"There is a reason--" I start to explain, and her look of pure horror and embarrassment cuts me off.
"I'm sorry. I mean, if it seemed like I was coming on to you... I sort of thought you might...that there might be someone. It makes sense! And I never asked. And it's not like you led me on. Actually it explains a lot."
I've never seen her just tripping over her words like this. Her cheeks are bright pink, and she's holding her eyebrows up high, like she's trying to keep all her crazy emotions in check.
When she looks directly at me her eyes are so fiercely honest, I feel like I took a boot to my ribs. "I had that happen...I was cheated on. And I would never, ever do that to someone else. I mean, I'd never put someone in that position."
She was cheated on? What fucking loser would cheat on a girl like her? And why is she bringing up...
"What?" I ask, but my confusion clears up as soon as the word is out of my mouth.
Cheating? She must think I have a steady girl. This is the perfect time to go with it. It would explain so much without me coming off looking like an asshole. It's my chance to walk away, no strings, and know that she doesn't hate me.
I'm ready to agree with her entire misunderstanding.
But I open my mouth and say, "Evan, I don't have a girlfriend."
Relief floods her eyes and she lets all her breath out at once. "Oh, good. That's so good. I was feeling like such an ass since I asked you." But the relief blots out as soon as she realizes there's still some reason I didn't say yes. "And you still don't have to go, of course. It was just a friendly invitation, okay? No pressure. But if you have something else, some big reason, it's okay."
She slams the file cabinet shut with a little too much force again, and I pull close to her like she's an industrial magnet and I'm a heap of scrap metal.
I should let it lie, should let this whole thing fizzle out before it blows the hell up in my lap. I look at her so I can tell her, to her face, without being a pussy, that I can't, and I fully intend to stand firm and just spit it out.
But all my stupid intentions crumble under my feet.
The look in her eyes is the perfect cocktail of self-assured sexiness and vulnerable worry, and it brings out my swagger.
"I'm not letting you buy me dinner. We'll go out, but it's on me."
Her long hair sways back and forth when she shakes her head.
"I asked you. My terms or nothing."
She bites her bottom lip a little to stunt the smile.
Even though every logical brain cell in my skull screams at me for doing it, I take a giant step over the line of good fucking sense, and land my ass flat in no man's land with my next brilliant statement.
"I've never let a girl pay for a date before, and I'm not starting with you."
She files a few folders, and I keep my hands busy making piles of paperwork without really seeing what I'm doing, because I'm waiting on her answer.
"No one said this was a date, Winch. Let me pay, and we don't have to go there."
Her voice is smooth and, to anyone who isn't paying close attention, it would sound like she's completely in control. But I've spent hours watching this girl and trying to figure out exactly makes her tick. I know she's playing cool.
I should lose her. Drop this. Let it go.
I keep giving myself this same damn speech, then I let myself drift a little bit further. This is just trouble waiting to happen, but it's been a long time since I got into any trouble of my own. I've been so busy picking up the pieces for other people, and being around Evan, I've started realizing for the first time in a long time how much I want something for me.
Something that's all mine.
It occurs to me that she can be mine, at least for a little while. No one else has to know. No one else has to have any say.
It's stupid. It's risky. But I want this to work, even if I know it can't, really.
I reach over and pull the folder out of her hand, tug her to me so we're eye to eye. I watch her throat move when she swallows and the way her lips tremble, and I have to stop myself from kissing her here and now.
"I don't do things halfway. Come out with me on a date. I pay, and we go wherever you want."
Her lips part. She's got a tiny overbite, and it makes her lips puff out, like an invitation. "Are you sure?"
I rub my thumb over her knuckles just to see if her breath will catch, and my jaw clenches when it does. The things I'm going to do with this girl...
"Never been more sure in my life."
I check the gold watch my dad gave me, passed from his grandfather, a reminder of who I am and exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
Taking Evan out is not on that long, complicated list of who I'm expected to be, but, right now, I don't give a damn. "We've got twenty minutes before this shift is over. I'll be back to get you then, okay?"
I pull my hand out of her grasp and walk backward to the door just because I love the way she looks, and I don't want to stop looking yet. Her eyebrows furrow low over her eyes.
"Where are you going?"
"Some mean-ass girl told me I stink. I'm going to wash up."
I grin at the out-of-focus look on her face and wonder if her brain went there, to hot, soapy showers and slippery
