Yolanda did snort this time. “You say handful like he’s a cute little kitten. He’s laid out more of our soldiers than the demons have. Especially now that he’s got that blade.”
“My point,” Shayla pressed, “is that Max understands what it means to be an outsider. To be different and struggle to find your place. He would fight for you with every last breath.”
The room in front of me wavered as a crack appeared in my composure. “I know.”
“Then why? Really?”
Why? It was the same question I asked myself in the stillness of the night. And the universe often answered by gifting me nightmares in which Max’s body grew cold in my arms. I would much rather have him alive and despising me than dead.
But when I spoke, it was another truth that slipped out. “It’s my fault that Kai is gone.” Shayla’s fingers caught in the middle of brushing through my hair.
The room was suddenly too quiet except for Durin’s unsettled groaning. Durin who probably wouldn’t be in that state if Kai was still here. If Kai’s disappearance hadn’t placed Raphael into a celestial coma. The way the tiny lines appeared on Yolanda’s face as though she was fighting to keep the snarl from happening told me the thought had occurred to her too.
While they were both caught off guard, I relayed the reason why I believed I was the one at fault. Shayla retracted her hand. Neither of them could keep eye contact with me. Wanting to take it back, I offered up all the things I could think of that I’d done to find him. “I’ve done every kind of summoning possible. We’ve tried sorceresses with the Sight. I’ve bribed demons and paid for divinations. Nobody can find him.”
Out loud it sounded so pitiful. Six months of effort for nothing. Shayla had closed her eyes. I could see her breathing through her nose, the expansion of her chest was laboured.
When her eyes flicked open, they were guarded. “He would still forgive you,” she said. “A mate takes precedence over pack.”
“No, he won’t. How can he forgive me for the destruction of his entire way of life? And even if he does because he’s compelled to by a mating link, I will never be able to forgive myself.”
The first tear streaked down my left cheek. For six months I hadn’t allowed myself to dwell on how Max might react when he found out that it was my fault Kai was gone. But Yolanda and Shayla’s withdrawal gave life to my deepest fears.
Mating link or not, with or without his love for me, Max would be hurt to his very core. And when he looked at me, he wouldn’t be able to help but think about everything that he had lost.
“You tried to help,” Shayla said, clutching at straws. Her mouth was set into a wobbly line.
“So what? Intention doesn’t mean all that much when I’ve doomed the entire supernatural society to a life in pain. I’ve made you vulnerable.”
I swiped a sleeve across my nose. “Sophie,” Shayla said, unable to help herself because of my grief.
Jumping off the couch, I swallowed hard to stop more tears from coming. “I’m sorry. I will find a way to make it up to you.”
Before either of them could say a word, I marched out of the room and to the transportation circle. As I stood there waiting for the magic to kick in, Durin raised his head. His once-dark eyes were now a glowing pair of white lights that mimicked the aura of the seraphim. It reminded me of the glow I’d seen around Professor McKenna. As the magic finally swirled around me, I swore I saw his mouth open. A voice in the far reaches of my mind whispered my name with an agony that could not be contained by a mortal vessel.
37
My dreams were full of the gaping mouths of monsters chained to a place of endless darkness. Everywhere I looked, the malachim rose to the sky, their once-graceful bodies betraying them as they tried to claw their way out of the Abyss. While a part of their consciousness remained their own, the rest was twisted and violated in ways that went against the mandate of their making.
Laughter filled my ears. The same laughter that had plagued me since the first night that I’d left the supernaturals. A voice so heavily steeped in old rage that hearing it in my mortal mind was painful on every level.
“Your time is up, Sophie Mwansa,” it said. “You belong to me.”
The malachim wailed as a hand reached out of the swirling mist and latched hold of the front of my blouse. I tried to fight against it, planting my feet and pushing backwards. But there was nothing to hold onto for purchase. My feet slipped from underneath me as the superior strength of the being dragged me forward. My screams joined those of the malachim as a gaping void swallowed up the floor. My feet hit the perimeter of the void and icy pain shot up my leg. Mist floated up from the ground, stealing my breath and the cry in my throat.
Two figures materialised on either side of me. On my left, Kai stood black-eyed and emotionless. On my right, my great-grandfather watched with glee.
“Time to take your place,” my great-grandfather said. “Time for my bargain to run its course.”
Something speared through my mind. I felt warmth filling my head at the same time a thread of the mating link rose up. Still cloaked in the blood barrier, the mating link stretched with all its might and pushed back against the oppressiveness of the force pulling me forward.
Somebody screamed.
I jolted upright in bed and immediately scented both blood and brimstone. Thumping sounds came from outside my room that was suddenly bathed in a red glow coming from outside the window. Snatching the covers aside, I rolled out just in time for my bedroom door to
