“They are restless,” Raphael said.
“Can’t you heal them?” Max asked.
Raphael shook his head. “They are too touched by the Hell dimension. Their natures are no longer pure. If you choose to do this, Sophie, you should remain in Sanctuary in case.”
“No,” Max said.
“I think you mean, ‘Sophie, what would you like to do?’” I told him.
His nostrils flared. “Sophie, what would you like to do?”
Kai snickered.
I swallowed, looking at the spirits of the malachim who were as fearsome as ever despite being trapped inside the soul circle. They were hauntingly scary. But within that hellish shell, there were frightened souls hiding away. I couldn’t let them suffer.
“I’ll do it.”
Max moved in with me after the first day and shrugged when I asked him who was covering his shift in the Reserve.
After each session, Kai tried as best he could to heal me, but the pain wasn’t physical. The only thing that helped me was time. Kai shoved a hand through his hair after the fourth time. “This is so frustrating,” he said.
I touched his wrist. “I’m human, remember? We don’t get power without a sacrifice of some kind.”
His eyes glazed over. His thoughts were a million miles away.
With Kai’s help, all up the transmuting took three weeks. I was sitting in my room, recovering after the last transfer, when Raphael appeared with a companion. I heard songbirds in my head as Gaia regarded me.
Max walked in from the courtyard and immediately tensed. Raphael placed a hand on his shoulder to stem the growl that was making the room vibrate. The last time Gaia had been around, she’d tried to kill Lex. We weren’t huge fans, even if technically she was my deity.
Gaia gave Max a long look. “Some things were not meant to survive,” she said offhandedly to Raphael. He didn’t stand a chance against her, but Max sure as heck looked like he wanted to try. It was only Raphael that stood in his way.
“Sophie,” Raphael said. “The malachim have a proposition for you.”
I cocked my head to the side. “But they’re all gone.”
After each cleansing, they had disappeared into the aether. I thought Azrael had reaped them. “Not all,” Gaia told me. She waved her hand and two figures of pure white light appeared beside her. The energy radiating from the one on the right was familiar. I recognised her as the malachim that had taken refuge in me during the battle with Apollyon.
“Hello,” I said.
She nodded in greeting.
“Why can’t she talk?”
“It’s uncomfortable for them,” Gaia explained. “Guardian angels communicate through signs and symbols.”
I thought immediately of Haniel who had spoken to me through Professor McKenna, and my heart spasmed. He’d sacrificed himself to help us, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him in the Abyss. Max came to sit beside me, taking my hand and holding it to his lips.
The malachim reached out and touched my other hand. She drew a pattern of vines down my arm. “She has seen what might come and wants to offer you a gift,” Gaia said. “You know the lore of guardian angels?”
I nodded. “During times of dire need,” Gaia said, “they are able to temporarily take over the human they are watching. In some cases, they will sacrifice themselves to save their human’s life.”
I balked. “My life is fine. I don’t want anyone sacrificing themselves for me.”
Gaia bent down so we were eye-to-eye. “And what will happen when the Morning Star rises?” she said. “Do you have what it takes to hold him back?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. The mating link had made me stronger. Max would hold me in place for as long as he could if I needed to use the blood alchemy. But the kind of power she was talking about was beyond my grasp.
Gaia knew that. It was why she was here. “What about balance?” I asked.
She stared at me right in the face, her gaze unwavering and impossible to break. It was almost like she was staring into my soul. I felt myself shuddering, before Max bit out a snarl. Gaia smiled at me and it was free of the touch of insanity that had plagued her in the past. “You will mourn them regardless of this being their decision. That is balance enough.”
I swallowed. “What exactly is going to happen?”
“They will transfer their spirit to you. It will create a buffer for your alchemy so that it won’t erode your soul.”
“Like a permanent possession?”
“Something like that. Except they will no longer exist.”
I squeezed Max’s hand and lamented my own weakness. He squeezed back, his grimace a contained rebuke.
“Don’t let them make you forget who you are, Sophie darling,” he said.
No. I wouldn’t forget. And I wouldn’t compromise myself anymore. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t do it. Not knowing they’ll die.”
Raphael smiled. “Did I not tell you?” he said to Gaia. She dismissed his comment.
“This is a decision that will affect the lives of many,” she said.
“I understand that.”
“I don’t think you do.”
Another figure materialised in the room. I gasped. This tiny place was beginning to fill up with seraphim. Michael glided up to us. “Why did nobody inform me there would be a transfer?”
“Apparently there won’t be,” Raphael said.
They traded glances. Michael knelt in front of me. He was still too tall, even on his knees. “I won’t let them sacrifice themselves for me,” I told him
