Romeo and Juliet

tell her, sir, that you do protest; which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer. Romeo

Bid her devise
Some means to come to shrift this afternoon;
And there she shall at Friar Laurence’ cell
Be shrived and married. Here is for thy pains.

Nurse No, truly, sir; not a penny. Romeo Go to; I say you shall. Nurse This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there. Romeo

And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey wall:
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell; be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains:
Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.

Nurse Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir. Romeo What say’st thou, my dear nurse? Nurse

Is your man secret? Did you ne’er hear say,
Two may keep counsel, putting one away?

Romeo I warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel. Nurse Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady⁠—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing:⁠—O, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man; but, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter? Romeo Ay, nurse; what of that? both with an R. Nurse Ah, mocker! that’s the dog’s name; R is for the⁠—No; I know it begins with some other letter:⁠—and she hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it. Romeo Commend me to thy lady. Nurse Ay, a thousand times. Exit Romeo. Peter! Peter Anon! Nurse Peter, take my fan, and go before, and apace. Exeunt.

Scene V

Capulet’s orchard.

	Enter Juliet.
Juliet	The clock struck nine when I did send the nurse; In half an hour she promised to return. Perchance she cannot meet him: that’s not so. O, she is lame! love’s heralds should be thoughts, Which ten times faster glide than the sun’s beams, Driving back shadows over louring hills: Therefore do nimble-pinion’d doves draw love, And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings. Now is the sun upon the highmost hill Of this day’s journey, and from nine till twelve Is three long hours, yet she is not come. Had she affections and warm youthful blood, She would be as swift in motion as a ball; My words would bandy her to my sweet love, And his to me: But old folks, many feign as they were dead; Unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead. O God, she comes!
	Enter Nurse and Peter.
	O honey nurse, what news? Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away.
Nurse	Peter, stay at the gate. Exit Peter.
Juliet	Now, good sweet nurse⁠—O Lord, why look’st thou sad? Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily; If good, thou shamest the music of sweet news By playing it to me with so sour a face.
Nurse	I am a-weary, give me leave awhile: Fie, how my bones ache! what a jaunt have I had!
Juliet	I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news. Nay, come, I pray thee, speak; good, good nurse, speak.
Nurse	Jesu, what haste? can you not stay awhile? Do you not see that I am out of breath?
Juliet	How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath To say to me that thou art out of breath? The excuse that thou dost make in this delay Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse. Is thy news good, or bad? answer to that; Say either, and I’ll stay the circumstance: Let me be satisfied, is’t good or bad?
Nurse	Well, you have made a simple choice; you know not how to choose a man: Romeo! no, not he; though his face be better than any man’s, yet his leg excels all men’s; and for a hand, and a foot, and a body, though they be not to be talked on, yet they are past compare: he is not the flower of courtesy, but, I’ll warrant him, as gentle as a lamb. Go thy ways, wench; serve God. What, have you dined at home?
Juliet	No, no: but all this did I know before. What says he of our marriage? what of that?
Nurse	Lord, how my head aches! what a head have I! It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces. My back o’ t’other side⁠—O, my back, my back! Beshrew your heart for sending me about, To catch my death with jaunting up and down!
Juliet	I’ faith, I am sorry that thou art not well. Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse, tell me, what says my love?
Nurse	Your love says, like an honest gentleman, and a courteous, and a kind, and a handsome, and, I warrant, a virtuous⁠—Where is your mother?
Juliet	Where is my mother! why, she is within; Where should she be? How oddly thou repliest! “Your love says, like an honest gentleman, Where is your mother?”
Nurse	O God’s lady dear! Are you so hot? marry, come up, I trow; Is this the poultice for my aching bones? Henceforward do your messages yourself.
Juliet	Here’s such a coil! come, what says Romeo?
Nurse	Have you got leave to go to shrift to-day?
Juliet	I have.
Nurse	Then hie you hence to Friar Laurence’ cell; There stays a husband to make you a wife: Now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks, They’ll be in scarlet straight at any news. Hie you to church; I must another way, To fetch a ladder, by the which your love Must climb a bird’s nest soon when it is dark: I am the drudge and toil in your delight, But you shall bear the burden soon at night. Go; I’ll to dinner; hie you to the cell.
Juliet	Hie to high fortune! Honest nurse, farewell. Exeunt.

Scene VI

Friar Laurence’s cell.

	Enter Friar Laurence and Romeo.
Friar Laurence	So smile the heavens upon this holy act, That after hours with sorrow chide us not!
Romeo	Amen, amen! but