“What are you waiting for then?” he called over the wail of the shuttle’s engines. “You’d better get going.”
She gave him a long, lingering look and then hurried out of the hangar without looking back.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE REAPER'S CALL
Ryann watched Angelique leave with a heavy heart. He felt the pressure of his surroundings building up within him. All he wanted to do now was to find some place away from everyone else. After years of just he and Angelique living aboard the Raven, this life, stuck amid the bustle of the Defiance without a moment’s peace was driving him crazy.
“Ryann?”
His heart sank as he heard his father’s voice above the dying whine of the shuttle’s engines. He turned around in dismay to see Grayell stepping out from the cockpit.
“What are you doing here Ryann?” asked his father as he approached.
“Nothing,” sighed Ryann morosely, still consumed with the way his conversation had gone with Angelique. He stared wistfully towards the exit, longing just to run after Angelique and tell her how he felt.
“You’re not still thinking of going across to that Luminal derelict are you?” asked Grayell moodily. “Because if you’re down here after a shuttle, I told you, I forbid anybody from going across to it. It’s too dangerous. Just sending out a ship could give away our position.”
Ryann felt his anger welling up inside.
“I wasn’t looking for a shuttle,” he spat. “If I wanted to take a shuttle, there’s nothing you or anybody else could do to stop me.”
For a moment, the two stood face to face, each of them refusing to back down.
“We’ll see about that,” growled his father at last. “If you can’t act responsibly, then I’m rescinding your flight clearance until you can learn to obey an order!”
Ryann looked up at his father in shock; he suddenly felt as though he had been transported years back into his childhood.
“You’re afraid,” he hissed at last. He stared defiantly back at his father, and for a moment he thought the old man was going to strike him.
“Damn right,” replied Grayell at last, his face up close to Ryann’s. “I’m afraid for the safety of every single person aboard —”
“No, not that.” Ryann forced himself to meet his father’s stern gaze. “You’re afraid that if someone else has contact with the Lumina then you’ll no longer be the great hero, the sole keeper of some mystical truth only you can possess.”
“Oh for pity’s sake.”
“Well, you’re just going to have to deal with the fact that this is bigger than you!”
“You’re acting like a spoiled little brat!” growled his father. “Perhaps you should consider that the universe doesn’t revolve around you for a change! I’m not letting a single ship off the Defiance, so get any stupid ideas out of your head. Right now there are around two thousand people aboard this ship who are depending upon us — so help out or shut up!”
Ryann glared at his father as the old man stormed out of the hangar in a rage. But he couldn’t resist a parting shot: “You’re just too afraid to do anything but run and hide!” He paused for a moment as though struggling with an inner turmoil. “Damn coward,” he muttered awkwardly to the empty hangar.
“Hey, easy Ryann.”
He turned in embarrassment to see the grizzled figure of Anders surveying him from the Marianne’s loading ramp. The big man walked over to him and Ryann felt his cheeks flush.
“I know it must be difficult having a father like that,” said Anders quietly. Ryann turned away to hide his face, looking out through the hangar entrance towards the chaos of refugee ships. They hung all around as the Ghost-Runners worked hard to build a refugee city in space.
“A father like what?” he muttered glumly.
“Well, you know, your father’s a great man — he built the Ghost-Runners up from nothing.”
“Oh yeah, my father — Grayell Wade, the hero, the saviour of the universe. It gets more like a damn cult around here every day!”
Ryann flinched as he saw Anders stiffen.
“Easy Ryann, don’t take me for a fool. You can’t deny that your father has saved the lives of everyone onboard this ship. He’s earned my respect the hard way.”
“Do you think he was like that for me?” spat Ryann; every word of praise heaped upon his father was beginning to sicken him. “Do you think I ever even got the chance to know him? I never saw him — I was always farmed out to some school or academy — not even in the same damn star system! I worshipped him, and he was never there —”
“I’m sorry Ryann — I know it must have been tough these last few months.”
“Tough? Living in the shadow of the Great Grayell Wade? The man who attacked an unarmed Outlander ship and brought the Lumina down on us? He’s the one who’s responsible for all this!” He gestured furiously out to the refugee fleet. “The deaths of all those people are on his hands! Well to hell with him — I’ll go my own way!”
“Hey, come on Ryann —”
“You know, for so long I thought he was dead. I mourned for him — I got over it. And now, now he’s back — the great hero returned. He’s not the father I thought he was — the one that should have been there for me.” Ryann turned to leave the hangar, “It was a lie. It was all a damn lie.”
Without really knowing how, Ryann found himself down in the maintenance section, his black mood worse than ever. He walked aimlessly, just trying to find somewhere on the ship that wasn’t filled with the bustle of personnel. As he passed the entrance to a row of utility pods an idea came to him and he smiled grimly to himself.
He stopped, glancing about to check that nobody was looking. Then, with a deep breath, he ducked inside the nearest pod, closing the hatch quietly behind him.
He checked the controls, keying in
