“I’ll be out by the end of the week,” Camilla adds in when I don’t answer her question.
“Just stay until you figure out your next move.” Since my siblings and Madelyn are staying with me at the house, the trailer is useless at this point, and I’m going to sell it by year’s end.
Camilla gives me a weak smile and picks at the chipped red nail polish on her fingernails. “Haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”
This is awkward as all fucking hell.
Not only did Cam and I have a lengthy and painful past, but her actions led to half the reason I shut myself down to feeling anything but anger.
It’s one thing to watch your mom snort coke and be non-existent. It’s another for your high school sweetheart to know how much it bothered you, only to fall right down the same path.
I believed I saved her from it.
I thought my love and plans for the future—our future—would help guide her back to me.
I could take it, helping her in any which way because Camilla became my world when Scarlett and Hardy were absent. She was my new reason for waking up in the morning and filling in those holes that laid hollow.
She wasn’t strong enough.
I wasn’t patient enough.
Camilla took a shit on me and claimed I needed to deal with it because I had with Mom. Fuck that, she was tearing me up inside. That I bought her a ring and was going to propose after we graduated.
My feelings meant dog shit.
And Emmy craves them more than anything.
I met my wife at the wrong time but glad that Em didn’t have to grow up in the throngs of heinous men and petty crimes.
When Camilla was held back our senior, I asked Kyson to wait. Our plans were to join the military, and with the benefits of being married, I’d be able to take care of Camilla too. With the three of us, we’d leave this shithole behind and start a new existence.
It didn’t fucking happen.
I had to gain my life, and Kyson had already waited for me to graduate, being a year older.
So I left.
I left what I thought was the love of my life. I dropped our plans and sold the engagement ring.
I disappeared and never reached out to her again.
“Have you considered…” I let my sentence fade off because I know nothing about this woman anymore and what she’s tried to do and hasn’t done with her life.
Camilla locks gazes with me and straightens her body. “No.”
Just like Mom.
Taking a seat across from her, I settle myself down into a somewhat calm state. Her wavy dark blonde hair is tangled and in need of a comb. The faint sweep of freckles splay over the bridge of her nose, and she’s exactly the same, only over two decades older.
And if I was an idiot—for her still anyway—I’d still think she was worth it.
“You think what you’re doing is the best way to be spending your time?”
“Kace…”
Alright, fuck this.
“You’re going to a rehab facility.”
“Wait, what?” Camilla sounds like I just told her that Santa Claus doesn’t exist and the reindeers don’t fly.
In complete denial about her addiction and the pretty laid out fact that she needs help.
Help I can’t give her.
That I won’t spend my time on because she’s not it for me anymore.
“I didn’t stutter.” My phone begins to vibrate in my jean pocket, but I don’t make a go to retrieve it.
Nah, Camilla is going to fight me on this, and I need all my focus on not tossing her out on her ass right now.
“Kace, no.” She swings her head back and forth. “They don’t work.”
“You don’t try. And I don’t have time to babysit you.”
Why the hell I’m doing it now is a combination of bad decisions, old flames, and the fact that I need something to occupy my fucking time since Emmy pulled a Houdini on me.
“I’m not going,” Camilla retorts, scooting out of her seat and rising to stand. “If you think that this is going to help, it’s not.”
“Says who?”
“Me.”
“It’s time someone lit a fire under your ass, Cam. I’ll just make sure it’s not as much as I inflicted on Bubba.” Her eyes span wider at the bleak reminder. “Time to face the music.”
“I asked for a fucking ride,” she gripes with contempt. “Not a lecture.”
“Yeah? Well, where are your other cronies at?”
Her face twists—she’s pissed—and she starts for the door. My palm slams into her chest above her breasts, and I thrust her spine into the drywall.
A gasp escapes her lips as I ungraciously let her soak in whatever pain I may have just inflicted.
“I have a job for you to do since you wasted my time,” I leer, tightening my grip on her pink tee. “I need you to keep your ears and eyes open around here. If any people are riding up in here that don’t belong, let me know.”
“Why—“ I pull her frame forward a bit, then slam it back into the wall, alluding for her to stop asking me dumb questions.
“Do it…and you can stay here. Snort snow in here, and I’ll have you out on your ass. Fuck around with me, Camilla, and you’re going to find out what I grew up to be.”
She tsks, remembering me for who I used to be and not what I’ve become.
Two different human beings right there.
“You’d never hurt me, Kace.” Her words are confident as she rises a little on her toes, allowing me to remember us this close before. Two young teenagers in love with the whole dark and unforgiving world ahead of them.
Her soft but dry lips brush mine before taking my bottom lip between her teeth. She tugs, coaxing me to recall the violent motive that Cam and I have when we’re together.
To forget everything.
I don’t remember her moving, but my spine slams into the opposite side of the hall.
Her arms wrap around my neck, and a flurry of mixed memories flood through me.
How much she loved
