“I asked them all to keep quiet about everything. I just want to forget it ever happened!” Cyrus’s hands ball into fists, then he huffs and drops his head. “Don’t trouble yourself over those things, Iris. I survived. That’s all that really matters in the end. The pain was manageable most of the time. I mean, I’ve been around you most of my life, so I’ve already had practice in dealing with difficult people.” Cyrus grins at his barb, but the haunted look never leaves his eyes. I can see the shiver in his muscles, and I can feel the quaking rustle of his breath. “The Vibría monster was different. It…made me question reality. I lost track sometimes of what was an illusion and what was truth. That was the worst part of it all, I think.”
My body turns without my conscious thought, my hands resting on either side of Cyrus’s cheeks as I exclaim, “Cyrus, if I had known how bad it was going to be—”
“I…I do not blame you.” Cyrus smirks at my amazed expression, quickly adding, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I did hate you a little during the lucid moments when I was enduring it all. And I truly believed that maybe you intended for Wolf to hurt me. I even suspected that this was all part of a plan you and my brother had concocted. But now that it is over…,” Cyrus brushes his fingers over one of my wrists, forcing my hand to stay in place on his cheek as he whispers, “I see that you never intended me harm. And in the end, it all worked out for the best. All the Cadogans we found at the House of Piranhas would have been lost if you had not come there searching for me. Many lives were saved by the way the events unfolded.”
“I wish I could be as forgiving of myself as you are to me,” I admit, swallowing against the sob trying to claw its way out of my throat. “All I see is that I caused you unimaginable pain. I don’t think I can ever apologize enough.”
Cyrus stares at the spot where his hand wraps around my wrist, his fingers tracing the Dadeni lines that glitter on my skin. He raises his eyes to mine, giving me a small, intimate smile. My cheeks blush under his close inspection. “Iris, I’m going to ask you something, and I don’t want you to get upset. I want you to know that I’m thinking of a time way off in the future, nothing immediate.”
“Go on,” I shiver, already suspecting what he wishes to know.
“Do you think there will ever be a day when you will want me? I mean, I know what the Ddraigs say about our future and that it’s inevitable for us. But if circumstances were different…do you think you could ever have chosen to love me of your own accord?” Cyrus looks away, staring at the horizon as he finishes this speech, waiting patiently for my answer. “I’m not pushing for anything romantic between us, Iris. I just want to know where I stand in your eyes.”
Where you compare against your brother, I almost accuse, biting my tongue to keep the words from breaking the tentative trust that’s built between us tonight. My heartstrings snarl at his words. It is a tooth grinding, bone jarring sensation, as though I’ve just heard a discordant note played in the middle of an otherwise perfect song. Thoughts jumble in my mind, mixed emotions and past regrets boiling up to the surface as I consider the conundrum sitting beside me.
“I…I feel so many different things toward you that I’m not really sure how to answer you,” I begin, hating the way I see his shoulders droop. “In the House of Vultures, all I saw in you was weakness. I thought of you as a tyrant, and I loathed you every time I thought of you. Then, after Warbler….” My words die off as the face of my old friend floats back into my mind. “I hated you as much as I hated myself for what happened to her. But I saw something different in you the night of the wake when you spoke so kindly of her. It was a softer side that I didn’t think you could possibly have in your personality. It made me question whether I had judged you too harshly. And then our world was upended by the Ddraigs. I became so conflicted, especially after everything was revealed by the Carreglas. You aren’t weak at all; in fact, you’re probably the strongest man I’ve ever met. You were a lifeline to me when I was just a child, staring out my window. And you’ve been an invisible, unsung hero that has protected me ever since.”
“My Child of the Moon,” Cyrus interrupts, one hand brushing my ivory hair. “Now a woman of starlight and cosmic fire.” Cyrus’s fingers trail down to my shoulder, toying with the ends of my hair as he listens to my speech.
Speaking so much of my heart makes me feel vulnerable. Yet, I force myself to continue because I owe Cyrus my honesty. I owe him everything, I admit to myself, as the memories of our childhood rush back to me. My voice continues to pour out my feelings, and I do not shrink from the words, even as they lay my soul bare. “When the Carreglas showed me your grief on the rooftop that night after I’d killed Creeper, I realized you were playing a part, hiding your true feelings under the mask of leadership. You secretly loathed Creeper and Falcon. You hid behind your well-crafted lies. I saw my own reflection in you. And I knew you were doing it all to keep me alive.”
“To be fair, I acted that part for the rest of our housemates as
