I rested my hand on the edge of the sink, the cold stainless steel against my palm. There was a time when I would’ve argued with her, but the truth was, I did hear her. I understood what she was saying. I knew I’d messed up and offered more apologies and excuses than actual solutions or effort. I knew she wanted time to clear her head, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be home. I wanted to see her and Rory every day, even if they weren’t ready to forgive me. I wanted to prove how sorry I was, how much I hated what I’d done. I wanted to fight for what we’d built rather than back away and wait for further instruction. It just wasn’t in me. I was a fighter. Determination ran in my blood; it was all that I knew.
She had her back to me, and I watched her shoulders rise and fall with heavy breaths as she finished combining the ingredients for her smoothie into the cup.
“Well, there’s nothing I can say to change your mind then, obviously. I guess I’ll pack a few more of my things,” I said slowly, hoping she’d say that wasn’t necessary. Instead, she nodded, then spun around, and walked straight toward me. For a moment, I stood still, lost in her eyes as she approached me. When she cleared her throat, smoothie cup in hand, I realized what she wanted and stepped out of the way so she could start up the single-serve blender that prepared her breakfast every morning.
“I think that would be good,” she said, no longer meeting my eye as she pressed the button to start the machine.
I nodded, not totally comprehending what she was saying. “O-okay.” I moved away from her, my entire body numb. How was it possible? How had it happened?
When I reached the door, I spun back around. “Hey, I ran into someone at the store today…”
She shut off the blender and looked over her shoulder at me. “Huh?”
“I ran into someone from school. He knew you.”
She waited for me to say something else, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.
“Okay?”
“I don’t know who he was. He was tall and thin with light brownish-blond hair. He seemed to have been close to you and said to tell you hi.”
She shrugged, pulling the cup away from the blender and shaking it. “That doesn’t exactly narrow it down. He didn’t tell you his name?”
“No, he acted like he knew me, but by the time I realized I had no idea who he was, I was too embarrassed to ask. I thought he might’ve been someone I’d met through work, but he remembered you too, so it had to be school. I’m assuming college, but I don’t know that for sure. He remembered me straight away—my name and everything.”
“Well, that wouldn’t be hard,” she said, and I noticed a hint of warmth in her tone.
I eyed her, my thoughts totally free of the man in an instant. Was she flirting with me? “What does that mean?”
“You weren’t easy to forget, Wes. You know that. Track star, top of our class, popular with everything and everyone… There isn’t a person we went to school with who wouldn’t know who you were.”
I felt my lips turning up into a smile I couldn’t fight. Her eyes trailed up my body, as if she was remembering who we once were, and then landed on my face. She sighed, her shoulders heaving with the breath, and pointed toward the door on the opposite side of the room.
“I should go check on Mom. Feel free to pack whatever you need. And if you want me to ask Rory to stay home next Saturday, maybe the two of you could get out and do something together. No promises, but I can try to clear her schedule.”
Coldness swept through me, and I swallowed, taking a half step back as her words registered. The look in her eye a moment ago was gone, and we were back to business. I nodded. “Right… Okay. Yeah, sure, I’ll let you know.”
“We’ll probably head to the store in a few minutes, but don’t feel rushed. Just let yourself out if we’re already gone. Don’t forget to lock up behind you.”
“Will do,” I said, my voice powerless as she turned away from me and walked out of the room. I let my shoulders fall, my chest heavy with frustration and sorrow as I turned away from her and headed down the hall toward the bedroom we’d once shared.
I tried not to look at the pictures of us on the bedroom walls—pictures from happier days—as I packed a bag, fighting back tears as they blurred my vision. The photographs hadn’t been taken down, which told me she hadn’t given up completely, but her words told a different story. She wanted me to get my own place. She wanted me to build a life without her.
My marriage was over.
My life was over.
And I had no one to blame but myself.
If only I’d known my problems had just begun.
Chapter Two
Once Addy and Vivienne had left the house, I decided to treat myself to a shower under the rainfall showerhead I’d had installed two Christmases back. I lathered up, washing and rinsing under the falling water as I tried not to think of the time Addy and I had spent together right where I stood. Admittedly, those times had become less frequent over the past few years, since I’d accepted my most recent promotion, but was she right? Hadn’t I made an effort to make her a priority? I had to work to provide for us, same as she did, but it didn’t change the way I felt about her.
I loved Addy. I’d never stopped loving her. Didn't she know that? My wife had never been needy. We'd been together so long that we didn't require constant reassurance that things were
