I had completely forgotten. Shaking my head, I shrug, trying to find the least awkward way to respond. “No. I can’t. I won’t—I don’t want to… I’m sorry.” Okay, that was still pretty awkward. With my cheeks flushed in frustration, I move to exit the room.
“Sophie!” Zack says angrily. “You can’t walk out on a conversation like this. At least give me a fucking reason.”
“I don’t have time,” I call back as I grab my keys and purse. When I turn around, I am startled to find Zack standing very close. He is looming over me, all six feet three inches of him, and blocking my path. I take a step back instinctively, wondering if he is going to hurt me.
Zack grabs my shoulders with his very large hands and looks me squarely in the face. My insides constrict in fear. Recoiling and twisting away violently, I toss my purse aside and lift my keys to defend myself.
“Sophie,” Zack says in surprise, lifting his hands in a gesture of peace. “I’m not… I just want to say a few words before you leave.” He pauses, looking at me in amazement. “You really think I’d hurt you?”
“I don’t know,” I say quietly, but I have already been glancing around the room and searching for every item within reach that could be used as a weapon.
Zack sighs and moves to sit on the bed, looking defeated. “You know, you’re right to refuse. You shouldn’t marry me.”
Taking several deep breaths, I lower my keys. “Then why’d you ask?”
“You’ve been so distant. I didn’t know what to do. I thought I was losing you.”
He isn’t totally wrong. Feeling guilty, I move to sit beside him on the bed, and we share an uncomfortable silence.
“I screwed up, Sophie,” he says softly. “It’s been eating me up inside, and I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I’ve done something really terrible to you.”
“Zack…”
“I lied to you,” he says haltingly. “I have been lying to you.”
When he turns to look at me, I realize that my stomach is doing flip-flops and my heart is beating erratically. “Zachary. Tell me. Fucking tell me what you lied about.”
“Your brother—he has been writing you letters. But I kept them from you.”
“What?”
Zack nods, unable to meet my eyes. “I was jealous. He’s this big shot CEO and I am lucky if I get freelance work now and then to keep us afloat. I read some of the letters he sent you, the ones you kept in the nightstand… I can tell that he’s in love with you. You and I never have conversations like that. I just wanted you to talk to me for a change. I hoped that if I kept the letters it would improve our relationship. I thought that if you kept communicating with him… you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. You would never want to get married.”
My head begins to throb and I press my palms against my eyes. “Zack. God.” Anger surges inside me, but I manage to just barely keep a cork on it. “Just... dammit. Did you read the recent letters? Is he okay?” I try to appear normal, but on the inside, I am paralyzed by the weight of this news. My brain hurts with the effort it takes to process this, and my emotions are going haywire. I try to breathe slowly and calmly to keep from hyperventilating.
“He… doesn’t seem to be doing well. There are issues with the business,” Zachary explains. “He was saying that he thought someone was trying to sabotage his work, or maybe even hurt him.”
“Who?” I demand. “Did he say who?”
“He doesn’t know. He was asking if you could fly to L.A. to help him out. Do you see why I didn’t want to show you those letters? I had this sick feeling that if you went to California, I would lose you forever.”
I clench my fists until my nails dig into my palms. “Zack, my brother’s in trouble—and you hid this from me?”
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” he says softly.
“You asshole!” I hiss as tears of rage flood my eyes. Adrenaline courses through me, and I rise to my feet, hands twitching with the desire to punch him in the face. It takes great discipline to restrain my anger, and my whole body trembles with the effort. “Cole is the only family I have, and you kept him from me!”
“I know,” he says with pleading eyes. “To be honest with you, Soph, I feel threatened by him. Ever since I lost my leg, I’ve just felt… inadequate. I feel like I’m only half a man.” He places a hand on his thigh to illustrate his point, and to remind me that there is no flesh and bone under his sweatpants.
Of course. Every time Zack does something to upset me, he blames it on the fact that he is an injured vet. This one’s going a little too far. I know that it does affect him, and I’ve seen him completely break down and cry on occasion, but I have been there for him. I have held him and reassured him, and forgiven all of his transgressions due to this overused excuse. I am starting to realize that being an amputee shouldn’t mean he automatically gets to be a dick. He doesn’t get to take away part of me just so he can feel more whole.
“You’re just so close to him, Soph,” Zachary says as though it gives him pain. “And you guys have so much history together! Can you forgive my jealousy? I just didn’t want to lose you.”
I find myself staring at him with my face twisted up in disgust. “You’re a real piece of work, Zack. Cole saved my life. I don’t know if I’d even be here if it weren’t for him. He’s the only person who ever... It doesn’t matter. Do you know how miserable I’ve been? You let me think that my
