R.U.R.

so on. Then you will see the bone factory. After that I’ll show you the spinning mill. Helena Spinning mill? Domin Yes. For weaving nerves and veins. Miles and miles of digestive tubes pass through it at a time. Helena Watching his gestures. Mayn’t we talk about something else? Domin Perhaps it would be better. There’s only a handful of us among a hundred thousand Robots, and not one woman. We talk nothing but the factory all day, and every day. It’s just as if we were under a curse, Miss Glory. Helena I’m sorry I said that you were lying. A KNOCK at door R. Domin Come in. He is C. From R. enter Dr. Gall, Dr. Fabry, Alquist and Dr. Hallemeier. All act formal⁠—conscious. All click heels as introduced. Dr. Gall Noisily. I beg your pardon. I hope we don’t intrude. Domin No, no. Come in. Miss Glory, here are Gall, Fabry, Alquist, Hallemeier. This is President Glory’s daughter. All move to her and shake her hand. Helena How do you do? Fabry We had no idea⁠— Dr. Gall. Highly honored, I’m sure⁠— Alquist Welcome, Miss Glory. Busman Rushes in from R. Hello, what’s up? Domin Come in, Busman. This is President Glory’s daughter. This is Busman, Miss Glory. Busman By Jove, that’s fine. All click heels. He crowds in and shakes her hand. Miss Glory, may we send a cablegram to the papers about your arrival? Helena No, no, please don’t. Domin Sit down, please, Miss Glory. On the line, “Sit down, please,” all Six Men try to find her a chair at once. Helena goes for the chair at the extreme L. Domin takes the chair at front of desk, places it in the C. of stage. Hallemeier gets chair at Sulla’s typewriter and places it to R. of chair at C. Busman gets armchair from extreme R., but by now Helena has sat in Domin’s preferred chair, at C. All sit except Domin. Busman at R. in armchair. Hallemeier R. of Helena. Fabry in swivel chair back of desk. Busman Allow me⁠— Dr. Gall. Please⁠— Fabry Excuse me⁠— Alquist What sort of a crossing did you have? Dr. Gall Are you going to stay long? Men conscious of their appearance. Alquist’s trousers turned up at bottom. He turns them down. Busman polishes shoes. Others fix ties, collars, etc. Fabry What do you think of the factory, Miss Glory? Hallemeier Did you come over on the Amelia? Domin Be quiet and let Miss Glory speak. Men sit erect. Domin stands at Helena’s L. Helena To Domin. What am I to speak to them about? Men look at one another. Domin Anything you like. Helena Looks at Domin. May I speak quite frankly? Domin Why, of course. Helena To Others. Wavering, then in desperate resolution. Tell me, doesn’t it ever distress you the way you are treated? Fabry By whom, may I ask? Helena Why, everybody. Alquist Treated? Dr. Gall What makes you think⁠— Helena Don’t you feel that you might be living a better life? Pause. All confused. Dr. Gall Smiling. Well, that depends on what you mean, Miss Glory. Helena I mean that it’s perfectly outrageous. It’s terrible. Standing up. The whole of Europe is talking about the way you’re being treated. That’s why I came here, to see for myself, and it’s a thousand times worse than could have been imagined. How can you put up with it? Alquist Put up with what? Helena Good heavens, you are living creatures, just like us, like the whole of Europe, like the whole world. It’s disgraceful that you must live like this. Busman Good gracious, Miss Glory! Fabry Well, she’s not far wrong. We live here just like red Indians. Helena Worse than red Indians. May I⁠—oh, may I call you⁠—brothers? Men look at each other. Busman Why not? Helena Looking at Domin. Brothers, I have not come here as the President’s daughter. I have come on behalf of the Humanity League. Brothers, the Humanity League now has over two hundred thousand members. Two hundred thousand people are on your side, and offer you their help. Tapping back of chair. Busman Two hundred thousand people, Miss Glory; that’s a tidy lot. Not bad. Fabry I’m always telling you there’s nothing like good old Europe. You see they’ve not forgotten us. They’re offering us help. Dr. Gall What kind of help? A theatre, for instance? Hallemeier An orchestra? Helena More than that. Alquist Just you? Helena Glaring at Domin. Oh, never mind about me. I’ll stay as long as it is necessary. All express delight. Busman By Jove, that’s good. Alquist Rising L. Domin, I’m going to get the best room ready for Miss Glory. Domin Just a minute. I’m afraid that Miss Glory is of the opinion she has been talking to Robots. Helen Of course. Men laugh. Domin I’m sorry. These gentlemen are human beings just like us. Helena You’re not Robots? Together. Busman
Hallemeier
Dr. Gall
Fabry Not Robots. Robots indeed! No, thanks. Upon my honor, Miss Glory, we aren’t Robots. Helena Then why did you tell me that all your officials are Robots? Domin Yes, the officials, but not the managers. Allow me, Miss Glory⁠—this is Consul Busman, General Business Manager; this is Doctor Fabry, General Technical Manager; Doctor Hallemeier, head of the Institute for the Psychological Training of Robots; Doctor Gall, head of the Psychological and Experimental Department; and Alquist, head of the Building Department, R.U.R. As they are introduced they rise and come C. to kiss her hand, except Gall and Alquist, whom Domin pushes away. General babble. Alquist Just a builder. Please sit down. Helena Excuse me, gentlemen. Have I done something dreadful? Alquist Not at all, Miss Glory. Busman Handing flowers. Allow me, Miss Glory. Helena Thank you. Fabry Handing candy. Please, Miss Glory. Domin Will you have a cigarette, Miss Glory? Helena No, thank you.