pay a visit to the emperor, to see how he is,” I said.
“That is a good idea, Lacquer Nail,” she answered. “I have been concerned about his health lately.”
Well, I had just reached the anteroom when whom should I see but General Yuan, waiting for an audience with Cixi.
He was a gruff, bluff man, not tall, but round as a barrel, with a huge grey mustache like a water buffalo’s horns. He was quite frightening, really, but he was always friendly with me. I bowed low.
“Where are you off to, Lacquer Nail?” he asked.
“I thought
