“I get you have amnesia,” she said when I’d finished. “I get you don’t remember me. I mean, I don’t understand but...you know. What I don’t get is why you lied about who you are.”
“I wish I knew,” I said. “I honestly wish I had all the answers we’re looking for... After we saw you in the street earlier, Maya told me how you found me with an old Facebook photo.”
“After you saw me in the street?” Lily said, her eyebrows darting upward. “She didn’t tell you before?”
“She didn’t connect the dots,” I said.
Lily looked like she was going to argue the point but instead she paused and changed the subject. I listened as she talked about her trip to Newdale, took in how she gesticulated with her hands for emphasis, tucked the same lock of stray hair behind her ear, her heart-pendant bracelet twinkling in the moonlight as she did so.
“I need to ask you something,” she said. “And I want you to be honest. Promise?”
“I promise I will if I know the answer.”
“That’s fair... All right, here goes. You need time to work things through, so do you think it’s a good idea for me to stay in Newdale?”
I looked at her and hesitated, not because I didn’t know what to say, but because I wanted it to be the answer she was hoping for. Maya had said Lily seemed glad I was out when she came to the house this afternoon. Did that mean she was wishing for a get-out-of-jail-free card, a way to absolve herself from our relationship so she could go home, put all this behind her and continue with a less complicated life? Or did she want to stay?
“Ash? Can you please tell me what you think?”
“Selfishly, yes, I want you to stay. Unless you don’t want to, or they need you at work—”
“Actually, I got laid off earlier.” She shrugged. “Life can really suck, can’t it?”
“Was it because of me? Because you came here?”
Lily gave a dismissive wave. “Mike knew—” She must’ve caught my clueless expression because she stopped and said, “Mike’s my boss. I work at a garage. The place folded.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Two weeks ago, I’d have been devastated. Now, the only thing that matters—” she gave a small shrug “—is you.”
I was about to answer when a man across the street caught my eye. Tall, wide, red hair. Keenan. Jesus Christ, the last thing I needed was for a fight to erupt on the genteel streets of Newdale, or for Lily to see me get into fisticuffs with my neighbor. Thankfully, he disappeared into the bar, but when I turned my head, Lily was eyeing me, frowning.
“Someone you know?” she said.
“A guy called Keenan and let’s just say he’s not my number one fan.”
“That’s Keenan?”
“You know him?”
“Of him. I met his sister Fiona. She runs the motel where I’m staying. The Harbor Inn? She mentioned you two don’t get along. Something to do with their sister?”
“Celine,” I said, and when she nodded, I let out a breath. I must have told Lily about my high-school sweetheart, which had to count for something, surely, but then she continued.
“Fiona said it’s also because he dated your girlfriend Kate before you got together.” She lowered her voice. “You never mentioned them in all the time I’ve known you. Just like you never told me about Maya, either.”
My head felt as if I’d stuck it inside a wind tunnel, all the words flying past at warp speed, none of them making it into my brain properly. I tried to process what she’d said. The music from the bar seemed to have increased tenfold, my messed-up brain incapable of separating or dealing with all the sounds and words and meanings. Lily must have made a mistake. Maybe she’d forgotten I’d ever mentioned Celine or Kate. Besides, wasn’t it normal for most people to keep relatively schtum about their exes? Except Celine had left, Kate had died, Keenan blamed me for both and I’d told Lily exactly zip about it all. And all that on top of never mentioning my stepsister. What the hell was wrong with me?
I felt my pulse racing in the side of my head, blood thundering in my ears. I’d gone out searching for answers but ended up worse off than before. It was late, I was tired, exhausted, actually, as the entire weight of the situation sank onto my shoulders like a couple of giant boulders.
“I should go,” I said.
“Shit. I’ve upset you—”
“No, it’s fine, but I should get back. Get some rest.”
“Can I still come by tomorrow morning?” she said quickly. “If you need to rearrange you can call the motel, or I gave Maya my number...”
Her voice sounded desperate, but as rude and cowardly as it was, I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to deal with it. That wasn’t the only thing, I realized, as I stood up. Another reason for leaving Lily there on the bench was because I didn’t want to have one of my angry outbursts in front of her. I didn’t want to disappoint her. “Of course. I’ll see you then,” I said, giving her a brief wave before walking away, back to the relative safety of the car.
The drive home took a lot less time than it should have, and when I got back to the house, I prepared to creep back upstairs. Impossible, because the
