Seb wanted nothing more than to preserve that very moment in his memories for the rest of his days. Because he was realistic enough to know that the night they’d just shared would probably never be repeated. And he felt like raging at the fates for being born a bastard.
If only he’d been from a respectful family he could have woken up with Lady Olivia every day. But he wasn’t; his bastard of a father had seen to that.
It was a fact Seb had to accept, and quickly, too. He knew Livie was coming to mean something to him, something important. And he couldn’t let that happen. He had too many enemies who would take advantage of such a weakness, trying to destroy him through her.
There was no way he was going to ever allow that to happen again.
Steeling his resolve and his heart, Seb reached out and turned the knob of the lamp sitting on his bedside table until its soft light illuminated the room.
He glanced back at Livie and couldn’t help but stare at her for a moment more. She was kind and sweet and had chosen to save his sister over herself. The woman was a goddamn angel as he’d thought her to be when he’d first seen her.
A woman filled with such light and goodness had no place in his world. The darkness and the decay at the heart of the Rookeries wouldn’t be able to resist trying to drag her down and obliterate the light shining within her.
Gently, he began to shake Livie awake.
For a moment, as she blinked her eyes open and glanced around the room, she appeared slightly disoriented, until she saw him and smiled. He felt like laughing when her smile was replaced with embarrassment as she glanced down at her nakedness and her cheeks flamed red. She was probably remembering all they’d been doing to each other over the past few hours.
“You need to get back to your bed, Livie,” he stated, without any trace of emotion. Best she learn now that what they’d done, though pleasurable, meant nothing to him. Liar, a voice in his head whispered. He ignored the voice. “It will be morning soon, and if you’re found here with me, you’ll be ruined.”
Panic flared in her eyes for a moment. “Oh yes, of course.” She glanced around the room before returning her attention back to him. “Sebastian?”
“Yes?”
He had to get her out of here. Lying there, naked underneath the silk sheet, she was far too tempting for his peace of mind, and his damn cock was already starting to stir again.
God! What was it about this woman that made him lose control of himself? It had never happened before with any other woman he’d bedded, so why was Livie so different? Maybe it was because she was a duke’s daughter and part of him was taking some sort of perverse pleasure in wanting her when he understood he could never really have her.
But he knew that wasn’t the case. It was her. Pure and simple. She was like a drug in his system that he’d become addicted to before realizing he was.
And in situations like that, one had to simply go cold turkey.
“Can we do that again?”
Seb felt every part of his body clench in desire with her words. He closed his eyes tightly and focused on breathing in and out steadily for a minute. “No, Lady Olivia, we can’t do that again.”
“Lady Olivia?” She looked suddenly confused. “What is wrong? Did I do something to displease you?”
“No, of course not.” He was already making a mess of it.
“Then why are you being so formal? Did you not enjoy what we did?”
“Men always enjoy it, Olivia, that’s why we do it.” He swung his feet over the side of the bed and walked to where his trousers had been discarded. Putting them on, he glanced back to her. “It makes little difference who it’s with.” Liar, the voice accused again. “And one can even pleasure one’s self. You should try it sometime, you’ll enjoy it.”
A gasp of shock or outrage left her lips, and her mouth opened wide. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?” He growled as he swung his cotton shirt over his shoulders and began buttoning it.
“Being so cruel after what we just shared.”
“It’s not cruel, it’s just reality.” He hated himself right then for hurting her, but what else could he do? He had to bring a sense of reality back to their situation, for both of them, before unattainable dreams could gather momentum. He threw her nightgown across to her. “And if you don’t want anyone to see you naked when I escort you back to your room, I suggest you put that on.”
Livie shoved her arms into the garment, the expression on her face more furious than Seb had seen on her before. “Really, so all that we just shared meant nothing to you? Nothing at all?”
“Don’t get me wrong.” He shrugged. “It was pleasurable. But did it mean more to me than the other occasions I’ve bedded a woman? Not really, no.” And that was the biggest lie of all, because never in all of his years had bedding a woman ever felt even a fraction as good as he’d felt bedding Livie.
Every single inch of her body had turned him on. Even her scar was a delight, curved across her gorgeous thigh. Hell, part of him was jealous of the thing, always getting to caress her and be next to her. But if he admitted any of that, she’d get the wrong idea. She’d
