What could she say? She needed so dreadfully to get away from that awful place, from Dolly and her lifestyle, but to have him pay for her? Again came the thought, in time what reward would even the kindest man begin to look for? And would she feel obliged to yield to his requests out of gratitude?
‘What would you expect of me in return?’ The nagging question sprang into words before she could prevent them.
In the vehicle’s dim interior she felt him turn slowly to look at her. ‘Is that really what you think of me, Madeleine?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she blurted out. ‘I don’t know why I said it.’
‘You thought it, my dear, or you wouldn’t have said it.’
She could see herself in danger of losing him. ‘It’s just that I feel so vulnerable, living alone in London. I’ve never been on my own before.’
She sensed his tension melt away. ‘My dear, you need not be alone.’
His voice had grown deep and gentle, almost fatherly. ‘If you allow, I will always be here for you whenever and if ever you should need me. I will never ask anything of you if that is what you fear. I am as much in need of a friend as you. Since my wife passed away I have been very lonely. I have any number of business acquaintances, but they are purely that, acquaintances. I am wealthy and as such tend to attract hangers on, social climbers, but I do not enjoy social events all that much. I look forward to my home after an evening of it. The truth is that in the midst of company I am indeed lonely.’
He paused then continued. ‘I need someone to be a friend, a true friend, who does not expect to gain from me. If you’ll forgive me, my dear, I want to say that I deem you to be that person.’
She made no reply but on an impulse let her hand slowly reach out to him across the seat, a tiny pang of happiness flooding over her as she felt his fingers immediately curl around hers in a warm, firm grip.
After a while, he said, ‘There is still the matter of the embarrassment of my financing better accommodation for you. I do understand, my dear,’ he went on when she made no reply.
‘Therefore, I feel some other arrangement would better suit you.’
The pause left her wondering what arrangement he was talking about but she could think of no way of asking.
‘I know this may sound a little premature,’ he was saying, ‘and I will understand if you feel you need to refuse, but I feel it might be a solution to the problem if I asked…’ He hesitated then plunged on. ‘If I asked if you would consider marrying me?’
Madeleine was stunned, even wondering if she’d heard him correctly. She had known him for so little time. How could she even dream of marrying someone almost forty years older than her? Old enough to be her father, no, she could never do that. One day a young man would come along and they would marry and have babies…
That thought pulled her up sharply. She had a baby, one they had taken from her at the moment of its birth and for whom she’d catch herself pining at the least unforeseen moment; a baby she would do anything to trace and claim back.
Even now that empty ache came back into her breast and with it another thought. To ever be able to trace her, it would take a lot of money. Not in a million years would she ever be able to save up that sort of money. But James had money – had told her that he was a wealthy man. Nor had he frowned upon her when she’d told him that as a result of her own innocence she’d borne an illegitimate child. Now he was asking her to marry him. Were she to accept, there’d be enough money and more to trace her baby. But could she bring herself to marry an old man, for that?
He was kind, generous, of a pleasant nature, easy to get on with, she liked him, but she didn’t love him. But what did that matter. He promised security, the chance of a good life. He hadn’t said that he loved her merely that he needed companionship but was that sufficient for her to accept this offer of marriage? To get her baby back, yes, it was.
‘It would be a solution,’ she said quietly, answering his last question.
She felt him sit back in his seat. ‘Then that will be arranged,’ he said quietly. The rest of the journey passed in silence.
Nine
A sense of anticlimax stole over Madeleine as with an almost exaggerated show of disinterest Dolly glanced at the band of five large diamonds on the third finger of the hand that she’d held up for Dolly to see.
‘My, that must’ve cost him a pretty penny! You certainly know how to land on your feet, but I suppose you know all about that. Connections, that sort of thing.’
The tone was almost spiteful, but what had she expected – genuine excitement, Dolly falling over herself with profuse congratulations? Even so, knowing the girl’s hardly disguised attitude of envy ever since she’d told her about herself and James, Madeleine felt her own resentment rise, hearing her ratty echo, ‘Connections?’ laying emphasis on the word.
Dolly shrugged. ‘Well, people like you, brought up posh and all that, they always manage to fall on their feet, don’t they?’
‘I
