David made perfect sense. He was cute, fit, and a nice guy. His life was dedicated to athletics, which meant he’d understand her life also being dedicated to athletics. There couldn’t be a more perfect match. There was just one problem.
There was nothing there. No spark, no cutesy little romantic voice in her ear saying he could be the one or even a horny little succubus saying a flexible and strong man could make for fun. There was nothing on paper wrong with David, but her mind didn’t want her to say yes.
No. It was deeper than that. It was almost like her soul didn’t want to say yes.
Kendra took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I-I’m sorry, David. I feel like I’ve led you on. I’m flattered, and I like totally dig all those nice things you said about me, but I’m not looking for anything right now.” She looked down. “I’ll find a new place to do my training until the competition.”
“No.” David shook his head and put up his hands. “Please don’t. You didn’t lead me on. I took a shot, and I missed. It happens, and it’s not your fault.”
“You’re sure?” Kendra looked up, her stomach in knots. “I understand if things are awkward.”
“I would have loved the opportunity to date Kendra Champion,” David said, “but there’s no way I want to turn down you advertising my place.”
“Thanks, and I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for.”
Kendra stuck her hands behind her and backed up. “I think I’m going to get in a jog. I picked this place with a reason. You’re close to Central Park, and I found a list of decent jogging paths.”
“Oh, yeah, they’re great, as long as you stick to the day.”
Kendra winked, some of her normal playfulness returning, though the embarrassment lingered. “I don’t like going anywhere after dark.”
* * *
Kendra fell into a steady rhythm, enjoying the Zen that came with a decent run. The truth was she didn’t really want to jog. She’d put her legs to the test during her bouldering excursions at Walls and Falls, but it also was too awkward to stay there after shooting David down.
She’d give him credit. He’d taken it more gracefully than the last couple of men she turned down.
She’d not thought about it much during her conversation with Graham, but the main reason she was alone wasn’t because she couldn’t find people or that men thought she was too intimidating. That was just the excuse she told herself.
The truth was she ran into guys like David all the time. They asked her out, and she came up with a reason to turn them down, an excuse like Graham mentioned. Then she filed it away in some deep, dark corner of her memory like it didn’t even happen. She wasn’t sure if that meant she had high standards or was just a bitch. Probably a bit of both.
She didn’t want to lie to herself anymore. If she wanted to have any hope of finding a man, she needed to accept she was a major part of the problem.
Kendra shook her head. It wasn’t wrong to have standards. It wasn’t wrong to hold out for someone who made your heart flutter like in a story. She didn’t believe in fairy-tale nonsense like love at first sight, though.
Love was like sports and fitness. A woman needed to start with a good base and then apply continual, controlled effort to achieve results, but a big part of success was about being reasonable in her goals.
What were her romantic goals? The more she thought about them, the more she realized she wasn’t sure. Marriage seemed a distant dream, years off, and she wasn’t ready for children for a while, but starting with a decent man who would last more than a couple of dates seemed a good bet.
Kendra stared down at the ground, trying to let the steady rhythm of her shoes on the path and the evenly spaced lines below hypnotize her into calmness. It worked better than she’d hoped and soon she was barely aware of anything other than her running. That was probably why she almost collided with a man.
She jerked her head up, her eyes widening. A huge man with a backpack and easy grin spun out of her way, laughing. She skidded to a stop so suddenly she tripped.
Oh no, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. I’m going to twist something right before the competition! Damn it!
Warm, strong hands caught her. She slowly opened one eye, peeking at her savior and potential victim and then opened both eyes. He looked even larger up-close, though now that she wasn’t running at him like an out-of-control train she could appreciate his handsome face framed by light brown hair. His muscles strained against his t-shirt, but his running shorts let her take in his delicious thighs and calves. This man wasn’t just muscular. He was a muscle god, but she appreciated the obvious functional strength in every part of his form.
He might not be linebacker stout, but he wasn’t small either. He was more a quarterback or running back. Nice. Very nice. Perfect.
The man set her on her feet and let her go, that same easy smile remaining. “You okay?”
Kendra nodded, her eyes still wide. “I’m so sorry. I got lost in thought, and I wasn’t looking where I was going. I could have like totally hurt you.”
The man laughed. “No offense, but I’ve been run into by a lot bigger guys than you, and they bounced off. I think someone would need to launch you from a cannon to have a shot of hurting me.”
“Thanks for understanding.” Kendra managed a chuckle, smiling.
She couldn’t help but let her gaze roam over the body, trying hard not to stare at his crotch and wondering what that
