I processed his words.
“And don’t be scared about not comin’ back,” he said. “Like ye said, ye’ll be here the majority of each year, other times will be like a holiday for you. Ye couldn’t stay away from Southwold even if ye tried and ye know it.”
Surprised laughter bubbled up my throat as tears slipped from my eyes. Michael smiled, then pulled me into his embrace. I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could and he returned it tenfold.
“I love you,” I told him. “You know that, don’t you?”
“I do.” He kissed my head. “And ye know I love you, right?”
“Right.”
I left Michael’s home feeling lighter and happier than I had in a very long time. I walked back in the direction of the pier and texted Risk where I was going. He went to Mary Well’s for food with the guys while I went to speak with Michael. I wasn’t hungry. I just wanted to walk and breathe . . . I hadn’t been able to breathe this easily for as long as I could remember. When I once again reached my favourite point on the pier, it was dark out. The lights of the pier and shine of the lighthouse burning bright.
My phone pinged.
Risk: When I first came back to Southwold, I began writing a song that was, surprise, about you. I wrote different parts of it when I felt different things. When I was dreading seeing you again, when I was elated to have you as mine for a little while then when I was broken after things ended between us at Wembley and on the pier. I want this song to be the last one I ever write about you that had doubt in it, that has ‘should haves, would haves’ buried in it. I need to close the chapter on my life that had longing and indecisiveness about you. I only want to look to the future knowing that I’ll always see myself by your side and you by mine.
I wrote this for you.
You are the echoes of the heart for me.
You are my Never Enough.
I love you, Cherry.
I clicked into the MP3 link that was attached to the message and with shaking hands, I grabbed my earphones and plugged the pods into my ears. I clicked play, closed my eyes, and the guitar riffs and the beat of the drums surrounded me before Risk’s voice did.
I can’t get enough of your green eyes,
Your soft skin, your sweet smile.
You make my life so much better,
Just by being there, you’re my healer.
My protector, my lover, you know me like no other.
Then a storm rolls in, and you switch it up,
Just to suit when you really give a fuck.
I love you, I show it, you use it against me, and you know it.
I hate you, I don’t need you,
Those are white lies, I can’t breathe without you.
I walk in and you walk out,
You left me, what’s that about?
I begged you, I pleaded,
I laid it all on the line, you wouldn’t believe me.
Would’ve given my life for yours, no thinking necessary,
Would you have done the same for me, my pretty cherry?
But no matter what’s been said or done,
You’ll always be my never enough.
My never enough.
My never enough.
You’ll always be my never enough.
I should’ve told you that, when you trusted me,
When you looked at me, and saw the real me.
I wish everything turned out different,
I wish you had my last name, my children.
You ripped me apart, I came undone,
But if you called me now, you know I’d run.
This happened for a reason, that’s what you told me,
But I can’t justify this, it burns a hole in me.
I miss your red hair, your gentle laugh,
Your hell cat ways, the way you’ve got my back.
I know I fucked it up, but baby you did too,
We’re a match made in hell, I’m meant for you.
Maybe it’s too late, you’ve probably moved on,
But this is one song, I want your view on.
’Cause no matter what’s been said or done,
You’ll always be my never enough.
My never enough.
My never enough.
You’ll always be my never enough.
You’ll always be my never enough.
My never enough.
My never enough.
You’ll always be my never enough.
You’ll always be my never enough.
My never enough.
My never enough.
You’ll always be my never enough.
Tears fell from my eyes. I listened to the song from start to finish eight more times. I sobbed through each replaying. We had been through so much, so much necessary hurt, so much unnecessary hurt but it all brought us to right now. We had done what I always prayed for. We worked through our problems, we didn’t give up and we finally made it to the other side and we were stronger because of it. I lifted my hands, wiped my cheeks then took out my phone.
Frankie: You’re my never enough, too, rock star. You’re my always and forever.
I looked from my phone to the ocean and when I inhaled a breath, I felt like I could do anything. It felt good, really good. I looked down at my phone when it vibrated in my hand.
Risk: You like it?
Frankie: I love it. I’m honestly speechless. I don’t know what to say.
Risk: That’d be a first, I’ve a phone full of messages from you. You type essays.
Frankie: Smartarse.
Risk: A smartarse you’re marrying.
Frankie: Too bloody right I am. I can’t believe you’re going to be my husband, I want to kiss you so bad. Where are you?
Risk: About ten or so metres away from you.
Frankie: It’s going to be so creepy if I turn around and you’re there.
Risk: I was going for romantic.
Frankie: I can’t move.
Risk: I can.
I had just put my phone back into my dress pocket when arms came around my waist, settled on my stomach and a hard body pressed against my back, moulding itself to me.
“I should let you know, sir.” I leaned my head back. “My fiancée is pretty protective of me,
