“At least open a window,” I said.
“What do you know about coal, Noa?”
“I know you make diamonds out of it. Why? Do you have any for me?”
“You’re a diamond. Fuck those stupid rocks. They cut off negros’ hands so you could put them on your fingers. One day, Russia will release all the diamonds in its possession and diamonds will cost as much as apples.”
“Well… until then, can I have one? A big one, if you would. And with a good clarity grade. You won’t pull one over me, will you?”
“Just sit down already.”
I did.
“Coal is one of the foremost contributors to polluting our planet. You know, it’s an energy source. Wind, water, oil, fuel oil, gas, and coal. And coal is the most problematic because it causes the highest rates of pollution. There are five or six main contributors—countries, I mean. Indonesia, the worst, then Australia, Russia, America a little, Colombia too, and South Africa. You’ve been to South Africa, haven’t you? Didn’t you mention having an aunt there? Anyway—this coal thing has to be eliminated. It was decided to cut it off cold turkey, no dallying and delaying for years on end, letting the bullshitters stop it from actually ever going through.
“In Australia, there’s one company that’s a serious problem. It’s putting a lot of pressure on the government. We’ll handle that company and the government. In three years, Australia will stop using fossil fuel entirely.”
“And how exactly are you planning to do that, Eran?” I pressed.
“Good, now sit quietly and listen. But listen closely, Noa, because this will be starting ASAP.”
“How soon is this ASAP?”
“We’re flying over in October.”
“Well, that’s great of you to let me know. I’ve got a deal going with Timothy, for your information. I’ve been busting my ass on that deal for four years.”
“There is no deal with Timothy.”
“What do you mean?” I leveled him with a serious look.
“Noa, everything at its own time, okay? How much are you standing to earn from that deal?”
“If we recruit and get the first contract, ten million shekels. That’s the estimate, and it’s realistic. And that’s only for the first contract. Then I’ve got stakes in the company. Twenty percent. It could be monstrous, Eran.”
“I’ll make sure everything goes along simultaneously, all right?” he said.
“Wait, wait. I don’t understand.” I stopped him, because he was starting to think too much ahead—as he was wont to do—and he was starting to babble. “What do you mean simultaneously?”
“Noa, you pull this off with me, you get fifteen million to your account. Transferred. Yeah? The deal with Timothy can wait. It’s only three months.”
“Fifteen million shekels? Are you kidding me?”
“Totally serious. Before taxes, though. You’ll have to pay it, just like everyone else. You’re not special. At least, not in this regard.”
I stuck my tongue out at him—defiantly. Like a little girl.
“Well then… that’s interesting,” he said, giving me his devious look.
“What’s interesting?”
“Your tongue,” he answered. “Can I have it a moment?”
“Where do you want it?”
“Where don’t I, Noa… where don’t I.”
I got up from the bar chair and sat on his lap. I could feel right away that he was serious. And justifiably.
“Let’s get on with it, Noa. I have to finalize everything with you today. And I’ve got to go out and eat something, too. I’m starving.”
“I’ll make you something—you want to tell me you were planning on going out now?”
“I can make something myself. What have you got here?”
“Go to the fridge and look, I’m not your mother.” I smiled. Every man ended up searching for a woman like his mother.
He got out some cheese and bread.
“You got a toaster?”
“What do you think? Second drawer. Under the microwave…. Six slices of cheese for a toast sandwich? Are you mental? Haven’t you ever heard of arterial occlusion?”
“There are plenty of blockages. I’m counting on you to help me heal from them. Until then, let me eat. You take up a lot of energy, you know. Just wait until you’re my age.”
“You’re a late bloomer.” I smiled at him. “I’d take you any way and at any age.”
I’d never said a sentence like that aloud.
“Anyway,” I continued. “The long or the short of it is… what? What’s the plan? Who are we? What’s going on?”
“We’re on our own here, Noa. Another Israeli woman will be coming, though. Let’s get some coffee and a cigarette and sit for a while. See what you have to say. I’ve even got a little surprise for you. You’ll be fine.”
“Maybe after all this you’ll come to Sinai with me?”
“I hate Arabs and we’ll be going forward—not backward.”
“But you’ve never come with me to Sinai, even though you told me you would, one day.”
He didn’t answer. He always avoided talking about Sinai.
And what was that about going forward, not backward?
“So, here’s the deal.” Suddenly a complete pro was in front of me, eliminating everything else. “There are two targets. The CEO of the Australian company and the Australian prime minister.”
I thought I was going to pass out.
“No way, Eran. I’m not colluding on those kinds of levels! No way. Eran, no way. Leave me alone. I don’t even want to hear it. I had enough of that then, so if this is the only reason you came, you can leave. I’m not kidding. I’ve got a child! What do I look like to you? Rambo?”
“First of all, yes. You are Rambo. And secondly, calm down. They won’t even lose a hair. At least not from their heads.”
“Will you be serious for once and explain this to me like a normal human being?”
“I’m trying, only you’re jumping to your insane hissy fits. Sit down and take a breath. I’ll explain. We’re not going to off anyone. But we are going to hold them by their balls so they cooperate with us. One girl will grab them by the balls and treat them real nice, but will also squeeze if necessary—and that won’t be necessary. I’ll explain later on why he’s the lesser
