“Uh?”
I open my eyes. Just outside our scoreboard cave, looking at me over Theo's shoulder, eyebrows up, is Lucas.
So, or not on that 'going extremely right' concept.
I scramble up and climb over Theo like he's a piece of furniture because I'm nothing but charming when I'm flustered. “What are you doing here?” I say.
Lucas says, “I was taking Lexie to get a snow cone and I saw you come over here, and then I got back to the stands and you were still over here so I wanted to see if you were looking for something or...why am I explaining this to you? It's not like I barged in on you in a locked room.”
Theo gets to his feet and puts his hand on my shoulder. “You want me to...?”
I say, “No, let me talk to him, I'll catch up with you soon.”
“All right.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Good luck with this.”
“Yeah.”
Lucas watches him go. “So do you only make out with him in awkward places, or is anywhere okay.”
“Lucas...”
“I thought you were friends with his girlfriend.”
“I am.”
“Uh, not a very good friend.”
“It's not like that, I say.”
“He and her aren't dating anymore?” he says.
“No, they are.”
“So you and him weren't back here all...disheveling?”
I straighten my sweatshirt. “That's not even a word.”
“Pretty sure it is.”
“Look,” I say. “I don't owe you an explanation.”
His face changes. “Jeez,” he says. “Fine. See you at Christmas, I guess.” He turns to go.
Shit. This guy's my family, he's going to be in my life forever, and he might not be the most sophisticated fifteen-year-old in the world, but he's decent and my stepsister loves him, and I'm being a jerk.
I catch him by the arm. “Wait.” I take a deep breath. “Josey knows about us. It's...we kind of have an arrangement.”
“What, like, they're in an open relationship thing?”
'No, that would be them having an arrangement. I said we have an arrangement.”
I watch him work through this in his head. “So you're saying the three of you are like...a couple.”
I shrug.
“Or a...triple, I guess,” he says.
“See, it's just a lot easier not to talk about it to people.”
“Right, I get that.” He rubs the back of his neck. “So uh, are you sleeping with her too?”
“Lucas!”
“I'm just asking.”
“Who I am or am not sleeping with is nobody's business besides the people with whom I am or am not sleeping. And also no, I am not sleeping with her.”
“Damn.”
“You don't even like her!”
“I'm a white-blooded guy, Taylor, I like any girl with any girl.”
I stare at him. “Did you just say white-blooded?”
“I...huh,” he says. “What was I going for there?”
“Red-blooded.”
“Right.” He shakes his head a little. “So you just sleep with him and he sleeps with whoever he wants?”
“That is so incredibly far from what I said. And it's not about that. It's not about sex.”
“This is pretty weird.”
“We have it worked out. Everyone who's involved knows, everyone who's involved is happy with it, and that's all you need to know. Now please, for the love of God, don't tell anyone. Please?”
“Why?”
“Because...because this conversation sucks, and being looked at like I'm both a prude and a slut and a victim and a traitor all the same time sucks, and I would really just like to concentrate on the fact that I just broke a minute in a hundred fly.”
Lucas pauses, then nods. “Okay. Fair enough.” He starts to go but stops and says, “You know, I don't think that you're any of those things.”
Something in me softens. “You don't?”
He shakes his head.
I don't know what to say, so I nod towards the concession stand a little and say, “Thanks for getting Alexis the snow cone. I knew you would.”
“It's just a snow cone.”
“You're good with her.”
“You just have to listen to her,” he says.
Once he's gone, I duck behind the scoreboard again to collect myself and dig my phone out of my sweatshirt pocket to text Theo that everything is going to be fine. I haven't even hit send before he's back, kissing the hell out of me and asking if I'm okay, kissing me back too hard and too fast for me to answer.
Which is good. Because I don't know what my answer would be.
16
It's the last day of school since winter break, and over the weekend they decorated the cafeteria with silver tinsel and blue Christmas lights, so it feels like you're eating lunch inside a stale pizza-scented snow globe. I'm the first one at our usual table, which no one else ever takes, because they can tell it's marked with our leper-ness. Josey shows up next and plunks her tray down in front of me . She has some tinsel snagged in her hair.
“Whatcha reading?” she says.
“Prisoner of Azkaban.” I hold up the book. “Aunt Marge is about to make a big mistake.”
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”
“Soak it up,” I say. “Just let it in, Josey.”
Theo's next, sliding in beside me. “What's going on?” he says.
“Some book about an aunt who makes mistakes,” Josey says.
“What?”
“Don't look at me,” Josey says. “She's your girlfriend.”
“Yeah, now she's my girlfriend,” Theo says. “When she wins swim meets it's all our girlfriend is so amazing, isn't she, Theo, but as soon as she confuses you she's all my problem again.”
“Yes,” Josey says. She points at Theo's tray. “You forgot to fill up that cup.”
“Ah, damn it.” He grabs his cup and heads
