Everyone knows how marriages were made among the Romans, confarreatione, “by offering up of burnt cakes,” coemptione, “by the man and his wife, as it were, buying one another, by giving and taking a piece of money,” usu, “or by use, when the woman had lived with the man a whole year:” of which ways the two former were attended with many ceremonies: and the legitimæ tabellæ, “writings appointed by law,” or at least consent of friends (which could not be given without some solemnity) preceded all, auspicia, “omens,” were usually taken, public notaries and witnesses assisted, etc. Among the Greeks, men and women were espoused by mutual promises of fidelity: besides which there were witnesses, and dotal writings (προικῷα); at the wedding, sacrifices to Diana and other deities, and the γαμήλιοι ἐυχαὶ, “nuptial prayers;” and after that, perhaps the being shut up together, eating the κυδώνιον, “quince, together,” a formal λύσις ζώνης, “untying of the bride’s girdle,” etc. The קדושין, “nuptials,” of the Jews have been performed בכסף, “by money,” or בשטר, “by writings of contract,” or בביאה, “by going into the house:” the ceremonies accompanying which may be seen particularly in Shulhan Aruk with the additions of Rabbi Moses Isserles (Eben Ha-Ezer). And (to pass by other nations) the form of solemnization of matrimony, and the manner in which persons married give their troth each to other among us, are extant in our public offices: where they may be seen by such as seem to have forgot what they are. ↩
Connubio stabili: “By a lasting marriage.” (Virgil, Aeneid.) ↩
והיו לבשר אחד דכך דרכה לאתייחדא דכר ונוקבא. בקירוב בשר … דלא יהא דבר חוצץ וכו׳: “And they became one flesh, for it is the custom for men and women to come together, … and that they be no more divided.” (Elijah ben Moses de Vidas, Reshit Hokmah.) ↩
Αὕτη χρημάτων κοινωνία προσήκει μάλιστα τοῖς γαμοῦσιν, εἰς μίαν οὐσίαν πάντα καταχεαμένοις καὶ ἀναμίξασι, μὴ τὸ μέρος ἴδιον, καὶ τὸ μέρος ἀλλότριου, ἀλλὰ πᾶν ἴδιον ἡγεῖσθαι, καὶ μηδὲν ἀλλότριον: “It belongs chiefly to married persons to mix their fortunes together, so as to have but one common stock; and not for them to think that part of it belongs particularly to one and part to the other, but the whole is their own jointly.” (Plutarch, Moralia.) ↩
Σύνδεσμος τὰ τέκνα δοκεῖ εἶναι: “Children seem to be the bond (of matrimony).” (Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics.) ↩
In respect of which, that in Plutarch particularly is true, Ἡ φύσις μάγνυσι διὰ τῶν σωμάτων ἡμᾶς, ἵν᾿ ἐξ ἑκατέρων μέρος λαβοῦσα, καὶ τυγχέασα, κοινὸν ἀμφοτέροις ἀποδῶ τὸ γενόμενον: “Nature, by means of our bodies, so intermixes us, that what is produced becomes common to both, being a part of each, when united together.” (Advice to Bride and Groom.) ↩
Socrates ab adolescentulo quodam consultus, uxorem duceret, an se omni matrimonio abstineret, respondit, Utrum eorum fecisset, acturum pœnitentiam. Hîc te, inquit, solitudo, hîc orbitas, hîc generis interitus, hîc hæres alienus excipiet: illic perpetua solicitudo, contextus querelarum, … incertus liberorum eventus: “Socrates being consulted by a young man, whether he should take a wife or abstain wholly from matrimony, answered that which of them so ever he did, he would repent of it. On the one hand, says he, solitariness, want of children, the death of relations, want of an heir, will attend you; on the other hand (you will find) perpetual anxiety, uninterrupted complaints, … and the uncertain event of children.” (Valerius Maximus, Facta et dicta memorabilia.) ↩
Χρόνῳ συνηθείας ἐντεκούσης πάθος αἰσθάνεται τῷ λογισμῷ τὸ φίλειν καὶ τὸ ἀγαπᾷν ἐπιτεινόμενον: “When, by living a long time together, their mutual affection is eslablished, we find that, which was at first passion, is by reason become true friendship and love.” (Plutarch, Moralia.) ↩
It is visible that polygamy, pellicate [keeping a mistress], etc. must be included here. They are not only inconsistent with our forms, and the very letter of the marriage contract, but with the essence of marriage, which lies in such a union and love as can only be between two. Aristotle does not allow there can be even perfect friendship between more than two: much less therefore, perfect love: Πολλοῖς εἶναι φίλον, κατὰ τὴν τελείαν φιλίαν, οὐκ ἐνδέχεται, ὥσπερ οὐδ᾿ ἐρᾶν πολλῶν ἅμα: “It is impossible to be a friend to a great many, I mean, to be in perfect friendship with them, as it is impossible
