“Any time now,” Lucian teases.
The big man glares. “I didn’t rush you!”
Lucian’s grin widens, and he opens the sandwich bag beside him and digs out a fresh chocolate chip cookie. It surprised most people that Lucian not only enjoyed cooking so much, but also that he was so good at it. The other students probably saw his formidable parents when they looked at him, but that’s because they hadn’t known him as a boy. They hadn’t seen the child who spent every waking minute with a grandmother who adored him. They hadn’t seen them cooking together and laughing, the sunlight streaming around them like a perfect memory. But I had.
So when I saw Lucian cooking, I knew he was never more true to himself.
It was the same when I saw the look on his face near a campfire. No one else saw the fear in his eyes, but I did.
“Cookie?” Lucian asks, munching his snack and fiddling with the chain of his necklace.
Dwade glared and reached for a chess piece, then froze and dropped his hand again. I almost told Dwade that this wasn’t real. Men and women wouldn’t die if he made the wrong choice, but I swallow the words down. Dwade’s family were known as the Light Warriors. They had protected our kind for as far back as the history books would go. The guy had been raised with the message drilled into his mind that every choice was life or death. Nothing I said would change that.
So, I sigh and lean back further against the trunk of a tree. Usually this would be the moment Rayne and I would exchange a knowing look and start talking about anything else to avoid watching the two. He would find ways to look at the good side of every situation, and before long my mood would change to match his.
But Rayne isn’t here now. The thought makes my gut clench and the darkness that lives deep inside of me rears its head as if to say I’ve lost the only thing keeping me sane. The only person in this place truly capable of standing on the edge with me, but keeping me from falling off.
Maybe without Rayne, I’ll finally just…jump.
I stand, and both men glance in my direction. “I’m going for a walk.”
The humor fades from Lucian’s face. “Are you sure? I think we should try to stick together right now.”
“I’m fine,” I say.
“No you’re not, and neither are we. Especially after seeing Esmeray at the funeral—“
Something settles hard in my belly at the mention of her name. “I’m fine.”
Turning, I stomp away from them, not caring what direction I go. The last thing I want to think about is Esmeray right now. She’s our best friend’s sister, and there’s nothing pure about the way we feel about her. When we were young, there was just a connection. A love and devotion for her like she was our own sister. But when we came back to visit her, those strong feelings changed, and there was nothing brotherly about them anymore.
We’d planned to tell Rayne the truth when she got old enough. But somehow, we always put it off. We always thought we’d have more time. But now, he was gone, and we’d never have his blessing.
It makes my stomach turn just to think about it. One moment all I can do is picture the way they’d said Rayne had died. I’d known something was wrong that night. I’d thought that if I’d gotten to him soon enough, he’d be okay.
But I was wrong.
The next moment I’m thinking about Esmeray. I’d suspected Rayne had gone to our hometown, so I’d checked out his favorite club, hoping he’d gone there for help. When I’d walked into the club, I’d instantly sensed her there. It’d been years since I’d set eyes on her, but the familiar, almost undeniable pull had made me wind deeper and deeper into the club.
And then, I’d stopped.
Across the room was a woman, instead of the girl I remembered. Her hair had looked so damn soft, falling down her shoulders. She’d sat tall and confident, radiating a sexual energy that made my blood boil. The dress she’d worn was criminal, not something one of our kind should have been out in, but it suited her long legs just fine. The red dress had dipped low in front, showing off far too much cleavage for a room full of other men.
I’d been pulled closer to her. Her face was like a memory of the girl I’d known. Her brows dark, arched over wide grey eyes. Her lips large, with the strangest pouty quality I’d never noticed before.
And then she’d put her hand on the other man’s thigh.
Something inside of me had snapped. A rage unlike anything I’d felt in my life had me wishing I was a dark fae, that I could kill the man with a thought and leave him a soulless body. Never had I imagined that our beautiful Esmeray would be touching other men.
But seeing her there, a twenty-one-year-old woman with long legs, full breasts, and a pouty mouth, I’d raged not just at the man but at myself. Had we imagined she’d spent the last few years playing in the graveyard with her ghosts? No, our beautiful woman no doubt had enjoyed her share of men’s beds.
“Hi, Bron!”
I freeze, coming back to reality. I realize I’m breathing hard, my fists clenched. Anger and jealousy are raging within me like a storm. But luckily for me, I had walls around my emotions so every fae here wouldn’t be aware of my turbulent emotions.
A woman races up to me. A blonde with painted lips and a long flowing dress. She looked like every light fae at this school, pretty, but unremarkable. “I’m so sorry about Rayne.”
I stare at her. Why was she sorry about him? I’m pretty damned sure if she knew him, she didn’t know him well. But then, I guess her response was just the kind
