“I noticed. A person could read that body language from across a stadium.” Graham smiled. “I tried to give him space for the attempt, but I also knew you’d probably turn him down, and I didn’t want to embarrass the poor guy.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Kendra munched on her kale and swallowed before continuing. “It’s not just about being horny.”
“I know. You’ve told me, and I believe you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship. We both know I was extra bitchy before I met Kevin.”
“It’s been a while now, and I don’t have anyone to blame but myself,” Kendra said. “It’s not like I don’t want a relationship, and I’ve had good times in the past when I have. I can’t even say any of my relationships ended badly, but they always end up feeling fake somehow, and that feeling has only gotten worse these last few years.”
Graham nodded. “And it’s been easy for you to throw yourself into work.”
“Exactly.”
“You might be making this harder than it needs to be.”
“How so?” Kendra asked.
“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with accepting a guy might not be your forever guy.” Graham shrugged. “I’ve always played it breezy at the beginning of my relationships. I didn’t even like Kevin the first time I met him. You’re overthinking your men and making it harder to even get started. You don’t need to be planning your reception and picking out a wedding dress before the first date.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what’s it like?” Graham raised an eyebrow. “I want you to be happy, girl, but for you to be happy, you need to be honest, not with me but with yourself. If you don’t even know what you want, you can’t go after it properly.”
“That’s just it. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I still am confused.” Kendra set her fork down. “Turning David down made sense. He’s not my preferred type, and I didn’t see a problem being a little picky.”
Graham nodded slowly. “Yes, and…?”
“When I was in the park earlier, I ran into this gorgeous guy. Ridiculous. I know you don’t like them all big and burly, but he was like my perfect example of a man. Right size, great smile, all that. If you asked me to draw you a picture of my dream man, it would have looked just like that guy.”
“Okay,” Graham replied. “I get that. Nothing better than a hot guy, but we’re both not kids anymore. There’s a lot more to dating than looks.”
“I know, I know. I’m just saying it’s not all that often that I run into, basically literally, the man of my dreams.” Kendra shrugged.
“Wow,” Graham said. “You’re lucky. Is that what’s gotten you so torn up? If you’re worried about the competition, I’m sure he’ll be willing to wait a few days.”
“The dream’s become a nightmare already.” Kendra groaned and lay her head on the table. “I’m sure he would have been willing to wait before I ran him off by being a prickly bitch.”
Graham waved a hand dismissively. “On your worst day, girl, you’re not a prickly bitch.” He snickered. “I can be a prickly bitch. You max out at mildly annoyed stuffed toy.”
“Ha-ha. Okay, so I ran him off by being a mildly annoyed stuffed toy.”
“I’m trying to make you feel better, but do go on. What exactly did you do that was so unforgiveable?”
“I thought he was talking down to me, so I kind of snapped at him.” Kendra kept her head on the table and started moving a saltshaker back and forth with her hand.
“Did you cuss at him?” Graham asked.
“No,” Kendra said. “I kind of yelled at him. Not like real yelling, but semi-yelling.”
“Stuffed toy.” Graham folded his arms and nodded firmly. “Let’s assume worst-case scenario. Any potential openings?”
“I invited him to the event, but I’m sure he’s not going to come now just to watch prickly bitch Kendra.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Graham replied. “A lot of men like a little fire in their women.” He winked. “And a big, athletic guy like that probably wants a woman who can keep up with him, not some quiet mouse.” He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if you were rude. He’s got your number, and he’ll call you eventually. I guarantee it. Even if you were a pricky bitch, you’re a hot prickly bitch.”
“Says my gay best friend. I don’t know if that’s filling me with confidence.”
“I can appreciate feminine charms.” Graham shrugged. “And I’m sure park boy can, too.”
“There’s a big problem with your plan.”
“Whatever you doubt, don’t ever doubt how attractive you are,” Graham said in a serious voice. “I don’t care if I’m your gay best friend. It’s the truth.”
“That’s not the problem.” Kendra knocked over the saltshaker and groaned. “The problem is he doesn’t have my number. I never gave it to him.”
“Okay. We can work with it. He can send a message on one of your videos, or email through the channel.”
“He didn’t know who I was, and I mentioned the channel, but I didn’t make it clear it was an internet thing. I doubt he’s going to search the net for me. It’s over. I scared off my dream hunk.”
Graham picked up his soda and took a long drink. Kendra was having strips of baked chicken breast and her salad, while he downed a greasy burger, fires, and a soda so big it would have been illegal under the old NYC laws. Sometimes Kendra wondered how he could eat like that all the time and not gain any weight. Carrying the camera around must have been great exercise.
“Why didn’t you ask for his number?” Graham asked.
“Because he’s the guy,” Kendra insisted.
Graham smirked. “Oh, the guy has to do it?”
“Sure, in your case, too, right?
