“But she’s not in love with him,” Eve replied, exasperated.
“Because she’s in love with this Max, is that what you’re saying?” Tawna laughed sceptically, and I wished they’d stop making out they knew what was best for me. I felt invisible. “After one date, if you can even call it that?”
“I never mentioned love, but I like him. What’s wrong with that?” The sales assistant glanced up cautiously, my loud voice leading her to believe a full-blown cat fight was about to kick off. That wouldn’t be good in a bridal boutique. Too many delicate materials.
“Darius never got over you. He says splitting up with you was the worst mistake of his life.”
“Maybe we’d still be together if he’d spent less time chatting up other women.”
Talking about it brought the painful memories of rejection to the fore. It had got to the point where I hadn’t wanted to go into town with him. I’d only end up crushed by the lack of attention he’d pay me, but despite knowing his eyes would wander towards other women, I’d get dolled up and go with him regardless. After a day at work I was more than happy to have a long soak in a bubble bath, change into my PJs and read or sew in front of the telly, but Darius called me a boring old fart if I suggested a night in.
Even the trips we’d shared to the club capitals of Europe – Ayia Napa, Faliraki, Magaluf – had required not just stamina to last the all-nighters but a thick skin to turn a blind eye to his antics. I’d paid for the last holiday we’d had together, because of a cash-flow problem at the company, even though the trip had been his idea. He’d made me promise not to let on to Tawna, because “it would only worry her if she knew things weren’t as good for Johnny’s business in reality as they were on paper”, and of course I couldn’t tell Eve because she’d have blabbed. Darius assured me he’d pay me back when he could, because a fortnight at an all-inclusive top hotel right in the heart of the action had been costly. He’d finished with me a week after we got back without offering to reimburse me, and I was too ashamed to ask for the money. I hadn’t mentioned that to anyone. Bringing it up would only sound petty, like sour grapes for being scorned.
“Look, I didn’t want to say this, but…” Tawna sighed. “It’s Nadia. She’s being a total bitch to Darius. She’s got this new boyfriend who’s in the marines.”
“Very interesting,” Eve said, in a dry tone that suggested she thought it was anything but. “But that has nothing to do with Sophie.”
“Exactly.” I glared. “Nadia and I never saw eye to eye, but good for her if she’s got a fit new boyfriend. Fair play.”
“You don’t understand,” Tawna replied. “It’s not about that. This guy Nadia’s been seeing… he’s getting his feet under the table. Summer’s started calling him Daddy. He’s taking them to Florida in the school holidays too, because Summer’s desperate to meet Mickey Mouse.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Summer would love that. She watched the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on a loop, knowing which Mousekatool was most useful in any given situation because she’d seen every episode twenty times before.
Tawna scowled, mistaking my fond memories for cruel amusement. “You might think it’s funny, but Darius is really hurting. This guy’s trying to muscle his way in and take his place as Summer’s dad.”
“Muscle.” Eve giggled. “That’s funny.” When Tawna looked at her blankly she said, “Because he’s a marine, get it? He must have massive muscles. I bet he’s ripped.”
“I’m sure he’s upset,” I said, ignoring Eve who was still chuckling to herself in the background, “but I don’t know what he expects me to do about it.”
“Summer needs her dad in her life. Her real dad, not some flavour-of-the-month replacement.”
My chest spasmed at the thought of Summer and her crooked gap-toothed smile. When Darius and I had first got together she’d been a toddler, and I’d watched her grow into a chatty, confident little girl. And I’d loved her so, so much. There had been a time where I’d genuinely thought I’d be her stepmum one day.
“He needs people he can trust around him right now, people who can support him. It’s not only about him, it’s Summer too. Think about it, yeah?”
“I’ll think about it,” I found myself saying. “Although I don’t see how anything I could do would make a difference.”
“Soph…” Eve warned.
“You heard Tawna, it’s not just about Darius,” I said, as much to convince myself as her. “Summer’s more important than anything that’s happened in the past.”
“But it’s not your battle,” Eve started. “Darius is big enough and ugly enough to deal with this himself.”
I didn’t say what I was thinking – that Nadia was such a bitch that it wouldn’t surprise me if she was playing yet more games, with Summer as a helpless pawn. She was the sort of person who stored up failures and used them as ammunition in future arguments, and Darius, too afraid to rock the boat and have her cut off all access, would be bullied into going along with whatever Queen Nadia suggested.
I knew, deep down, that as soon as I’d said goodbye to the girls, I’d be on the phone to Darius finding out what I could do to help. I might have deleted his number from my phone, but that didn’t make a jot of difference. How could it, when I knew that number off by heart?
I watched a tear-jerker of a romance on Netflix with a spoon and a tub of chocolate ice cream for company (not Häagen-Dazs, unfortunately – Aldi special, at a fraction of the price) as I steeled myself to make the call.
By the time I reached
