He nodded, jogging out of the room gleefully, as if I was the first person he’d ever had over. Then again, maybe I was. He’d told me he didn’t get much interaction with other people. Perhaps this was why.
After he’d shut the door, I stood from the bed, adjusted my clothing, and ran a hand through my unkempt hair. I lifted the to-go box from the comforter and headed into the living room, where Elias handed me a beer and settled in on the couch.
“You want to choose a show?”
“I couldn’t even tell you what shows I like anymore,” I said, twisting the top off my beer and taking a sip. “You choose.” I felt the sadness swelling in my chest as I thought about the nights when Addy and I used to curl up on the couch and watch television together. When we used to save shows to watch for when we were together, so we could experience the twists and turns together.
The HBO Max logo filled the screen, and I watched as he chose a political show with Jeff Daniels. I zoned out most of the night, eating my to-go box of lamb in silence as Elias laughed and mumbled along with the characters beside me. I got the feeling he’d seen the show a few times before. He seemed so carefree it made me envious. What a simple existence he had.
When had my existence changed from simple to chaotic? Had I made the conscious choice? Had I decided to throw my life into disarray?
Not intentionally, maybe, but if you asked Addy, I believed she’d say yes.
“So, what’s the deal with your marriage, anyway?” Elias asked, picking a piece of meat from his teeth. I was shocked by the candid question, but I tried not to show it.
“What do you mean?”
“Like…what happened? I know you’ve been together for so long. It must’ve been something big.” I adjusted on the couch. It wasn’t his business, but it would be rude to say so. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he said begrudgingly. “I just thought…you know, you might want someone to talk to. Friends share things, right?”
“Yeah, it’s not that. It’s just that, well, I don’t really know what happened. It was as if we were in two different marriages, and neither of us realized it.” I tensed my jaw as I remembered Addy’s words, thinking back over the fight—over all the fights—as he sat enthralled. His eyes were locked on me as if I were telling the most interesting story in the world. “You know, from my point of view, I thought things were fine. Truth be told, I never thought anything could tear us apart. We didn’t cheat on each other, there was no huge fight or scandal. I don’t know… She blames it on me, and I’m not saying I’m not to blame because I know I worked too much and I know I wasn’t home enough, but we both agreed to it, right? We talked it all through, and she wanted me to take the promotion, chase my dream. I worked so hard for it, and now it’s cost me everything.” I shook my head, sighing heavily. “I get her point. I know I should’ve been there more often, but sometimes…”
I hesitated, the weight of my true fear on my tongue. “Sometimes what?” he prompted.
“Sometimes I just feel like she’s using it as an excuse, and the truth is that she fell out of love with me somewhere along the way and is too afraid to tell me.” My voice cracked as I finished the sentence, and I found myself no longer hungry. I’d never admitted that aloud, not even to myself, though the worry had been a bit more than a whisper in the back of my brain for some time.
“Nah… You don’t mean that. If she loves you half as much as you love her, how could she fall out of love with you? I see that look in your eye when you talk about her, man. It’s the real deal with you two. If she means that much to you, you have to fight for her. You have to. If you two can’t work things out, what does that say for the rest of us?”
I smiled halfheartedly, my mind entirely elsewhere. Had Addy fallen out of love with me? I couldn’t help worrying that was the case. And, if it was, no amount of fighting for our relationship was likely to help.
“What if you surprised her with something? Flowers, maybe? Or jewelry.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I agreed, fighting back bitter tears as I cleared my throat. “I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”
“You will. You’ll be back together in no time.” His tone was encouraging, and when I finally met his eye, I matched the easy smile he was giving me.
“Thanks. I hope so.”
“And until then, you’re welcome to stay as long as you need. It’s nice having someone else around.”
“I really appreciate that. I’m glad to be here.”
“It’s nice to be with a friend,” he said, his words as serious as if they were a vow.
“It’s nice to be with a friend,” I repeated, though I silently prayed I wouldn’t have to be there long. Elias was nice enough, but I wanted to go home. I wanted to be in my own space with my wife and child. I wanted to let my guard down a bit, and for whatever reason, with Elias, I couldn’t quite do that.
Chapter Five
Around two the next afternoon, my boss stuck his head inside my office, his face ashen, sweat gathered around his wrinkled brow.
“We need to talk,” he said, entering without me welcoming him and taking a seat in front of my desk.
The words sent goose bumps along my arms, my throat suddenly dry. Why did the room feel smaller? “Okay.”
He crossed one leg of his pleated pants over the other. “What I’m about to tell you, I need
