“Sadly, no. I usually prep and cook here then take the dishes to Mama’s or the station. Rafe’s come over on occasion, and Angelina used to have cooking sessions with me before she opened the restaurant.” Tony set down the knife he was using to slice the yellow squash. “But you’re the first date I’ve ever brought home.”
To say she was stunned was an understatement, and she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Ever?”
He nodded and hitched the corner of his mouth up as if that was a bad thing.
Carm had no idea! She didn’t care one way or another about his past exploits, because she’d certainly entertained a few guys at her condo over the years. But it warmed her heart even more that he’d invited her here.
“I’m honored.”
She came around the island, rested her hand on his until the knife stilled, and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He half-turned so that he could wrap her in his embrace, and they kissed more passionately.
Afterward, she returned to her station to await further instructions while Tony sliced the remaining squash. His spirits seemed high tonight. They’d had a great day so far.
When he picked up the asparagus and start snapping off the tough ends, he paused again to meet her gaze. “Thanks for coming over, Carmella. Do you think you’ll be able to stay the night?”
That he didn’t take it for granted she’d stay touched her. “Nothing would make me happier. I wasn’t sure how late we’d be at the lake, so I packed a bag. It’s in the car.”
This was more than a booty call. This was a monumental step, being the first woman to spend the night here with Tony. She wasn’t going to pass on the chance. By his simple admission minutes ago, Tony Giardano had moved light-years ahead of any man she’d dated in the past.
“Tony, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” He set down the asparagus and gave her his full attention.
“Last month, when you left without saying goodbye, what happened?” The words hadn’t quite come out as intended, but she waited for a response.
She’d begun to think he wasn’t going to answer, then he blurted out, “I had a nightmare.”
He hadn’t shared that with her? How’d she been sleeping next to him and not been aware of it? “Tony, I wish you’d told me that morning. I might have been able to help you with the aftermath of the dream.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that, but it wasn’t as bad as some. I didn’t want to wake you up at four-thirty when you had a meeting early that morning.”
“I wouldn’t have cared about that meeting as much as I care about you. Sandro and I can touch base anytime, we just choose to do it in the morning. I just hate that you went through that alone.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again and meeting her gaze. “I can’t promise I won’t have one tonight. They’re unpredictable. The two nights I slept beside you on Provo, I was lucky. But I want to warn you so you know what you’re getting into. I might lash out or kick you. If I ever hurt you, I wouldn’t forgive myself.”
Carm walked around the island to where he stood. Taking him in her arms, she kissed him on one cheek, then the other, almost like a mother might kiss a child. This wasn’t sexual. She felt this from somewhere deep inside her.
“Tony, I’m tough. You aren’t going to do anything, and if you did, it would be nothing serious. Please stop worrying about me, because you’re going to make yourself so anxious you’ll inevitably bring on a nightmare.”
“I still don’t know what caused—”
She pressed a finger against his lips. “Shh. It doesn’t matter what brings them on. When they do happen, we’ll face them together.”
Tony’s eyes grew bright with what looked like unshed tears. If he wanted to shed a tear without embarrassment, she’d give him that opportunity.
“Oh, Baby,” she said, as she pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around him to hold him tight. “I hate that you’re having to go through this when all you wanted to do was protect people and save lives.”
“It’s my job.”
“But you need to forgive yourself for not being a superhero. Teddy Roosevelt once quoted an old saying, Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are. You did all anyone could do under those circumstances—and more than most would have done. Sometimes people can’t be saved from themselves.”
Tony held onto her as if she were a lifeline. He didn’t say anything for the longest time. That he’d allow himself to be vulnerable with her meant a lot to her, and she hoped he’d continue to lower the walls he’d constructed to protect his heart.
Despite her brother’s warning and her own questions about whether she and Tony had any future, today she’d learned that they most certainly did. It might take them a while to get to a place where they would make a commitment, but Carmella wasn’t going anywhere. She’d give him the time he needed to come to terms with the past and embrace their future, whether they had one together or not.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Tony tugged at the collar under his bow tie to give himself room to breathe. He hated dressing up and regretted agreeing to be a part of tonight’s charity shindig. What he wouldn’t do for Carmella and the brotherhood. At least she’d promised she wouldn’t let anyone outbid her. He looked forward to spending time together during the dinner and dancing portion of the gala. He’d already told her she could add five hundred to whatever she had as his contribution to the cause—in part to keep from
