I sobered at his tone. “I’m sorry. It’s just…very big. You couldn’t have just gotten an apartment?”
He glanced sideways at Sophie. “Take a look outside.”
Sophie and I raced to the huge window. There was enough ledge for me to climb on and sit down if I wanted. It was early evening. The sky was a canvas of molten fire over the tree canopies. I scanned the horizon for a hint at what Basil wanted me to see. Beside me, Sophie inhaled. Turning, I looked to the far left where she was craning her neck. What I had thought was the filtered sunset through the branches was actually fire burning atop guard towers.
“We’re inside the Reserve,” Sophie said.
“Yes,” Basil said.
“Why so much security?”
“Just in case.”
My lips pressed together. It wouldn’t be enough. If what Giselle could do was anything to go by, a castle inside the Shifter Reserve wouldn’t do all that much. I said so to them. Sophie shook her head.
“This isn’t just the Reserve,” she said. “It’s the section designated to the human population. The mates and children who have some humanity in them. They’ve all been trained to fight.” I glanced sidelong at Basil. He came to stand beside me, his palms pressed against the ledge.
“I don’t like it,” I said. He knew I wasn’t referring to the mansion. There was no way I could accept being safe if it meant a barrier of innocent people could get hurt. Sophie and I traded a glance. I’d told her the real reason why I’d had to stay away from Kai. I could tell from the look in her eye that we were on the same wavelength.
I had tried to suppress Professor Mortimer’s revelation about the dead language Lucifer was using in his circles. Now that I had some time to breathe, it resurfaced with a vengeance. No humans could protect me against the Morning Star when he came for me.
“Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t like,” Basil said. “Will you stay?” Spoken like a true adult. I wondered if the free spirit we’d grown to love inside the woollen doll had been an apparition. I had a sinking feeling there was something else he wasn’t telling me. I didn’t have the brain capacity to take another emotional hit right now.
“Okay,” I said. “But on one condition. We have Christmas here. And I get to invite anyone I want.”
“Fine. But they better not mess up the new upholstery.”
He was not at all impressed when he saw the guest list.
46
Convincing Nora and Mani to change the venue of our Christmas celebration was a cakewalk. I discovered the art of using the poor homeless girl routine. It worked like a charm. But for some reason, my hands were clammy when I went to invite the last person on my list.
I had to locate him by MirrorNet because two days out from Christmas, Kai had gone MIA. Nobody was more surprised than I was when the mirror swirled and his image came into view. Behind him was the wall of portraits he’d once shown me in the Seraphina archives. His eyes were hooded. I felt like there was ash in my mouth. Suddenly, the bright idea I’d had seemed a touch inappropriate. It occurred to me just how big a concession it had been for him to offer me this gift. And now I was going to ask for more.
“Blue.” A shiver ran down my spine. “Something wrong?”
I cleared my throat. Something shifted in the quality of light behind him. It cast a shadow over the right side of his face. He had a five o’clock shadow. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”
He shrugged. “Everything is fine.”
Uh huh. And pigs might fly. Mind you, if one did, I might not be all that impressed anymore. “About this white Christmas…”
“I haven’t forgotten.” Was that regret I heard in his voice? A spike of nausea cut into my gut. Why did he offer when he didn’t really want to do it? Nails pricked the insides of my palms. Calm. This mediation thing was working. Rather than get my back up and pick a fight like I normally would, I breathed deep through my nose and tried to look at it from his perspective. That was a mistake because it made what I was about to ask feel all the more insensitive. I reminded myself that in the long run, this might be better for him, even if I had to drag him to the conclusion.
“I…I’ve changed my mind about what I want.”
Suspicion lit up his green eyes. “What does that mean?”
I wanted to lower my gaze. That seemed a deadly mistake right now. Not just because it could be construed as a sign of submission. If ever there was a time for me to act like a badass, it was now. Unfortunately, my limbs felt like they were made of putty. It hadn’t hit me until now just how important it was for him to be here.
“Basil bought a mansion inside the Reserve. It’s huge. I’m having a Christmas party. My first one ever. I’ve invited everybody. I know this is a really difficult time for you, but it won’t be the same if you’re not there. And…” I lost steam as the light died in his eyes. I tried to settle my gaze anywhere but his face.
“Do you know what you’re asking, Blue?”
I swallowed. “Yes, I just thought –”
“I know what you thought. I know what everyone thinks. The thing is, I’d rather not think right now.”
“But –”
“Was there something else you wanted to say to me?”
“Well, no but –”
He turned his head to the side. “I’ll talk to you later then.”
My newfound enlightenment snuffed out. “Don’t you dare hang up on me!”
He made a deliberate show of very slowly placing his palm down over
