“Ooh, theater guys are sensitive!”
“He's the lead in the musical.”
“So he's talented and sensitive! Oh, that's the best kind.”
“I feel like I could say he's a drug addict and you'd still be supportive.”
“Well, maybe if he's a sensitive drug addict. So are you guys serious?? Do you loooove him?”
“Ew, no, I don't love people. I'm a statue.”
“You have to bring him down for a visit!” she says. “We can double.”
It's weird that this is the moment, but it is. The moment I realize how much the world is set up for couples. It's not like I hadn't thought about the big things—how marriage would work (not that I'm actually thinking about marrying anyone for an extremely long time, because like I said, ew) how you raise kids (ditto), how you explain it to your parents or how you make out, and how you schedule your time. But I hadn't thought about this tiny thing.
Double dating, cars with two seats, couples skate time at the ice rink.
And it's not exactly a difficult math problem to figure out who would be the one left out. I'm the new one. I'm the one who has no idea if she's allowed to take her boyfriend on a road trip without the other girlfriend.
I'm the one with no idea who says if things are allowed.
And every sentence is me trying to tell Aanya, and it all just gets stuck in my nose and throat or something.
So I say, “You know, like, open relationships?”
“Oh, so you aren't exclusive yet?”
Ugh. I feel dirty as hell letting her believe that that's the future we're aiming for.
But this is what she will understand.
So I just say, “Yeah. We're not even sure we want to get to an exclusive place.”
Now she pauses. “I guess it makes sense if he's a senior. You don't want to put all your eggs in some graduating basket or whatever.”
“Yeah.”
“And he doesn't want you to do that either.” She sighs, with this flutter. “It's all so very sensitive.. You're so lucky. I bet he doesn't hang out with stupid country cousins.”
The next day after school, Theo takes to the diner where I went with him and Josey a million years ago, because I need milkshakes after swim practice. “You have to order a ton of food,” I say. “Because I'm going to order a ton of food.”
“Awesome.”
“I'm going to order so much food that I'm gonna help pay for it because otherwise this is ridiculous.”
He laughs. “Are you offering because you actually want to pay or because you're hoping I'll say you don't have to.”
“Definitely the second one.”
“You can pay the tip.”
“You trickster.” Ugh, Taylor, who says trickster?
We order, and I say, “So how's the show?”
“I think it's gonna be really good!” he says. “The girl who plays Adelaide, Alea, is kind of just okay, but the girl playing Sarah is really good, and she's been passed over every year since she wasn't a senior, so it's exciting that she's finally getting a lead. And also her name is Sarah and she's playing Sarah, so that's fun.”
“That's my mom's name.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep, and my middle name.”
He picks his hands up for the waiter to set down our massive amounts of food, then says, “You know what? I know, like, nothing about you.”
“I know, right? It's weird.”
“All right,” he says, “So we trade off. One thing we don't know about each other. You first.”
“I just did my middle name!”
“Boring.”
“Jerk. Uh...okay. This is the first time I've ever had a house.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. Apartments my whole life. But my best friend from home has a huge house and I spent a lot of time there.”
“Who's your best friend?”
“Aanya, I've talked about her.”
“Oh, right, a little.”
I'm the worst. Who talks about her best friend a little?
“Your turn,” I say.
“I'm ambidextrous.”
“That's pretty cool.”
“Useful when I broke my arm a few years ago. Now you.”
“I've read all the Harry Potter books at least fifteen times each.”
“Eh, who hasn't.” God, I like him. “So remember when I said I broke my arm?” he says.
“I do, yes.”
“Fell off a trapeze..”
“What!”
“Yeah, I mean, there was a net right under me, so I only fell like eight feet. But I landed right on my wrist. Snap.”
“Ouch.”
“So you went to space camp, but I went to circus camp,” he says.
“Successful career tracks for all. These fries are amazing.”
“Right?” He steals one of mine, even though he has a whole plate of his own. “So are you pretty much consumed with the wedding right now?”
“Pretty much. Wedding and not thinking about college are at the forefront of my mind.”
“Ughh, college.”
“Okay, but you have to have some idea what you're doing, right?”
He shrugs and doesn't really un-shrug. “I applied to a bunch of places in-state. I don't know where I'll get in. There's this whole senior college visits thing at the beginning of winter break, I might go on that, I don't know.”
“Did you apply to Miami?”
“Yep.”
“That's probably where I'm gonna go,” I say. “My mom went there, and it's where I've always pictured myself.”
“That's like Josey,” he says, but he doesn't elaborate, but it still feels like I just swallowed a rock with my milkshake. I wasn't thinking about her. For a minute I'd forgotten about her.
Am I allowed to forget about her?
Does he mean she's going to go to Miami? I don't want her to go to Miami.
Probably not a good sign that I don't want her to go to Miami.
God, what am I doing?
Theo's still talking.“So, having the same name as Taylor Swift,
