Instead of sitting on the couch, I forced out an awkward yawn. “I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to turn in.”
Halfway up the stairs, I reconsidered but stopped myself when I realized it was the wine talking. Erik was being a good host… it would be so incredibly appropriate to do something I couldn’t take back.
I liked staying with him. For the most part, I felt safer, and that was the deciding factor.
“It’s still early,” Erik called, but I was already at the top of the stairs.
I pulled in a shaky breath. “See you in the morning. Good night.”
I closed my door and thudded my head back. I was an idiot.
23
Erik and Dorian were working on sorting through supplies in the basement. The rain that had passed through brought heat with it, warming the house.
I fanned myself at the kitchen table while Sam crunched into trail mix. She held up the bag, but I shook my head. The heat had killed my appetite.
“Erik said he knows where we can find a vehicle,” I said, keeping my voice low.
“That’s great news,” Sam said, smacking the table with her hand. “Where? How? When?”
I exhaled. “There’s a catch.”
“What kind of catch?”
“He’ll tell us when he brings us to it.”
Sam’s eyes narrowed. “What does that mean?”
“He won’t tell us unless he can come with us.”
Sam chuckled for at least twenty seconds too long. “Yeah, that can’t happen.”
“Why not?” I asked leaning toward her, with my palms pressed against the table. My voice was hushed. “He’s armed.”
“Because if something happened,” Sam said. “You know this is a huge risk.”
“I know that but I didn’t realize you knew it,” I mumbled, sliding back into my chair. “You know,” I said, crossing my arms, “you won’t be any good to Dott if something happens to you.”
Sam cocked her head to the side. “I know that, but what kind of mom would I be if I just sat here and did nothing?”
“I’m honestly not sure.”
“If you had a daughter, you’d go to her,” Sam said. “You wouldn’t feel like you had a choice. She’s only six. She doesn’t understand why I’m not there.”
“Jameson will explain it,” I said.
Sam shook her head. “It won’t matter. All she will know is that when things got bad, mommy wasn’t there.”
“I don’t know,” I said with a quick, heavy sigh. “You’re probably right.”
“Right about what?” Dorian asked as he crouched down and grabbed something from under the sink. He popped back up with some kind of cleaner, looking back and forth between Sam and me. He frowned slightly. “What’s going on? I can tell when something is going on.”
“It’s nothing,” I said, waving my hand.
Sam’s chair squeaked as she pushed herself from the table and stood. “Erik wants to come with us to get my daughter.”
“That’s… that’s ridiculous. That’s like so… dangerous,” Dorian stammered. “I mean, like, no whatever. It is.”
“That’s what I was trying to explain to Mel,” Sam said, throwing her hands into the air.
“So, like you were all just going to leave me here without saying anything?” Dorian asked. “That’s not cool either.”
“No one is coming with me,” Sam said, brushing a strand of fiery red hair from her face.
My nose wrinkled. “You’re not going alone.”
“I really think my odds of making it there are better if I go alone,” Sam said, looking at her nails. “I’ll just drive straight through.”
“Gas?”
“I’ll figure it out,” Sam said.
Dorian held up a hand. “You’re all nuts.”
The stairs thudded with Erik’s footfalls. He froze at the top, obviously noticing the tension in the room.
“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Erik asked.
“You’re not coming to Massachusetts,” Sam said, enunciating word.
Erik’s eyes landed on mine, and I quickly shifted them away. Erik shrugged.
“Good luck finding a ride then,” he muttered as he opened a drawer and pulled out a rag. “I can’t stop you from going, obviously, but that doesn’t mean I have to help you either.”
“I never asked for your help,” Sam said.
“No, you didn’t,” Erik said. “I’m just not going to be party to something that will lead to you getting hurt or killed. Don’t need something like that on my conscience.”
Sam sighed. “There are probably tons of people out there willing to help. We’re just in like some redneck territory here where everyone thinks it’s every man for himself.”
Erik laughed but didn’t say anything. Sam’s cheeks burned with anger.
“What?” she demanded.
“It’s going to be worse in any big city,” Erik said. “You’re going to need supplies, a vehicle, fuel, and protection. I’ve got all but one of those items.”
“I can get them too,” Sam said, but her shoulder softened. She looked down. “I know you all think I’m stupid, but she’s my daughter. One day, you’ll understand.”
Dorian cleared his throat. “I still can’t believe you were all just going to leave without telling me.”
“Shut up, Dorian,” Sam and Erik both said at the same time.
“Fine,” Sam said.
I wasn’t exactly sure what changed her mind. Maybe it was that she knew she wouldn’t be able to make it far on her own.
“We’ll all go, or rather, anyone that wants to join me, is welcome to, but it’s not going to be easy,” Sam said.
Erik nodded. They agreed on something finally.
“It’s going to be hell, but we’ll stay off the main roads, and if we’re careful and smart, maybe we can get to her,” Erik said.
“Isn’t it like really foolish to leave all this behind?” Dorian asked. He quickly held up his hand. “I know, shut up, Dorian.”
“You’re not wrong,” I said.
Erik’s head bobbed. “What
