"You mean Liam?"
Jaspir didn't have to look at her to know she cocked her head like a bird while she thought through his question from all angles. She'd never thought of kissing the red haired boy. She never had kissed the red haired boy. Jaspir wanted to stop her from thinking of it now.
"I've never thought of it," she confirmed.
And now Jaspir wanted to kick himself for putting the idea into her head.
"I've never thought of Liam that way. I suppose I should since we will be mated soon. But mated pairs don't kiss. That's something lovers do, correct?"
Merlyn leaned into Jaspir's eye line, looking for confirmation. Most bonded pairs mated purely for procreation, seeking no joy from the coupling. Kissing had no basis in fertilization.
"You're the only lover I've ever had," she continued. "I don't wish to have another. And I intend to remain true to my bond, once it’s official. I get to keep my thoughts, my memories, to myself. My memory of that moment is faulty. If it’s not too much trouble, I'd like to do it again. With you. I'll try harder to remember well this time, and then I won't bother you again, I promise."
Jaspir could hold back no longer. He lifted her from her chair and crushed her to him. She gasped, startled, but slowly relaxed in his embrace. He wanted to be gentle, to seduce her, to show her his skill, but the thirteen year old boy in him held the reins.
He captured both of her lips with his. He clasped his hand around the back of her neck and held her to him, breathing her in, feeling the softness of her lips, her breasts against him. He licked at her lower lip. When she gasped, he invaded. He plunged inside, leaving no part of her untouched.
"Jaspir?"
"Yes, my love?"
"This is all different than I remember."
Jaspir chuckled. "Let me hold you for a moment. Then I'll kiss you until I'm your only memory."
Merlyn's arms came around him and she settled her forehead into the crook of his neck. "This is pleasant. This is what you'd call a lover's embrace?"
"Hmm."
"I like it, especially the transfer of body heat. I typically borough down into my covers in the morning. I suppose it will be nice to have another's body next to me. It would certainly save on heating expenditures."
Jaspir ran a hand down her face, then back up again and through the stray curls on her head. The whimsy of the curls was at odds with the seriousness inside that head. He pulled her closer. "How did you find me?"
"A friend of yours told me where you were a few months ago."
"A friend?" Jaspir's only acquaintances were in this establishment. He felt irked that one of these males would be around Merlyn outside of these walls. Unless she meant one of his brothers from the temple.
Jaspir had trained with three other males around his age. Two of them were out of the temple. Adom owned a dress shop in the city. Emet, his bondmate, worked for the Male Voice in the Sisterhood. But he'd seen them both last month. They'd known how he felt about Merlyn for years. They would have told him.
"His name is Brother Jian," Merlyn said.
"Jian?" Jaspir hadn't seen Jian since the Brother took his vows. Adom and Emet had long since left the temple, but Jian, who had been the most devoted of the four, remained behind.
"He's not a Brother any longer," Merlyn continued. "He bonded with my cousin."
Jian? Bonded? Impossible.
Merlyn pulled away from Jaspir. Her eyes glazed, her lips parted. It was Jaspir's dream come true. He brought his lips to hers.
"I remember that," she said against his lips. "The softness and the warmth. It’s coming back to me."
Jaspir shushed her by capturing her bottom lip with his own, sucking and biting.
Merlyn gasped. "Das newb."
Jaspir took advantage of her opened mouth and plunged in once more. Merlyn moaned. He went farther, drunk on her taste. He was losing the battle of keeping his head, hard not to do when blood resources were diverting to his dick. He knew he couldn't take this any farther than a kiss. He was a gigolo, not a hound. He had no license to tamper with an unbonded, virgin female.
Merlyn pulled away. "Wait, wait. This is all new. I need a moment to catalogue these new details."
Jaspir chuckled. When they were children, he delighted in showing her anything new so that he could watch her eyes light and then narrow as she investigated the new wonder from all sides. Merlyn was a curious creature. Even back then, Jaspir had wanted to show her the world. He would begin their global expedition at her mouth with a slow exploration this time.
He prepared to capture her lips again. The sound of a dinging bell broke them apart.
"What's that?"
"Time." His hands struggled with whether to grip her or release her. The journey was over before it ever began. It could never begin. He couldn't keep her. Sooner or later, she'd be snatched from his grip and he'd be tossed aside again.
"Our time is up, Merlyn."
"Should I buy more?"
Jaspir hesitated. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. She had his heart, but he would never be allowed to possess hers. He set her back on her chair.
"No," he whispered. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. "No," he said more firmly.
Another hour, another day would change nothing. It had taken years to get over her. Who was he kidding? He'd never gotten over her. He never would.
"My time is up because you have another lover coming?" she asked.
Jaspir pulled away from her, staring into her golden brown eyes. "No. There is no one else."
She cocked her head to the side, the birdlike motion signaling that she was investigating his words. Just as Merlyn only spoke facts, she had a knack for sensing when someone told half-truths.
"I have no
