She went to speak again, subconsciously pushing out soothing and coaxing manipulations at the same time. Again, the emotions rattled around inside her confines until they fizzled out.
Suddenly the barrier fell, and Havoc dropped to one knee, obviously drained and not only of mana. “Not supposed to use that for long periods of time.” He winced and Murmur watched him, activating her Mana Replenishment so he could recover some of his expenditure.
“I…” She checked herself, making sure she wasn’t overreaching with her own abilities, making sure she wasn’t just pushing her own wants onto them. “I didn’t realize. I thought I was just helping…”
“We’re allowed to feel pain. We’re allowed to be scared. We’re allowed to not want to do something.” Jinna’s tone had a hard edge, like one of his blades. “You can’t move people along by doing that, by making us forget, or not acknowledge our fear.”
“Yeah, I…” Murmur stood, water still dripping from her robe, her mind numb with the ricocheting emotions she’d been attempting to force onto others. How long had she been doing that? Sure, she knew when she tried to make them braver. She knew when she’d tried to persuade them to do things her way, but she hadn’t really meant to. Damn, with it basically second nature, how was she supposed to stop it?
A warm hand slipped around her waist, looping casually along her back. “I’ll thwap you if you do it again. Hell,” Sinister glanced down at Snowy, “I’m sure the wolf will help.”
“Yeah.” Murmur still didn’t know what to say. The waves of annoyance still rippled from her friends, back to her, right through her body. She could feel it. Experiencing the unwanted sensation of her own targeted emotional manipulation, however inadvertent or unintentional it had been, shocked her.
“Mur.” Sinister looked up at her.
Murmur looked away, unable to reconcile her own feelings with what she’d perhaps made her best friend do. Had she pushed Sinister into feeling for her? Had she manipulated the person who meant more to her in the world than almost anyone? The hyperventilation was coming again, the shortness of breath, the disbelief in herself. She closed her eyes, using Snowy’s head to steady herself.
A soft kiss on the corner of her mouth made Murmur open her eyes. She looked down at Sinister, whose eyes were twinkling.
“I can’t read minds, but I know you. And right about now you’re beating yourself up for taking advantage of me. You’ve never taken advantage of me in that way, Mur.” Sinister grinned in a very sinister way. “If anything, that pied piper has been me.”
Murmur felt the blush rising in her cheeks, the warmth in her face having nothing to do with the Boon of Ice. She nodded sheepishly. “I’m so sorry.”
And then she turned to the others who’d come to confront her, who had taken on the burden and the risk to break through to her. What Havoc had done was risky; it could have backfired enormously, and with the realization of just what she could do with her abilities…Murmur wasn’t entirely sure it was wise to use them too much.
“Thank you. I am so sorry. I had no idea I was doing that. Well, I did, but I also didn’t. Like I just meant to help. I just wanted everyone to have fun, to win, and to not get down on themselves. But I can totally see now what I did, and why it didn’t work in the slightest. Not allowing you to feel for yourselves was fucking villain material, and I’m sorry.”
She paused, taking a breath and checking herself to make sure she wasn’t doing it again. “If I step out of line, smack me or something.”
“Will do.” Veranol seemed gruff, but a small smile of relief tugged at his lips. “We should probably get back now.”
Sinister slipped her hand into Murmur’s and squeezed. “I call not it.”
“What?” Havoc looked a bit better already, but he’d definitely taken a hit by casting that spell on Murmur.
The bloodmage laughed. “There is no way in hell I’m going to be the one to cast water breathing on everyone.”
Location Redacted
Brainwave Focus Study Laboratory
Subdivision of Military Brainwave Research Institution
Somnia Online Ululate - First Login
Day Twenty-Nine
If James hadn’t known he was back in his apartment lying down in a pod in his research area, he wouldn’t have believed it. The previous time he’d logged in had only been to test that it worked. He hadn’t paid attention to anything else. The virtual world wasn’t exactly as he’d imagined it. Its fabric was deceptively realistic.
His swanky headgear, courtesy of Michael, gave him access to a warlock class, already level forty. It wasn’t the sort of class he’d have chosen for himself. He liked to stab things if he played games. But spells were sort of like shooting things, so he’d get used to it. Besides, he wouldn’t be in the game too long. Just until he found out what he needed.
While he’d played the occasional game, his job took over his life, and it wasn’t exactly something he had time for. Navigating this avatar was going to end up being tricky if he didn’t take the time to sit down and figure out just how the class worked. It wasn’t a normal class, not one of the ones the game launched with. He liked that; it made him and his abilities unpredictable.
Not to mention his headset already gave him access to numerous things he wouldn’t have been able to adjust within the game otherwise. Perhaps fast travel would be included in a dev character. Still, he could play in a bit once he knew exactly what he had to do.
He’d figure out
