I nodded. I knew.
The fayre had been brilliant; if not a roaring success, far more than the whimper I’d anticipated. I’d sold a fair few items and my confidence had been bolstered by so many familiar faces coming to show their support. Besides mine and Max’s families, Kath (who’d looked at the eye masks I’d made and actually vocalised that she thought they’d make good blindfolds for use in the bedroom) and Norma came by. She’d been looking for a present for Joel and Finley. When I explained the similarities between the rainbow I’d embroidered onto a pair of oven gloves and the Pride flag, she’d snapped them up, never mind that the boys ate out at least five times a week and rarely made anything from scratch.
As Max unlocked the front door of my house, I was unpacking the boxes of remaining stock from the back of Max’s Mini, taking extra care to transport the most fragile objects even though I’d used layers of protective bubble wrap, when my phone rang.
“Aren’t you going to get it?”
“Nah,” I said to Max, who was carrying a black bag full of cushions I’d made and the cashbox containing my takings. First glances had suggested I’d made a decent profit and I was chuffed that it wasn’t only our families who’d bought my makes. “If it’s important then they’ll leave a message or call back.”
The ringing stopped, before immediately starting up again.
“What were you saying?” Max laughed.
“I’d better answer it.” I sighed, even though it was a withheld number.
An unfamiliar voice started talking from the other end of the phone, speaking in such a chirpy tone that I was convinced the woman was trying to sell me something. I tried to interject, but she kept on talking at me, until I eventually gave up and listened.
“So,” she said, “I’m delighted to announce that you’re our winner! We can’t wait to make a public announcement so we were wanting to arrange a photoshoot with you. We’ve a big cheque with your name on it, literally.”
My mind was racing, my heart was racing, but my body froze as the news sank in. Max looked at me with confusion, mouthing “Who is it?” Based on my lack of words he probably thought it was bad news.
“And you’re sure it’s me? There’s not been a mistake?”
“Your name was selected at random and there’s definitely no mistake,” she confirmed. “Like I say, we just need you to come to the office to pick up the cheque and have some photos for advertising purposes, as you agreed to when you entered the competition.”
“How much was the prize again?” I asked, barely able to breathe let alone speak. My chest felt as though a vice was crushing it.
“Five thousand pounds.” She said it so plainly, as though it was nothing, when that would pay off the remainder of my debts and still leave me with a small amount to go in my Christmas fund.
“Thank you,” I managed, my head swimming as she told me where I needed to go and when.
“What was all that about?” Max asked after I hung up.
“You’re never going to believe this,” I said, sinking to sit on the bottom step of the stairs. My legs were like two strands of cooked spaghetti and I didn’t trust them to hold my weight. “Do you remember when we were at the hospital fayre back in the summer and we gave our email addresses for that mailing list?”
Max nodded vaguely, probably just humouring me, but I continued anyway.
“There was a prize. And I’ve won.”
Max’s eyes widened. “No way. That’s fantastic!”
“It’s a lot of money. Five thousand pounds.”
“Wow.” Max sat down. I wondered if his legs were as wobbly as my own. “You hear about people winning these kind of prizes but never think it will actually happen to someone you know.”
“I know. I’m going to their offices tomorrow to have photos taken with the chief exec and one of those ridiculous giant cheques they give to lottery winners.”
Max shook his head. “That’s crazy.”
“Tell me about it.” My hands were trembling. “It’s enough to clear all my debts.”
“That’s incredible. It’s a fresh start for you. A new beginning.”
He wrapped me into a hug and I gladly leant into him.
“It feels a bit like cheating my way out of debt.” Voicing what I’d been feeling since the phone call was harder than I expected. It sounded kind of stupid saying it out loud. “It’s not a Disney movie. I don’t deserve a fairy godmother turning up and offering me the solution to all my problems out of the blue.”
“You’ve slogged your guts out with work and craft to pay those debts off. You’ve sold your possessions. You deserve this as much as anyone.”
Max’s words were a balm and I clung to him tightly.
“Things like this don’t happen to people like me,” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.
Max used the pad of his thumb to wipe it away. “This time they do.”
His words only made me cry even more desperately.
It took more than a few deep breaths for me to prepare myself to share my other news.
“There’s something else too,” I started, my voice wobbling. “You know how my periods are irregular?”
Max nodded slowly.
“I’ve not had one since the start of August. At first I put it down to the stress of being ill, but now I’m not sure.”
“Do you think you could be…?” Max’s voice trailed off, as though scared to tempt fate.
“I don’t know. I’ve never gone this long without one before.”
“Have you got a test?” he asked quietly. “Or do you need me to go and buy one?”
Suddenly I was viewing Max differently, not just as a lover, or a partner, but as a dad. His strengths – his kindness, his gentle nature, his good humour – would make him a lovely father.
“There’s one in the bathroom cabinet,” I said.
We climbed the stairs without words, Max waiting outside the bathroom
