Henry IV, Part II

night in the windmill in Saint George’s field? Falstaff No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that. Shallow Ha! ’twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive? Falstaff She lives, Master Shallow. Shallow She never could away with me. Falstaff Never, never; she would always say she could not abide Master Shallow. Shallow By the mass, I could anger her to the heart. She was then a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well? Falstaff Old, old, Master Shallow. Shallow Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old; certain she’s old; and had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I came to Clement’s Inn. Bullcalf That’s fifty-five year ago. Shallow Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well? Falstaff We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow. Shallow That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith, Sir John, we have: our watch-word was “Hem boys!” Come, let’s to dinner; come, let’s to dinner: Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come. Exeunt Falstaff and Justices. Bullcalf Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and here’s four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go: and yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care; but rather, because I am unwilling, and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with my friends; else, sir, I did not care, for mine own part, so much. Bardolph Go to; stand aside. Mouldy And, good master corporal captain, for my old dame’s sake, stand my friend: she has nobody to do any thing about her when I am gone; and she is old, and cannot help herself: You shall have forty, sir. Bardolph Go to; stand aside. Feeble By my troth, I care not; a man can die but once: we owe God a death: I’ll ne’er bear a base mind: an’t be my destiny, so; an’t be not, so: no man is too good to serve’s prince; and let it go which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for the next. Bardolph Well said; thou’rt a good fellow. Feeble Faith, I’ll bear no base mind. Re-enter Falstaff and the Justices. Falstaff Come, sir, which men shall I have? Shallow Four of which you please. Bardolph Sir, a word with you: I have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf. Falstaff Go to; well. Shallow Come, Sir John, which four will you have? Falstaff Do you choose for me. Shallow Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble and Shadow. Falstaff Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home till you are past service: and for your part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it: I will none of you. Shallow Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong: they are your likeliest men, and I would have you served with the best. Falstaff Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature, bulk, and big assemblance of a man! Give me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart; you see what a ragged appearance it is: a’ shall charge you and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer’s hammer, come off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer’s bucket. And this same half-faced fellow, Shadow; give me this man: he presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat; how swiftly will this Feeble the woman’s tailor run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into Wart’s hand, Bardolph. Bardolph Hold, Wart, traverse; thus, thus, thus. Falstaff Come, manage me your caliver. So: very well: go to: very good, exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old, chapt, bald shot. Well said, i’ faith, Wart; thou’rt a good scab: hold, there’s a tester for thee. Shallow He is not his craft’s master; he doth not do it right. I remember at Mile-end Green, when I lay at Clement’s Inn⁠—I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s show⁠—there was a little quiver fellow, and a’ would manage you his piece thus; and a’ would about and about, and come you in and come you in: “rah, tah, tah,” would a’ say; “bounce” would a’ say; and away again would a’ go, and again would a’ come: I shall ne’er see such a fellow. Falstaff These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. God keep you, Master Silence: I will not use many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen both: I thank you: I must a dozen mile to-night. Bardolph, give the soldiers coats. Shallow Sir John, the Lord bless you! God prosper your affairs! God send us peace! At your return visit our house; let our old acquaintance be renewed: peradventure I will with ye to the court. Falstaff ’Fore God, I would you would, Master Shallow. Shallow Go to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you. Falstaff Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. Exeunt Justices. On, Bardolph; lead the men away. Exeunt Bardolph, Recruits, etc. As I return, I will fetch off these justices: I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying! This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of his youth, and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street; and every third word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk’s tribute. I do remember him at Clement’s Inn like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when a’ was naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife: a’ was so forlorn, that his dimensions to any thick sight were invincible: a’ was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the whores called him