An Ideal Husband

Gertrude! Shall I see you at Lady Bonar’s tonight? She has discovered a wonderful new genius. He does⁠ ⁠… nothing at all, I believe. That is a great comfort, is it not? Lady Chiltern Robert and I are dining at home by ourselves tonight, and I don’t think I shall go anywhere afterwards. Robert, of course, will have to be in the House. But there is nothing interesting on. Lady Markby Dining at home by yourselves? Is that quite prudent? Ah, I forgot, your husband is an exception. Mine is the general rule, and nothing ages a woman so rapidly as having married the general rule. Exit Lady Markby. Mrs. Cheveley Wonderful woman, Lady Markby, isn’t she? Talks more and says less than anybody I ever met. She is made to be a public speaker. Much more so than her husband, though he is a typical Englishman, always dull and usually violent. Lady Chiltern Makes no answer, but remains standing. There is a pause. Then the eyes of the two women meet. Lady Chiltern looks stern and pale. Mrs. Cheveley seem rather amused. Mrs. Cheveley, I think it is right to tell you quite frankly that, had I known who you really were, I should not have invited you to my house last night. Mrs. Cheveley With an impertinent smile. Really? Lady Chiltern I could not have done so. Mrs. Cheveley I see that after all these years you have not changed a bit, Gertrude. Lady Chiltern I never change. Mrs. Cheveley Elevating her eyebrows. Then life has taught you nothing? Lady Chiltern It has taught me that a person who has once been guilty of a dishonest and dishonourable action may be guilty of it a second time, and should be shunned. Mrs. Cheveley Would you apply that rule to everyone? Lady Chiltern Yes, to everyone, without exception. Mrs. Cheveley Then I am sorry for you, Gertrude, very sorry for you. Lady Chiltern You see now, I was sure, that for many reasons any further acquaintance between us during your stay in London is quite impossible? Mrs. Cheveley Leaning back in her chair. Do you know, Gertrude, I don’t mind your talking morality a bit. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike. You dislike me. I am quite aware of that. And I have always detested you. And yet I have come here to do you a service. Lady Chiltern Contemptuously. Like the service you wished to render my husband last night, I suppose. Thank heaven, I saved him from that. Mrs. Cheveley Starting to her feet. It was you who made him write that insolent letter to me? It was you who made him break his promise? Lady Chiltern Yes. Mrs. Cheveley Then you must make him keep it. I give you till tomorrow morning⁠—no more. If by that time your husband does not solemnly bind himself to help me in this great scheme in which I am interested⁠— Lady Chiltern This fraudulent speculation⁠— Mrs. Cheveley Call it what you choose. I hold your husband in the hollow of my hand, and if you are wise you will make him do what I tell him. Lady Chiltern Rising and going towards her. You are impertinent. What has my husband to do with you? With a woman like you? Mrs. Cheveley With a bitter laugh. In this world like meets with like. It is because your husband is himself fraudulent and dishonest that we pair so well together. Between you and him there are chasms. He and I are closer than friends. We are enemies linked together. The same sin binds us. Lady Chiltern How dare you class my husband with yourself? How dare you threaten him or me? Leave my house. You are unfit to enter it. Sir Robert Chiltern enters from behind. He hears his wife’s last words, and sees to whom they are addressed. He grows deadly pale. Mrs. Cheveley Your house! A house bought with the price of dishonour. A house, everything in which has been paid for by fraud. Turns round and sees Sir Robert Chiltern. Ask him what the origin of his fortune is! Get him to tell you how he sold to a stockbroker a Cabinet secret. Learn from him to what you owe your position. Lady Chiltern It is not true! Robert! It is not true! Mrs. Cheveley Pointing at him with outstretched finger. Look at him! Can he deny it? Does he dare to? Sir Robert Chiltern Go! Go at once. You have done your worst now. Mrs. Cheveley My worst? I have not yet finished with you, with either of you. I give you both till tomorrow at noon. If by then you don’t do what I bid you to do, the whole world shall know the origin of Robert Chiltern. Sir Robert Chiltern strikes the bell. Enter Mason. Sir Robert Chiltern Show Mrs. Cheveley out. Mrs. Cheveley starts; then bows with somewhat exaggerated politeness to Lady Chiltern, who makes no sign of response. As she passes by Sir Robert Chiltern, who is standing close to the door, she pauses for a moment and looks him straight in the face. She then goes out, followed by the servant, who closes the door after him. The husband and wife are left alone. Lady Chiltern stands like someone in a dreadful dream. Then she turns round and looks at her husband. She looks at him with strange eyes, as though she were seeing him for the first time. Lady Chiltern You sold a Cabinet secret for money! You began your life with fraud! You built up your career on dishonour! Oh, tell me it is not true! Lie to me! Lie to me! Tell me it is not true! Sir Robert Chiltern What this woman said is quite true. But, Gertrude, listen to me. You don’t realise how I was tempted. Let me tell you the whole thing. Goes towards her. Lady Chiltern Don’t come near me. Don’t touch me. I feel as if you had soiled me forever. Oh! what a mask you have been wearing all these years! A horrible painted