The Alchemist

mercy.
I thought the liberties. What shall we do now, Face? Face

Be silent: not a word, if he call or knock.
I’ll into mine old shape again and meet him,
Of Jeremy, the butler. In the meantime,
Do you two pack up all the goods and purchase,
That we can carry in the two trunks. I’ll keep him
Off for today, if I cannot longer: and then
At night, I’ll ship you both away to Ratcliff,
Where we will meet tomorrow, and there we’ll share.
Let Mammon’s brass and pewter keep the cellar;
We’ll have another time for that. But, Dol,
Prithee go heat a little water quickly;
Subtle must shave me: all my Captain’s beard
Must off, to make me appear smooth Jeremy.
You’ll do it?

Subtle

Yes, I’ll shave you, as well as I can.

Face

And not cut my throat, but trim me?

Subtle

You shall see, sir.

Exeunt.

Act V

Scene I

Before Lovewit’s door.

	Enter Lovewit, with several of the Neighbours.
Lovewit	Has there been such resort, say you?
1 Neighbour	Daily, sir.
2 Neighbour	And nightly, too.
3 Neighbour	Ay, some as brave as lords.
4 Neighbour	Ladies and gentlewomen.
5 Neighbour	Citizens’ wives.
1 Neighbour	And knights.
6 Neighbour	In coaches.
2 Neighbour	Yes, and oyster women.
1 Neighbour	Beside other gallants.
3 Neighbour	Sailors’ wives.
4 Neighbour	Tobacco men.
5 Neighbour	Another Pimlico!
Lovewit	What should my knave advance, To draw this company? He hung out no banners Of a strange calf with five legs to be seen, Or a huge lobster with six claws?
6 Neighbour	No, sir.
3 Neighbour	We had gone in then, sir.
Lovewit	He has no gift Of teaching in the nose that e’er I knew of. You saw no bills set up that promised cure Of agues, or the toothache?
2 Neighbour	No such thing, sir!
Lovewit	Nor heard a drum struck for baboons or puppets?
5 Neighbour	Neither, sir.
Lovewit	What device should he bring forth now? I love a teeming wit as I love my nourishment: ’Pray God he have not kept such open house, That he hath sold my hangings, and my bedding! I left him nothing else. If he have eat them, A plague o’ the moth, say I! Sure he has got Some bawdy pictures to call all this ging! The friar and the nun; or the new motion Of the knight’s courser covering the parson’s mare; Or ’t may be, he has the fleas that run at tilt Upon a table, or some dog to dance. When saw you him?
1 Neighbour	Who, sir, Jeremy?
2 Neighbour	Jeremy butler? We saw him not this month.
Lovewit	How!
4 Neighbour	Not these five weeks, sir.
6 Neighbour	These six weeks at the least.
Lovewit	You amaze me, neighbours!
5 Neighbour	Sure, if your worship know not where he is, He’s slipt away.
6 Neighbour	Pray God, he be not made away.
Lovewit	Ha! It’s no time to question, then.
	Knocks at the door.
6 Neighbour	About Some three weeks since, I heard a doleful cry, As I sat up a mending my wife’s stockings.
Lovewit	’Tis strange that none will answer! Didst thou hear A cry, sayst thou?
6 Neighbour	Yes, sir, like unto a man That had been strangled an hour, and could not speak.
2 Neighbour	I heard it too, just this day three weeks, at two o’clock Next morning.
Lovewit	These be miracles, or you make them so! A man an hour strangled, and could not speak, And both you heard him cry?
3 Neighbour	Yes, downward, sir.
Lovewit	Thou art a wise fellow. Give me thy hand, I pray thee. What trade art thou on?
3 Neighbour	A smith, and’t please your worship.
Lovewit	A smith! Then lend me thy help to get this door open.
3 Neighbour	That I will presently, sir, but fetch my tools⁠—
	Exit.
1 Neighbour	Sir, best to knock again, afore you break it.
Lovewit	I will. Knocks again.
	Enter Face, in his butler’s livery.
Face	What mean you, sir?
1, 2, 4 Neighbour	O, here’s Jeremy!
Face	Good sir, come from the door.
Lovewit	Why, what’s the matter?
Face	Yet farther, you are too near yet.
Lovewit	In the name of wonder, What means the fellow!
Face	The house, sir, has been visited.
Lovewit	What, with the plague? Stand thou then farther.
Face	No, sir, I had it not.
Lovewit	Who had it then? I left None else but thee in the house.
Face	Yes, sir, my fellow, The cat that kept the buttery, had it on her A week before I spied it; but I got her Conveyed away in the night: and so I shut The house up for a month⁠—
Lovewit	How!
Face	Purposing then, sir, To have burnt rose-vinegar, treacle, and tar, And have made it sweet, that you should ne’er have known it; Because I knew the news would but afflict you, sir.
Lovewit	Breathe less, and farther off! Why this is stranger: The neighbours tell me all here that the doors Have still been open⁠—
Face	How, sir!
Lovewit	Gallants, men and women, And of all sorts, tag-rag, been seen to flock here In threaves, these ten weeks, as to a second Hogsden, In days of Pimlico and Eye-bright.
Face	Sir, Their wisdoms will not say so.
Lovewit	Today they speak Of coaches and gallants; one in a French hood Went in, they tell me; and another was seen In a velvet gown at the window: diverse more Pass in and out.
Face	They did pass through the doors then, Or walls, I assure their eyesights, and their spectacles; For here, sir, are the keys, and here have been, In this my pocket, now above twenty days: And for before, I kept the fort alone there. But that ’tis yet not deep in the afternoon, I should believe my neighbours had seen double Through the black pot, and made these apparitions! For, on my faith to your worship, for these three weeks And upwards the door has not been opened.
Lovewit	Strange!
1 Neighbour	Good faith, I think I saw a coach.
2 Neighbour	And I too, I’d have been sworn.
Lovewit	Do you but think it now? And but one coach?
4 Neighbour	We cannot tell, sir: Jeremy Is a very honest fellow.
Face	Did you see me at all?
1 Neighbour	No; that we are sure on.
2 Neighbour	I’ll be sworn o’ that.
Lovewit	Fine rogues to