He surveyed each of the grieving women. ‘If you are ready, we should get started,’ he said gently.
As everyone made to leave, Julia said, ‘I’m so sorry about all this,’ as if something quite trivial had spoiled the evening.
‘Please don’t be, my dear.’ Mr Morrison’s smile was no doubt meant to give comfort as he took her offered hand. ‘I should be the one to apologize for intruding at such a sad time. If there is anything we can do, anything at all…’
Julia shook her head. ‘Thank you, Mr Morrison, there’s nothing. But it is kind of you to ask. I do appreciate it.’
‘Not at all, my dear girl, and you’ll inform us when the funeral…’
She gave him no time to finish. ‘Yes, of course.’
‘Chester will be with you at the hospital.’
‘Yes,’ she replied automatically, leaving an uneasy pause into which his voice burst like a small explosion.
‘Well, we’ll be off. I pray God give you fortitude, my dear, and comfort you all.’
‘Thank you,’ she whispered, trying not to break down as his wife came to kiss her cheek. Mrs Morrison’s efforts to offer them her condolences served only to incite a fresh bout of weeping from the bereaved woman and she moved away as if relieved to have that job over and done with.
Suddenly Julia wanted to be rid of them. All she wanted now was to have Chester to herself. Had it not been for him she wasn’t sure what she would have done, how she would have coped.
As she and Chester conducted her future in-laws to the front door, Julia wondered how her family was going to fare with her father no longer there to look out for them. But as the Morrisons’ car moved off while Chester stood with his arm tightly and protectively about her waist, to show that he was here for her and would always be here for her, all she knew was that she wanted so desperately to be married; to be safe, to be loved and looked after and not be left to cope alone with her family in their loss. She knew her love for Chester was indeed complete and perfect.
Three
The cloudless sky seemed to mock the sombre black of those gathered at the graveside. Chester’s comforting hand was tightly clasped around hers. His parents were on the far side but he’d made it a point to be with her and her family. Her mother was weeping copiously, stifled sobs issuing from beneath a black veil. Her sisters wept too and her brother James, sixteen and home from public school for the funeral, had his head lowered, but Julia thought only of Chester standing here beside her, comforting her.
At the funeral service, with sunlight streaming through the stained-glass windows of St John’s Church to fall directly onto the coffin, she had listened to the vicar recounting the events of the deceased’s marvellous life. Yet his words hadn’t moved her at all while her mother had almost wilted with grief so that she had had to support her by the arm to prevent her giving way completely.
As for herself she could find no tears for her father. He’d had no real affection for any of his children, except maybe for James. He had been their father in name only as far as she was concerned; she’d never really known him as anything other than a distant, unsmiling figure, more often at his club than at home. Even when he had dined out with business associates he had gone alone. Her mother was uneasy with business people and preferred to spend her time looking after the home or attending her local ladies’ friendship meetings. Even there she had always been nervous of making new friends, and the one or two she did have were more like acquaintances.
Timid, frightened of the outside world, ever wary of saying something wrong and finding herself disliked, she even feared to chastise her own children lest they turned against her. She had preferred to leave that sort of thing to their father, who would exact stern and steady correction. To Julia such occasions had seemed to be the only time he ever made contact with them.
As they had grown older their parents had been keen to keep up with those of their own standing and so the girls had attended a boarding school for young ladies, and their father had remained a stranger. Young Virginia knew him least of all, having only just recently left school. James too, nearly seventeen and still studying, would be leaving school next month to go on to university.
Who would manage their father’s business now he was gone? Most certainly their mother couldn’t. It occurred to Julia that as the eldest child it could be left to her to do whatever was necessary to sort things out and she thanked God she now had Chester to help her. He might even have to manage the business until James was old enough to take over.
All these thoughts went through her mind as she listened to the drone of the vicar’s voice: ‘… earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life…’
Quite suddenly she realized the vacant hole her father would leave in her life, despite having hardly known him when he was alive. In her mind she could see him arriving home in the evenings to hand his hat, coat and umbrella or cane to Mary, never addressing the girl, hardly looking at her.
The umbrella and cane, no longer in use now, stood in the umbrella stand in the hall. Her father’s coat hung above them, his dark trilby on its hook, all looking so lonely now.
Mother had lovingly placed them there after returning home from the hospital that night. Julia wished she’d allow them to be stored away. She would often find her mother standing gazing at them,
