“You’re right, of course,” she said. “We have to do everything we can. I’d never forgive myself if…” She trailed off. “I need him to get better, so whatever you think will help. The clinic sounds nice. Thank you again for talking me through this. I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you, Elias.”
“Of course. I’m always going to be here for you, Addy. Always. I’m just so glad we found each other again.”
She didn’t respond, and I felt my stomach tighten with a wave of nausea again. This time, my body went cold and I knew I was going to be sick, but I couldn’t move. I turned my head slightly, so the vomit wouldn’t suffocate me.
Instead, the foamy bile spewed down my cheek and onto the comforter next to me. I coughed, trying to catch my breath as I felt a new wave coming over me. Again, my body tightened, and I felt the vomit rise in my throat. Just as it left my mouth, the door opened, Addy and Elias hurried toward my bedside, summoned by the noise.
Addy’s face fell, and she looked across the room. “Do you have a washcloth?” she asked Elias, who sprang into action and made it across the room. I heard him sifting around in the bathroom, and a few moments later, he reappeared, handing her the cloth.
She wiped up my face gently, the smell permeating the room. Though I knew she could smell it, she didn’t make a face or mention it at all. “Here you go. It’s okay. Let’s get you cleaned up. Do you think you can stand?”
I tried, but my body was no longer my own. It wouldn’t move, wouldn’t respond to my mental commands. I stared at her, blinking slowly. “Okay, that’s okay,” she said finally. “You don’t have to. I’ll just get you cleaned up this way.” She dutifully wiped up the vomit, walking back and forth to the bathroom and returning with a rinsed cloth each time.
When she disappeared the last time, having cleaned up the remainder of the vomit, I heard her in the bathroom, rinsing out the cloth. “Do you think he got too hot? Maybe we should turn the heat down a bit,” she called.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Elias said, and I realized he was standing right behind me. My body went numb with fear as I tried to turn my head to look at him.
I strained, trying desperately to sit up as sheer terror swam through me.
What was he going to do? Surely nothing with her standing just feet away.
I needed to move. I didn’t want her to see me like this. I didn’t want to be the bed-ridden husband while Elias swooped in and pretended to save the day. But I couldn’t move.
I felt something sharp prick my hip without warning, my body going rigid from the pain. It was white-hot and electrifying, but over in seconds. A shot of some sort.
I felt Elias’ hands on my hip. He patted my side, lifting the edge of my pants back up.
What had he done?
What had he given me?
My vision began to grow fuzzy almost immediately. I needed to tell Addy what had happened.
When her footsteps approached me again, I could no longer see her. The room around me was dark.
No, my eyes were closed without me realizing it.
I was fading fast…
“He’s so tired,” she said sadly in a huff. “Are you sure we don’t need to call a doctor? He’s practically slept for the last twenty-four hours.”
“He’s crashing after not having slept for a week, probably. Trust me, this is normal. We used to call them dark days with Noah, the low lows after the highest of highs. Let him sleep for a while. Then we can take him to the doctor once he’s back to feeling like himself. Trust me, we’re not going to be able to get him out of bed right now. He needs to recover.”
“It’s just not like him. I can’t believe it’s gotten so bad…”
“It comes on suddenly sometimes, and when you don’t recognize the symptoms, or when you’re not looking for them, it can seem sort of normal. You probably just thought he was working so much because he loved it, when it was really a symptom of his mania,” Elias was saying as I felt the fuzzy darkness engulf my brain, wrapping its spindly fingers around my consciousness. “Don’t worry. I’m here now. You’re not in this alone anymore, Addy. You have me. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to take good care of him.”
Chapter Thirty-One
When I came to, it was dark again. I’d given up trying to decipher how many hours or days had passed since my last awake time. Elias was coming in every few hours, under the guise of checking on me, or giving me a drink, and pricking me with whatever he kept sticking in my hip.
Whatever it was, it was powerful enough to keep me immobile entirely, though there were a few times when I’d wake up and feel my fingers tingling. I knew then that he’d waited longer in between doses. If he waited just a bit longer, I’d be able to wake myself up. I’d be able to move.
I’d be able to save myself.
But, like clockwork, he was back. Sometimes I was awake. Sometimes I was half asleep.
This time, though, with my fingers tingling and my eyes open, Elias was nowhere to be found.
I turned my head slowly, my muscles sore from going unused for so long. The apartment was silent all around me. I listened for their voices, for a sign that they were okay. That I wasn’t alone. That she was still with me. But it never came.
I wiggled my toes, tilting my head to look down at them.
If Elias hadn’t given me another dose, I had to believe something was wrong. Where were they?
Maybe he’d forgotten. Maybe they were asleep and he’d missed the newest dose. Maybe she was gone, and
