Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

mitts that Dorothy used to wear in the Follies and I had a pair of shoes that did not have any heels on them. So when he introduced us to each other I dropped her a courtesy because I always think it is quite quaint when a girl drops quite a lot of courtesys. So then he left us alone and we had quite a little talk and I told her that I did not seem to like all of the flappers that we seem to have nowadays, because I was brought up to be more old fashioned. So then Mr. Spoffards mother told me that Miss Chapman said that she had heard that I was not so old fashioned. But I told her that I was so old fashioned that I was always full of respect for all of my elders and I would not dare to tell them everything they ought to do, like Miss Chapman seems to tell her everything she ought to do, for instants.

So then I ordered luncheon and I thought some champagne would make her feel quite good for luncheon so I asked her if she liked champagne. So she really likes champagne very very much but Miss Chapman thinks it is not so nice for a person to drink liquor. But I told her that I was a Christian science, and all of we Christian science seem to believe that there can not really be any harm in anything, so how can there be any harm in a small size bottle of champagne? So she never seemed to look at it in that kind of a light before, because she said that Miss Chapman believed in Christian science also, but what Miss Chapman believed about things that were good for you to drink seemed to apply more towards water. So then we had luncheon and she began to feel very very good. So I thought that we had better have another bottle of champagne because I told her that I was such an ardent Christian science that I did not even believe there could be any harm in two bottles of champagne. So we had another bottle of champagne and she became very intreeged about Christian science because she said that she really thought it was a better religion than Prespyterians. So she said Miss Chapman used to try to get her to use it on things, but Miss Chapman never seemed to have such a large size grasp of the Christian science religion as I seem to have.

So then I told her that I thought Miss Chapman was jealous of her good looks. So then she said that that was true, because Miss Chapman would always make her wear hats that were made out of black horses hair because horses hair does not weigh so much on a persons brain. So I told her I was going to give her one of my hats that has got quite large size roses on it. So then I got it out, but we could not get it on her head because hats are quite small on account of hair being bobbed. So I thought I would get the sissors and bob her head, but then I thought I had done enough to her for one day.

So Henry’s mother said that I was really the most sunshine that she ever had in all her life and when Henry came back to take his Mother up to her room, she did not want to go. But after he got her away he called me up on the telephone and he was qiute excited and he said he wanted to ask me something that was very very important. So I said I would see him tonight.

But now I have got to see Mr. Eisman because I have an idea about doing something that is really very very important that has got to be done at once.

May 31st:

Well I and Dorothy and Mr. Eisman are on a train going to a place called Buda Pest. So I did not see Henry again before I left, but I left him a letter. Because I thought it would be a quite good thing if what he wanted to ask me he would have to write down, instead of asking me, and he could not write it to me if I was in the same city that he is in. So I told him in my letter that I had to leave in five minute’s time because I found out that Dorothy was just on the verge of getting very unreformed, and if I did not get her away, all I had done for her would really go for nothing. So I told him to write down what he had to say to me, and mail it to me at the Ritz hotel in Buda Pest. Because I always seem to believe in the old addage, Say it in writing.

So it was really very easy to get Mr. Eisman to leave Vienna, because yesterday he went out to see the button factory but it seems that all of the people at the button factory were not at work but they were giving a birthday party to some saint. So it seems that every time some saint has a birthday they all stop work so they can give it a birthday party. So Mr. Eisman looked at their calendar, and found out that some saint or other was born practically every week in the year. So he has decided that America is good enough for him.

So Henry will not be able to follow me to Buda Pest because his mother is having treatments by Dr. Froyd and she seems to be a much more difficult case than I seem to be. I mean it is quite hard for Dr. Froyd, because she cannot seem to remember which is a dream and which really happened to her. So she tells him everything, and he has to use his