I’ve decided to be completely honest with him, about everything. It’s what I should’ve done from the start. If I’d told him how I felt about him when we met, none of this would’ve happened. He’d have seen we were made for each other, so now I’m making up for that. He remembers what happened to Celine, and today’s the day I’m telling him about Kate.
“She came looking for me at the house that night,” I say as I shave his beard after securing his hands and feet to the chair. “She pretended she was out for one of her runs, which was a total lie. I knew she’d waited until she saw you leave, I’d spotted her jacket beyond the tree line. She wanted to convince me not to tell you about her sleeping with Keenan and when I refused she stomped off. I followed her along the cliffs, told her the only way I wouldn’t say anything was if she broke things off with you.”
“You...pushed...her,” Ash says, the effort of talking making his voice faint and raspy. I wish I could ease up on the benzos, but when I tried cutting down, he became agitated and aggressive, something he thinks I bring out in him, which really pisses me off.
“I didn’t mean for her to fall, I didn’t think we were that close to the edge, but it served her right. You said you might forgive her for cheating on you.” I shake my head. “I couldn’t let you marry her, but when she died you blamed yourself. You said it was penance for what we’d done to Celine. You thought you didn’t have the right to be happy, and it broke my heart. But when I told you the truth, when I explained what happened to take away your guilt and your pain, I woke up the next day and you’d left Newdale. You’d left me.”
“Because...you’re...a...monster,” he whispers. “We both...are.”
I smile, and as I stroke his cheek he tries to move his head away, so I put my thumb and index finger under his chin, forcing him to look at me. “We belong together,” I say. “And I understand now. You could’ve told the police about what I did to Kate, but you didn’t, not even after you left, because you knew I could tell them about Celine. You protected us, just like you promised, because you love me. Tell me you love me, Ash. Help make all this better.”
He closes his eyes, tries to move away again, and I sigh. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about Kate, he wasn’t ready after all, but eventually he’ll come around. He’ll see what I’m doing—what I’ve always done—is the best thing for him. For us. I’ve known since I was twelve years old that we’re destined to be together. For now, it might not be the fairy tale I’d imagined, but I’ve been patient for sixteen years and I’ll do the same for another sixteen if I must. Because it will happen. And when it does, I already know he’ll be worth the wait.
ACKNOWLEGMENTS
The acknowledgments section has quickly become one of my favorite parts of novel writing. Not because it means I’ve finished another book, although that’s a stellar feeling, too, but because it’s an immense pleasure and privilege to put together a list of wonderful people to whom my infinite gratitude extends.
Let’s start with you, the reader. Whether you deal with books in a professional capacity, review them for fun, or simply enjoy novels during your commute or while curled up on your sofa, thank you for picking this one up, and for letting me take you into my fictional world. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Huge shout-outs to the amazing social media and #bookstagram communities who spread book love with infectious enthusiasm and boundless originality. Your friendship and support are precious gifts.
To Carolyn Forde, my savvy, all-round kick-ass agent—thank you for your support and for being in my corner. I wonder what our next adventure might be. To Emily Ohanjanians, my incredible editor, whose insight and knack for making manuscripts shine is astonishing—I couldn’t be more grateful to you, or proud of what we’ve accomplished thus far.
To the wonderful Harlequin, HarperCollins and MIRA teams, including Cory Beatty, Peter Borcsok, Nicole Brebner, Audrey Bresar, Randy Chan, Jennifer Choi, Heather Connor, Lia Ferrone, Emer Flounders, Heather Foy, Olivia Gissing, Miranda Indrigo, Amy Jones, Roxanne Jones, Sean Kapitain, Linette Kim, Karen Ma, Ashley MacDonald, Leo MacDonald, Margaret Marbury, Lucille Miranda, Leah Mol, Lauren Morocco, Lindsey Reeder, Loriana Sacilotto, Elita Sidiropoulou, Alice Tibbetts, Kaitlyn Vincent and colleagues: you are incredible. Thank you for everything you do.
Huge thanks to HarperAudio, BeeAudio and the brilliant performers who bring my words to life with such grace and enthusiasm, making them their own. Special thanks to Lauren Ezzo and Alex Wyndham, my go-to narrating gurus who blow my mind each time I listen to their work, and to Melissa Moran for completing the brilliant trio. To Brad and Britney at AudioShelf—you know how you crack me up. Keep on doing your fab videos!
The generosity of those who take time out of their busy lives to answer my (weird and wicked) questions always astounds me, and I’m surprised none of you have turned me in to the cops yet. Special thanks to cool A.F. Brady and Sharon Guger for their medical expertise (and to A.F. for reading the first dodgy version of this book), Mary Randall for her library insights and local knowledge of Maine, and fellow author Bruce Robert Coffin for
