I felt my stomach muscles tense as I sensed what came next.
“Then this past spring, I showed up at the hotel at the same time that we always met, but he didn’t show. I thought he might have met someone and chose not to come, but I later found out that he’d passed away the previous winter.” She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I know the relationship we shared was unconventional, and if either of us really cared, we could have worked out a way to spend more than three weeks a year together, but what we had worked for us.” She took in a breath. “Or at least I thought it did at the time. Now that he’s gone, I realize I would give anything, including my career, for more time with the only man I’m ever going to love.”
“I’m so sorry.” I laid my hand over hers.
She quirked her lips to one side. “Most people seem to feel inclined to discount the depth of my mourning since I wasn’t willing to commit to this man in life. They figure that my inability to settle down equates to a lack of caring. But I did care. I do care. I always will.” She looked around the area. “I really needed some time with my thoughts. I’m glad I came here. This setting is so cathartic, and Emma and Joel have helped a lot as well.”
“How was the national park yesterday?” I asked, deciding to change the subject to something less emotional.
“It was fabulous. Today, the three of us plan to take a drive north. I’m really looking forward to it. Joel knows so much about the history of the area.” She smiled. “He likes to narrate as we drive, which is fine with me. I can see that it’s fine with Emma as well.” She paused and then continued. “As hard as this has been for me, I know it has been ten times as hard for Emma. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to move on with your life when you’ve been married to the same man for almost fifty years.”
“When you lose a spouse, everything changes,” I agreed. “After Ben died, I had a hard time making the simplest decisions. What to have for dinner. What to watch on TV. The two of us had a rhythm that was just gone.”
“But it does get better. Right?”
I nodded. “It does. I don’t think the grief of losing a loved one ever really goes away, but you eventually find a way to live in the world without the person you were so dependent on.”
“I think my grief has more to do with regret than a disruption to my life flow. Other than for three weeks a year, Billy really wasn’t part of the decisions I made that got me through each day.”
Samantha looked up and waved. Joel and Emma were heading our way. When they arrived at the table, I greeted them both, and we chatted as a group for a few minutes before I made my excuses and headed toward the inn.
When Rufus and I entered the kitchen through the back door, we found it empty. Continuing into the dining room, I found Chris, Sydney, Jeremy, Georgia, and Annabelle sitting at the table eating crepes and talking. I poured myself a cup of coffee and joined them.
“So what are we talking about?” I asked.
“Chris was just telling us about his research in the area,” Georgia explained.
“I guess I never asked what you were here to research,” I said.
“It’s sort of complicated, but basically, I’m looking at environmental factors on the migration, reproduction, and population of various sea mammals, particularly those on the protected species list. My study is general in nature at this point, and all I’m really doing is gathering data which I will then compare to data gathered in years past, but I’m hoping to use my findings to get funding for additional research.”
“It would be so much fun to spend the whole day following whales and playing with dolphins,” Annabelle said. “Maybe I’ll be a marine biologist when I grow up.”
“It can be interesting work,” Chris agreed. “And fun at times as well, but the hours are long, and at times, the work itself is somewhat boring. But if you’re really interested in your subject, it can be rewarding as well.”
“Do you see sharks?” Annabelle asked.
He set down his fork. “Not on this trip, but I did a study south of Florida a few years ago, and the focus of the study had to do with the migration of shark populations and food supplies. It was a two-year study and really interesting.”
“I’d be scared if I saw a shark,” Annabelle said.
“It can be dangerous, so you have to be aware of your surroundings when you’re in the water. The men and women on the team I worked with on the project had spent a lot of time researching sharks and generally understood shark behavior, so the chance of injury was minimal.” He smiled. “Actually, the only sea creature to take a bite out of me in all my years doing what I do was a sea lion off the coast of California. Those buggers are cute, but they can be aggressive as well.”
Annabelle frowned. “Sea lions bite?”
“This one did, but I wouldn’t worry too much. Generally, sea lions will leave you alone.”
“What’s the biggest animal you ever swam with?” Annabelle asked.
“A blue whale off the coast of Newfoundland. The sucker was huge. Close to a hundred feet, although I wasn’t in a position to take measurements. I almost jumped
